Related unrelated

So, there is a guy at work with an incredibly soft eye and kind demeanor. I met him last year in early December and thought he was someone to know. Working different shifts, different teams, different sides of the office made it hard to do without being awkward. A few weeks ago I went into work and discovered he now sits with my team (I work from home but check in with my team now and then). You could tell he was using every ounce of self control he had not to pet my service dog... so I gave her the command to go visit and gave myself the excuse to talk to him.
Tonight in my pain over new T not seeing me, not hearing me, not having compassion I cyber stalked my co-worker... And he might have saved my life tonight. If nothing else he made the pain bearable for a little longer. In this video he recorded a couple years ago, long before our paths ever crossed, completely unrelated to me, this one maybe two minute video... he said everything I needed T to say, he saw me, he heard me, he had compassion for me, he stood beside me. He was there for me before I hit this low, before I knew him. I wish I could hug him and tell him what he did tonight but obviously I would look a little creeper...

I deserve more people like him in my life... no matter what the relationship, friend, spouse, T, yoga instructor... I need and deserve more people like him in my life... and the courage to talk to them when they make REAL eye contact and smile as I walk by.

It’s kind of amazing the effect people can have on us, even if we don’t personally know them. And that instant feeling of intrigue or connection. It’s scary, but yeah, intriguing..

I had a similar thing with someone at work. Nothing panned out from it, but we did get breakfast together once. She just had that warm vibe, like maybe she could understand me and be an ally, or someone I could eventually lean on. We’re still friend on social media, and those feelings I had for her initially are still there.

Doesn’t happen often, so have to make the most of it when it does I guess

I agree, about deserving more people like him in our lives

I was able to talk to the co-worker and owned up to finding the video. He was very kind and supportive. I have been watching the video regularly to keep me afloat. Still just trying not to latch onto the co-worker too hard right now an destroy any chance at a friendship before we even get started. He also gave me lots of much needed in person hugs.
I am seeing that it is so hard for those of us that grew up in toxic environments to find and navigate normal ones. The rules that kept us alive and connected all our lives are now labeled dysfunctional or unhealthy... and the things the "normal" people do scare us because they are so strange and unpredictable.
Then T's tell us to go out and socialize as if it is just going to click and we will get it???