Couch 239: Cape Coral Couch

I think the first time I applied I just applied for SSDI, but that was back in 2010 so things may have changed since than.

I sure haven't, that's for certain!

I have spiraled so fast in the past week. Feeling extremely hopeless and i’m so much pain.

When I had my SSDI hearing back in 2012 they gave a few jobs they thought I could do, one of which was a packer. Earlier this year I took a job as a packer but was let go after only 2 assignments.

Feeling like I'm sick. I wonder if I should give my therapist a head's up or wait until I take a covid test.

I'm completely embarrassed to ask. Would the women on this forum mind taking this poll I posted? I totally understand if you don't want to post. Just, I really want to know how "normal" this is. L says it's normal. We talked about it today, and we'll be talking about it again on Friday.

Trigger: Thread is about sex:

I took it, Scarlet and wrote a response. I hope L can help you through this.

I'm sorry you're feeling sick. I think your T is out of town and you'd be doing virtual sessions, right? If so, I don't think you need to say anything. Are you concerned you could have been contagious when you saw him? If so, then I'd just wait until you test and only say anything if you're positive.

Hope you feel better soon and that it's not Covid (or if it is, that it's just really mild symptoms).

Hugs, Velcro. When is your next therapy appointment?

Hugs, Kit. I'm sorry you had such a rough day.

Yesterday's session with Dr. T was pretty rough. The first part seemed like we were both just arguing with each other and getting defensive (please note that I am including myself in that description). About 30 minutes in, I started sobbing, put my head in my hands and said, "This is not how I'd hoped this would go."

I shifted direction slightly, and that helped a bit, but it was still pretty rough. He did let me keep talking for a full hour (usually just 50 minutes), saying he wanted to be sure I left on an OK note. But his demeanor just seemed rather cold and clinical throughout the session. (I may write up more later, not sure.)

I was surprised this morning to get an email from him--he *never* initiates emails (unless it's scheduling thing). He wanted to let me know it's OK to email while I'm away, as he knew we'd left things "fairly stressed" at the end of the session. That he wouldn't charge me for the email (we'd had a couple exchanges Sunday and Monday, plus a bit of texting). And then he said he hoped I'd had a safe drive and was enjoying my time at the beach. Which is nice of him (even though it may not sound like much!) and more like how he's been throughout the pandemic. So it made me feel better. (Don't know that I'll send anything, though I'll thank him for his email.)

Hugs, my friend. Hugs

Oh I hope you are feeling better by now and that you don't have Covid.

Thank you LT. I hope today goes better.

Glad your T initiated an email, LT. It sounds helpful! HUGS

Ugh. My T was 20 minutes late to my appointment last night and she didn't make up the time at the end so we only had a 40 minute session. I'm sure it's fine. We usually have 50 minutes. Her sessions are probably billed at 45 minutes or something. But the time went by really fast and I didn't get to say everything I needed to say. We kind of just touched lightly on subjects. I'm supposed to have another appointment on Saturday though so hopefully that one will be better.

Thanks, Kit! It did help--I'm feeling better about him now. We don't meet again until Sunday, so it was good to have some sort of positive communication before that.

Ugh, I'm sorry. Did you say anything when she was ending about wanting to make up the time? If my T is even 3 minutes late, I'll say something near the end like "I assume we have an extra couple minutes because you were late," and he always gives them to me. And 20 minutes is a lot!

I get the feeling she is not hyper aware of time. Usually I am the one to end on time. Last night I didn't do that because I was hoping she would go over due to being so late. (She is usually 10 minutes late.) But she ended on time. She also seemed pretty sleepy during our time but it might be because she took the call from her bed. And I know she hasn't been sleeping well.

It was still an okay session. We talked about the reports I got from the hospital and how they had affected me. She explains the forms she has to fill out for insurance and how there are sets of boxes that she has to check as well as writing stuff down. We got to talk a little about my interpersonal difficulties with my coworker but not as much as I would have liked (I'll make another post about that). And we contracted for another 24 hours. It just seemed really short. But hopefully we can make up some of the time on Saturday or something.

Well the coworker and I that were not getting along yesterday are at peace today. I apologized again (she never apologized) but I did to smooth things over. And this morning I again apologized and then said, "Moving on..." and went into the new topic on my Teams message to her. So that means the discussion is closed. She said she accepts my apology. So I guess that's good. I kind of feel like I capitulated (Is that the right word, LT, @@, stopdog) and let her off the hook but I don't like the tension and now that is gone. Hopefully today I won't have much contact with her (she is in the NY office so sometimes we have a lot of Teams meetings and other times not). I know tomorrow will be a high contact day so I will have to be on my toes then.

I feel absolutely dreadful. Fever, chills, joint pain, muscle aches, headache. I was too tired to do the covid test last night, but I did it this morning and am waiting on the results. With P, I was worried that I gave him something, but honestly it'd be more likely he gave me something since I rarely go inside anywhere. His trip is to do veteran evals so he's probably going to be around a bunch of people which is why I ended up telling him I was sick. He can decide what to do with that information.

HUGS NP_Complete I'm so sorry you are sick and that you are not feeling well. Try to rest and drink fluids (doctor's always seem to tell a person that so I am passing along that wisdom) and try to self care during this time...naps as needed, funny movies, good book (if it doesn't hurt your eyes to read), etc. HUGS I hope you feel better soon, Kit

Kit, capitulate means "to give in", it comes from when countries "capitulate" during wars, they agree to the terms of their enemies in that case. It's a fine word to use in that context. I'm glad your coworker got off your back a bit. Just remember apologizing and taking part of the blame makes you the stronger one right now, you know you didn't do everything right and try to change, who knows whether she knows her part and tries to...

Hugs Np, try to rest and stay hydrated...

Thank you CNS, for the explanation and your response.

I will usually apologize and take most of the blame for something. My T told me she was proud of me for saying something to this coworker but I know that she will also appreciate that I brought the struggle to an end. I do not do well with tension with coworkers and it wasn't a hill I was going to die on. It was something I could afford to "lose some face" with and apologize. A little bit of humility sometimes goes a long way. There are times when I will stand my ground but it has to be something that is really important to me. I think I can make some changes in my behavior and work patterns that will make this coworker happy and it won't end up being a big deal. It was nice that she accepted my apology and we could move forward today.