Couch 244: Great Expectations

I made it back home late last night, good to sleep in my own bed again! Doing laundry now.

I made a little doll sweater this evening:

Aw, that's cute!

Just booked the Disney World trip for my friend and I for next May.

Una how are you doing after your eye surgery?

Thanks for asking! My eye bubble spawned a baby bubble this morning. So it looks like ive got a unicycle sitting across the bottom of my vision. But at least its not making me dizzy anymore, and mostly all my floaters have disappeared, and as i told my lovely doc at my last visit, my vision is just a little worse than the other eye! Honestly medicine is magic.

H & I just got home from a dr appt and doing some errands and as we drove up to our driveway, we saw a coyote cross the street right in front of our house. I couldn't get my phone out fast enough to get a pic. There's a patch of desert at the circle end of our street, he likely came out of there. First time we've seen one so close to our house since we moved to Arizona - but I know they're all over the place here.

My session today was pretty hard there at the end. Good work, but hard and I feel a therapy hangover coming on. H was already gone on a job when I got home, so I have the next about 3 hours to myself which is good. I'm going to go veg out in front of the TV and probably fall asleep.

Hugs and headnods all around as wanted/needed/appropriate.

Hugs back at you, Artie! Glad you did good work, but sorry about the therapy hangover. (I've had my share of those...) Glad you have some time to yourself to process.

Thanks LT.

Yeah, that's one part of therapy that is so dis-likeable: the stirring up of stuff in sessions then we're just supposed to flip a switch or something and suddenly be functional again. Right. I don't even remember most of my drive home from her office... I did indeed fall asleep on the couch and when h got home he woke me up because he couldn't find the ketchup (!) but then he found it before I got in the kitchen so I just went to bed and talked to L in my head for a bit about it all until I fell asleep again. Now of course it's one a.m. and I'm wide awake and thinking about everything again.

I think I might need to work with a trauma t.

I find myself wishing I'd stayed at my sister's longer! I'm not as ready to be home as I thought I was... oh well, one more day off then I go back to work on Sunday. I'm glad I took the extra couple of days off work.

2 am now haha. I don't have to work today so I suppose it doesn't matter. Maybe I'll go watch the rest of the netflix documentary I fell asleep to earlier and let it put me to sleep again.

morning couchies, hugs/headnods all around again as wanted/needed/appropriate.

h just left on a 4-hour or so job, so I have a quiet morning. maybe i'll cook myself a nice breakfast, and then settle in for some reading. i'm working on crocheting a lapghan for my bil but ran out of the yarn i'm using so am waiting for what i ordered to get here before i can finish it.

while i was at my sister's house, i was watching old episodes of 8 is enough, i used to love that show. she has some streaming service that it's on, i can't remember which one.

I was a big fan too. I think almost any show with lots of siblings. When my brother got engaged (like 40 years ago!), i blurted out, "i always wanted a little sister!" Boy did she shoot eye daggers at me! She was one of 6 sisters and was NOT interested in more! I wasnt even aware of feeling that way, tbh.

Art are you still keeping up with the tarot journaling? How are you finding it now? How is the Hawaii fund going?

I was raised very religiously, but feel a lot less angst looking into that now.

I had a session with Fin a week ago which went really well, but I don't think I am ready to go back right nowI feel different still tired, but I've also finally managed to stop hating myself.

I didn't do any writing while I was out of town actually... even though I brought my laptop and had planned to. I've been back home for a few days but I have done only a little writing, none using a tarot deck. But I do want to get back to it! I'm taking a poetry workshop that starts Tuesday as well.

just saw the addition to your post. i'm glad the session with Fin went so well. I hope that you are giving yourself grace to take all the time you need before and/or if you decide to go back. And am also glad to hear that you've stopped hating yourself.

re: the hawaii fund - I think I'm going to be putting it instead toward a trip to Germany to visit my brother as he's on his way there now for his last 3-year (I think?) army assignment. But that's fine with me, because Germany is another place I have always wanted to go as I am part German (my favorite grandma's parents I think were born there. either her parents or her grandparents can't remember rn).

My neighbors are having a bad week. First his mother, then her father, ended up in the hospital. They’ll both be fine and should be released soon.

But what’s flummoxing me is that both neighbors are a good 15-20 years older than me. How do they still have living parents? Both of mine were gone before I was 45.

I guess I’m feeling orphaned.

That does seem very young to have lost your parents. Did they have their children later in life?

Not at all. Between age 30-35.

That IS older for a woman. They used to call it a geriatric pregnancy. Then women got mad at being called old and they had to stop.

So many feelings today, and the difficult day isn't even here yet.

35 is considered geriatric, I think, or whatever term is used now. More tests and more closely monitored. I had D at 34, so I just missed the cutoff for that.

Hugs, Lost. Take it easy on yourself this week.

Finally got a negative Covid antigen test today (I know you Brits have a different name for them but forget what it is), on Day 9 after testing positive (I've felt totally fine since Tuesday). I feel like I can finally stop masking around the house now. And also see Dr. T in person tomorrow. He said Friday that he was fine with my coming in tomorrow if I was still testing positive, as it would be Day 10, but I felt a bit uncertain about it. (I guess I could have gone and worn a mask.)

I also feel better about meeting my parents outside for an early dinner today. They seemed fine with it either way, and outside is pretty low-risk. But I was a little unsure, and everything I found online has seemed so mixed regarding whether someone is still contagious if they're testing positive 9 or 10 days out.

I may take another tomorrow morning just to be safe...