Shame

Last session my therapist asked me what I would like to work on going forward. I told her that I would like to work on shame. I always feel shameful everyday not just the trauma but everything about me I don't feel confident or good about myself. I do not even know if working on shame is a goal in therapy.

If you are spending time in therapy working on shame, then that is one of your goals in therapy. I can't think of much more important than improving perception of oneself in therapy.

Dear @Taylor27, someone(s?) put that belief into you, probably a long time ago. Please try to be kind for yourself, ok?

I think it can definitely be a goal. Shame is something I deal with as well. I just told my T yesterday that something he'd said a few months ago brought up shame in me, and I felt worried about bringing up the topic that led to that comment again. So we talked a bit about where the shame came from, which involved messages I'd gotten from my mom. I feel those sorts of discussions are a part of the bigger picture of therapy for me, but I see how it could be a main focus, too. Particularly because you said it affects you daily.

What did your T say when you gave that answer?

I am trying so hard to be kind to myself, thank you for reminding me.

She agreed with me and when I told her this will take me a long time to work through she reminded me this did not happen to me over night. I think she was happy that I have this goal in place.

She makes a really good point on it taking a long time to work through. I hope she'll be able to help you work through it and get to a better place!

I trust her to help me through this. She has been very supportive of me from day one and that helps me to open up to her more.

I think working on shame is a great thing to work on. For me it is guilt, I'm not quite sure if that is the same thing but I think so. I feel guilty about EVERYTHING in life and it has a huge impact on my inability to every experience happiness. I commend your T for asking and setting a goal for therapy.

I feel very good that my therapist asked me what I would like to work on going forward. I have been stuck for some time with everything going on at the mental health clinic. Yes it's still very stressful and everyday I can't help it but think my therapists going to be fired. I know she knows how much it's been bothering me.

However she is still there and I need to focus my attention on myself. I have told her for a few sessions that it's been hard for me to focus on life in general. I think now by her asking me that question has helped me focus on myself and goals.

A lot of people deal with shame everyday and I think it’s a great goal to work on and to improve one’s quality of life. Also I think it’s great that your therapist asked you what you would like to do, it empowers you in therapy (in a positive way!) in my opinion. Be kind to yourself and let your T guide you through this journey.