[Christina86]

Therapy with my T was ended today.

I was a complete basketcase, and he was calm. Which upset me to no end, because I was expecting him to be upset - which I know rationally wouldn't happen.

Told him things weren't working out... he gave me permission to come back if I wanted to, or to see someone else.

I'm supposed to work on 'self-acceptance' instead of trying to change myself to make everyone else happy. Which is the point where I'm at, and what I was trying to do...

This should make me a lot more upset than it is. Or maybe this was over a month ago, and I held on too long.

Maybe I should drop out of my psychotherapy group too and stop the AD's. But we'll see.

[Rio_]

(((Christina))) Sorry you had to end therapy. My therapist was calm when he ended it with me, too...it did hurt, but I guess it's a good thing - they wouldn't want people feeling guilty for leaving. Are you going to be able to see anyone else to work on self-acceptance?

I reckon that if the psychotherapy group and the anti-depressants are working for you, then you should stick with them - but it's up to you.

[Perna]

{{{Christina}}}

sometimes i think they are calm b/c they have been warned not to use their emotions, whether anger, sadness, frustration, to keep you in therapy. The downside to that is that you never know if they care. I remember once thinking that if its that easy to let me leave she doesnt care about me at all... but i dontthink that was the case. She was giving me rom to make decisions for myself.

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((Christina)))))))))))

I can tell how much you are hurting from this Leaving any major relationship is hard, and this isn't any easier.

Do you remember last year I left my first T? Well up until this semester I would always try and avoid seeing her at counselling services, and was just always worried because i thought it was "rude" of me to leave her, etc etc. Well, she's running the Mindfulness group that I'm in. And after the first session i went up to her and told her that i was sorry for leaving things how they were last year, that i felt bad, etc... and she was TOTALLY supportive. She wasn't mad at me or anything. In fact, she was so happy to see me there with the group, and just said she was glad I was able to find other ways to try and help myself.

So... maybe you're T wasn't as "upset" as you'd like. But I imagine, like my T, your T just wants you to find what works for you. We have to remember that this, therapy, is their job... and if they were to act anything other than professional about termination.. then they wouldn't really be donig their job would they? I know it hurts because he means a lot to you... but i'm sure you meant something to him as well.

Please keep going to your groups and taking the AD's... just because your therapy (with him) is over, doesn't mean other things can't continue to help you get through. Not all is lost here... and the more you keep pushing yourself away from the right help, you're only going to become more lost.

Please try and take good care of yourself k? And keep up with the group and AD's.... that is a form of self-care.

Gentle hugs,
Jacq

[lenjan]

((((((Christina))))))) at least you had the courage to end what wasn't working for you. I just keep canceling every other appointment, when what I really need is to say "you know, this isn't working, and it hasn't ever worked" and try something or someone else. I did manage to fire my pdoc and find another one, but it's harder with T's because you spend a lot more time with them.

Take care of yourself -- holler if you need me.

Love, Candy

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Christina )))))))))))))))