Couch 239: Cape Coral Couch

I often feel like taking all of the blame too!

But like you said, you did really well here. You first spoke up but maybe were too harsh or whatever and corrected for it and apologized. I think that's really good, you show what you need but at the same time don't pressure other people too much.

hugs and head nods all around as needed/wanted/appropriate.

I just made a big mess in my office - I'm not sure how it happened, actually. I'd just made a fresh cup of iced tea in my big insulated cup that has a lid and a straw - sat it on my desk on the coaster where it usually sits - opened my lap top cuz I'm on my lunch break and pulled up my email and then for absolutely no reason at all the cup decided to dump over and fall on the floor, right on top of my power strip and everything that's plugged into it (work computer/monitors/my laptop/phone charger). Ice and tea went everywhere in a grand cascade. I used a broom to lift the power strip out of the ice/water puddle and put it on a towel then cleaned up the floor. I'm guessing the ice deflected everything else to the floor and so no tea went down into the plugs, as it looks dry on top. Whew! It's all cleaned up now but what a mess. I may be re-thinking this giant cup... although I've been using this one and one like it pretty much since I started working at home several years ago and this is the first time it has spilled.... must be a lesson from the universe in there somewhere...

Ugh, I hope you feel better soon. I think it is good you told him--even if he's the one who gave it to you, it suggests he should test, particularly if yours comes back positive. Did you do a PCR or home antigen one?

Speaking of Covid, H is still testing as positive on home tests 8 days after his first symptoms. We were hoping he could test out (2 negative tests 48 hours apart starting day 5, per new CDC regulations), but nope. D tested negative Sunday, a week after her symptoms/positive test (both were the same day).

So H is masking indoors around my parents (they're staying in a different condo) and around me, and I'm also masking when I'm in the room indoors with him--I have no idea whether I've had it and have just gotten a bunch of false negatives (no real symptoms) or if I somehow managed to fight it off. Or if I actually had it a couple weeks ago when I had a 2-day sore throat, but tested negative multiple times, including a few days after my symptoms ended.

I hate not having any idea of whether I'm in the clear or not. My parents were exposed to D just before she started symptoms (and was likely contagious)--they said they had "the sniffles" for a couple days but kept testing negative as well (home antigen test). So don't know if they actually had it either--they just got their second booster a month ago, so maybe it protected them? Just feel like I'm in limbo.

(I hope it doesn't sound like I'm in a victim mindset there. Stupid Dr. T putting that in my head and now making me wonder if he's thinking that about anything I tell him that's negative.)

I took a home test and it came back negative so maybe it was some sort of flu. I'm feeling a little better physically now, just feeling sad and lonely.

Glad you're feeling better. If you were that symptomatic and had Covid, it likely would have come back positive. I think the flu is going around as well.

I'm bored. Better than the chaos of yesterday but now I'm just like when is this day going to be over?!! I'm supposed to go to Church tonight but I don't feel like going. I don't know how I am going to resolve that one. I have 3 nights for sure filled this week, 4 if I go to Church tonight. I know I need to have some free time also. It's a hard thing to figure out--how much will I get out of going tonight vs how much will I get out of not going tonight. I've been not going the past three weeks. I said I would really try to come this week. Maybe I am isolating. Hard to tell. Too much time to ruminate on this stuff since I am not busy today.

I have a sleep study tonight. Not looking forward to getting all the goop in my hair out. That and I get horrible homesickness. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep like normal.

Good luck on the sleep study, Scarlet. I hope they find out what they need to know! HUGS Kit

I hope you start feeling better soon. Hugs if wanted.

I hope it gives you some answers! Hugs, if wanted.

I can understand feeling in limbo, and I don't think it's victim mindset - I think it's more just that everything about covid keeps changing so it's really hard to know anything for sure about it.

Thanks, Artie! It just seems so much easier if you have one clear exposure moment vs. being in the same household as someone. Which I imagine you experienced with your H--you managed to not get it, right? And is he doing OK now?

If it goes away and comes back and goes away again several times it might still be Covid. My wife and I both had yo-yoing symptoms that were unlike anything we had ever experienced.

Thanks all for the well wishes! I actually don't know why I'm having another sleep study...lol. I had one like a year ago and they already found out that I had severe sleep apnea (47 an hour!). I've been on my cpap and doing well (3 per hour). New PCP wants updated info? I guess? Who knows! It's only a minor bother, but it's just one night.

