Couch 239: Cape Coral Couch

I gave L a few things, it's so funny I never considered the crocheted stuff as formal "gifts" except for the bowl I made for her before she moved away at the end of year 1, and the very last thing I gave her, that small crocheted mandala. The other crocheted stuff was just like oh this is fun, here have one kind of thing. No meaning attached to them other than that, it wasn't like i made most of them specifically 'for' her (only the bowl and the mandala). I mean I hide those "random acts of crochet kindness" all over town, those aren't like formal 'gifts' either. They're just fun. I gave her 2 items that were not things I had personally made, but both were small/inexpensive. I doubt she would have accepted anything that had any kind of monetary value. i did have to talk about the 'why' some of the times.

Ah, yes! The "why" question... I have to do that with everything I give to L. I don't think it's because she's debating to accept it or not. I think she just wants to know the meaning of why it was special for me to do it.

Hmmm...maybe I don’t want to be in a club that lets me in?

Settlement on my mother’s house is Wednesday. Makes things even real-er, so to speak.

Asking "why" makes sense. Both why the client is giving it and why that particular item. I'd think if they understood the meaning behind it, they might have a better response. Though some people are good at being gracious about any gift, no matter how random it might seem.

Hugs, if wanted, @@.

I did a post-card size painting of a feather one time that I framed and gave to L (all the materials including the frame were from the dollar store, so it was inexpensive). That was one of the times where we had to discuss the why; it was one of the times I'd tried to quit and I ended up realizing it was out of guilt or some such. Boy did that end up feeling uncomfortable.

So, that ended up being an interesting session. I gave him the card, where I'd written some "thank you" stuff early on. He read it and seemed touched by it, saying it was very nice and thanking me multiple times.

Then I mentioned I'd gotten him something , but was unsure whether to give it to him. Which led to a discussion on gifts in general. At one point, I asked, "How do you feel about blown glass?" He said it was funny I should ask that, as it tends to be brightly colored, which doesn't general match his aesthetic. "If it's like a pink unicorn, it probably wouldn't fit." I was like, "OK, maybe I shouldn't give it to you then." He asked, "Is it a pink unicorn?" I said, no, it's a narwhal ("unicorn of the sea"). He said, "Well, if I don't like it, I'll just accidentally break it."

Then we were talking about something else, and the gift came up. He said, "It's a narwhal, right?" Me: "No, but it's another sea creature." Dr. T: "Are we playing 20 questions? Is it a crustacean?" Me: "No." Dr. T: "Sea mammal or fish?" Me: "A fish." Then I was like, "I may as well just give it to you after all that. Besides, you can just break it if you don't like it." Dr. T: "I was just kidding, I wouldn't actually do that." Me: "I know!" Dr. T: "I'm sure I can find a spot for it here."

I handed it to him, and he said, "Oh, OK, it is a fish." Me: "I told you it was!" I said it was because he used to have the betta fish in there, and Fish and I had sort of a connection. He said he had considered getting another office fish. Then he walked over and placed it on a low shelf--"There, it's with another sea creature" (seal). Me: "You're sure it's OK?" He said yes (he also verified what I paid, which was around $12).

As I stood up to leave, I asked if he was still OK with a handshake. He said sure, so I got out my hand sanitizer and put some on my hands. He said, "Oh, I thought we were sanitizing after. OK." (I thought the whole point was to sanitize before?) Shook hands (for the first time in 2.5 years) as he said, "Happy 5 years." Me: "Happy 5 years to you, too." He also thanked me again for the card and fish. Felt like a nice, fairly light, connected session.

Awww...I'm happy for you LT!

Thanks, Scarlet!

So glad it went well LT!

I was supposed to have a session on Saturday with my T.

She was on vacation last week though even though she scheduled me for Saturday. So I texted her in the morning and asked her if she was still okay for a session or would she rather continue her vacation?

She said she would rather continue her vacation but that she could see me if I needed to talk. I told her I was okay that day (I had been suicidal the day before which she knew because I texted her) and that we could wait until Tuesday's session.

Overall I am pleased that she was being honest with me. Clients are expected to be honest with their T's so I find it refreshing when they are honest back. I'm also pleased that I didn't have any abandonment feelings or feeling like she just didn't want to see me or something like that. Dare I say, could that be growth?

I'm pretty tired today. I want to go home and crash out. Just like sleep and sleep and sleep. At least I think I have gotten past the insomnia. Thank goodness. That was truly horrible.

I'm glad it went well, LT!

So I moved back "home" on August 21st and 3 days later got a job offer. Cue a background check misunderstanding (which has totally been resolved) and the manager being on a Leave of Absence with apparently no one else capable of onboarding me and I've been sitting in limbo. I'm supposed to start Wednesday (after it being pushed back several time). Fingers crossed. I need an income and if Wednesday falls through I am going to have to find another gig.

I hope it works out Polibeth!

Hugs, Kit.

Crossing fingers for you Polibeth.

Thank you Artie.

Thanks, Kit!

Thanks, Artie!

Hugs, Kit. I would definitely see it as growth.


I know I'd have been really upset if my T had said he'd rather continue with his vacation than see me for a scheduled session.

I hope it works out for you! That's a really long time to wait for an answer...

Good luck with the job! I hope you get it.

My son had a good first week at his new job in his new city/state. He said last night that they get better breaks there, plus he gets a paid lunch break and since his apartment is 5 minutes from the shop, he can go home for lunch which works out great for him. I think h and I are going to go visit him late February or early March of next year. I'm already looking so forward to the trip!! I'm going to make sure I take a full week off work too - and make it an honest to goodness real vacation instead of just a weekend. I figure by then, he'll have a good idea of what places he wants to show us! I just celebrated my 10-year anniversary (work-iversary?) at current company a couple days ago, so I am now earning a little bit more PTO (paid time off) so it will be easier to save it up.

I just finished the last week of the CBT program exercises in the app; I somehow worked ahead at some point. I asked my coach last week how I got ahead she said cuz I was so excited with something one week she unlocked 2 weeks instead of just one that time haha. I talk to her tomorrow, then next week will be our last call and the 8 weeks will be done. That was a quick 8 weeks but it was really helpful for me.