[Rive.]

If you could create your 'ideal' T, what would you want? It can be anything from gender to physical characteristics, to personality traits to the way they practice to... boundaries and so on.

Does your T match this picture? Are they the best fit ('ideal') for you?

[downandlonely]

I have stopped seeing therapists because they never seemed to understand me. I actually see certified peer support specialists now. They don't have master's degrees but lived experiences with mental illness. I guess if I could find a therapist who had lived experience with mental illness, that would be ideal.

[ElectricManatee]

I prefer older-than-me female therapists and would like somebody who can combine really analytical stuff with the newer somatic trauma treatments. They have to be smarter than average, warm, and have a good sense of humor. (In other words, I have to feel comfortable being myself with them.)

My current T ticks most of these boxes. There's a little more thinking than feeling in our sessions sometimes (which I like but is also sometimes probably me avoiding painful emotions). She is not totally well-versed or tuned into the body reactions of the newer schools of trauma thought, but she is learning and she has also become interested in the neuroscience of trauma in the last few years. She is incredibly good at understanding personalities and relationship dynamics and how they all fit together. She still blows my mind with her insights sometimes. I would say that she's not a perfect fit but she's definitely "good enough."

[SlumberKitty]

I like a female therapist, who is older than me, and who is warm, and bright, and articulate, and curious. I don't want to have words spun around that I don't understand--like psychobabble. I want things in layman terms. I want a T that regards me with unconditional positive regard. Who respects my decisions, who helps me with my care, who isn't afraid of taking on the challenge of working with me. I want her to be open-minded but also not afraid to have an opinion. I want a T that can recognize when I am spiraling and help me make a good choice then about my care. I like a T who listens and who I feel is listening to me. I want her to be someone I can look up to, without putting her on a pedestal. If she has different religious thoughts and beliefs than me, I want her to validate mine and be aware and cognizant of how that affects who I am as a person. Mostly, I want my therapist to care about me and be there for me.

[AliceKate]

I think the image I hold of a perfect T is largely shaped by the contrast of my former (not fitting) T to my current (fitting) T. I know he's not perfect, but he's the perfect amount of good enough

[ScarletPimpernel]

My family and I have a name for L: Mary Poppins because she is practically perfect in every way...lol. Of course L is not perfect. Because she is open and honest with me, I see her limits and weaknesses, as well as her strengths and quirks. I think the parts of her that aren't perfect or ideal just make her human, which in itself is ideal. So instead of trying to fit L into a mold, I fit the mold around her, if that makes sense? She's my ideal therapist.

[Deejay14]

Someone who is patient, can help me think things through when my PTSD and anxiety is ramped up and most importantly keeping excellent boundaries all while not getting dependent on her. That last one belongs to both of us.

Quite frankly, a vaguely functional and mostly human one would be a start.