I had a really great time on my cruise!

I came back too close to when classes began, though. I got home at 2 AM August 11 and my first class was August 20. I also had two long mandatory meetings during that time.

I was really stressed trying to get my course syllabus and assignments into good order. And I'm trying a brand new assignment this semester, so seeing that up was even more work.

Now I have to start doing recordings for each chapter. The ones I have are 3 years old, which isn't a lot when you teach about ancient Greece but is huge when you teach U.S. social welfare policy.

This week has not been going well. I met with a graduate assistant to show him how to do some reports. This usually takes me 30 minutes, maybe 40-45 if the student asks a lot of questions. My cognitive problems have vintners to get worse Nevada it took me an hour and 15 minutes and I didn't even get through everything. I got confused several times. Once, I was looking right at the number 10 on the screen (it was Step 10) but it took me 3 tries to say the right number out loud.

This is devastating to me. If I can't teach, I will have to go on disability. Doing research is much harder for me than teaching... I'm good at research, but it's a lot of work. Teaching is easy by comparison. And I'm at a teaching institution so doing all research isn't an option anyway.

I've had two class sessions so far and they both went okay, I think. But I was struggling to follow what was happening at times during my...5 hours of meetings.

I'm so frustrated by these limitations and the feeling that tasks I used to do with ease are so much more difficult now. It's so hard to tell what is depression and what is down to these cognitive changes. I was screaming inside my head today after hour 4 of meetings. I almost felt panicked that I needed to get out of there after hour 5...I stayed to finish 3 small things but then I regretted staying.

I can't see my neurologist until October 1. In fact, I think that is the earliest date I can call to request an appointment. Who knows when I'll be able to get in! (She is changing from private practice to a local clinic.)

I've cried 3 or 4 days in a row, just in despair. My job is the way I define myself. I'm worried about losing it.

Fort wise name I cannot pronounce over caves in Dubrovnik, Croatia. I really enjoyed the Game of Thrones tour. Fortress over Dubrovnik Croatia July 2022.jpg

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MP - I hope you can keep teaching. Such a thing would be devastating.
I am going to have to tape a couple of lectures this semester because of university related travel and I am not good at it. I need the interaction with the class to help energize things.

5 hours of meetings is just nuts in general.

Your trip sounds fun.

I finally moved back home (18 hour drive from where I was living in the south). It was a long trip with two cats and involved staying one night at a hotel with cats. Ex-husband and I clearly have a long way to go for total reconciliation but we have made oh so much progress. I'm proud of us! And I've got a job interview tomorrow morning - so relieved.

Thanks LT. I saw my long-term T tonight. Still feeling really, really bad. I do not know how I will make it through two more days of work. I barely made it to work today.
Thanks Kit. I know you understand.
I'm glad you are feeling a little better. I'm with you on the sad/lonely bit.
Welcome back! I'm glad things are going well for you. I can not imagine driving 18 hours with cats. Mine barely make it the 10 minutes to the vet's office.

Yes, he's completely recovered, for which I am so thankful! And you're right, I never got it as far as I know anyway. He isolated in the bedroom and I only went in there if he needed help, and I wore a mask and washed my hands really well when I did. I slept on the couch until he had no more symptoms/no fever and had tested negative. I tested several times too while he was sick and after and was always negative. And, once he tested negative I wiped down everything in the bedroom/bathroom with clorox wipes. he thought i was being silly but... I really, really do not want to get it!

Hey! I resemble that remark...

I’m so sorry about the cognitive issues and I hope you can keep on teaching. I have the same fear about my hearing, and that’s down the road a ways, but yes, it’s a tough reality to deal with.

I knew a couple of guys who used to say that. It never scanned for me, altho i think i did say it here once. Still, i find it grates on the ear.

Good luck on the job interview! And hope the reconciliation keeps improving.

MP, I also hope you're able to keep teaching. And that you can see your neurologist soon and get some answers/help. Out of curiosity, have you had your B12 levels checked? I know that low levels of that can cause cognitive issues (and some people can't process the oral form correctly and would need injections).


Also glad you enjoyed the cruise!

I think I felt better yesterday because I took some ibuprofen and it killed my fever. Going to go get a PCR and flu test done today because I'm really curious what I'm suffering from.