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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,763
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Jan 06, 2024 at 04:17 PM
#181
Thank you for comment Una.
I'll send you a PM. 
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 unaluna
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 unaluna
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,866
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Jan 06, 2024 at 05:43 PM
#182
Dear T,
Thanks for that--it was worth waiting for. Love, LT |
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| Elio
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,763
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Jan 06, 2024 at 06:46 PM
#183
I'm grateful:
Possible trigger:
2.Friends 3.That I could afford to eat today. 4.Clean water. 5.Electricity. __________________
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| Elio, LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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unaluna
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,323
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Jan 06, 2024 at 07:50 PM
#184
I might just have to bring my drum next week...
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| Elio, Lemoncake, unaluna
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LonesomeTonight
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,556
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Jan 07, 2024 at 04:44 PM
#185
Sometimes I just want to scream because its this time of year and I'm thinking of her.
Its so loud and incredibly close. __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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| Elio, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight
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...............
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: in my head
Posts: 2,912
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Jan 08, 2024 at 01:04 PM
#186
Dr. S. - 2 more days and you hit a deadline, if you don't act on it. You still come up on my insurance as being available and taking new clients. I know you are not there anymore or at least not practicing there.
5.5 weeks since last email contact. 3+change months since I last saw you or heard your voice. I am so angry with you - hate comes to mind. These are still thoughts not feelings. Because I still think it was all my fault. All meaning this pain, letting myself connect, sitting back and waiting for life to return to "normal", not pushing through my walls when I had you here. I wonder if I should email you and see if there is a way to ease this suffering. I am sure there is, it probably just isn't what I want. It probably doesn't include you. |
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| LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,866
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Jan 08, 2024 at 04:35 PM
#187
Dear T,
Would you just prefer that I go elsewhere? You were just weird today. Maybe you thought you were reassuring me with some of that, but it really didn't help. So much for helping me feel "safer" and "less shamed." Love (despite all that), LT Last edited by LonesomeTonight; Jan 08, 2024 at 05:45 PM.. |
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| Elio
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,866
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given
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Jan 08, 2024 at 07:55 PM
#188
Dear T,
I'm sure no other times will be available, and now schools will close early because of a rainstorm, so I'll have to cancel the extra session. Damn it. I just feel really bad about our relationship now and could do to feel better...I hope you might possibly end up with another option (or maybe her schools won't close, despite other ones doing so?) Love, LT |
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| Elio
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Writing my way through...
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: In the desert
Posts: 7,323
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Jan 08, 2024 at 08:12 PM
#189
Looking forward to Friday.
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| Elio, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,866
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
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Jan 08, 2024 at 09:07 PM
#190
Dear T,
Trying 988 instead of you. I imagine you'd be relieved to hear that. LT ETA: They're probably thinking, "FFS, suck it up, woman." I just want to talk to you... |
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| Elio
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 901
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Jan 08, 2024 at 11:53 PM
#191
Even when you don't meet my needs, you're still the best!
__________________  https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite/blogWinners are losers who got up and gave it one more try. - Dennis DeYoung "It is possible to turn poison into medicine." ~ Tina Turner Remember we're all in this alone. ~ Lily Tomlin |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,556
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Jan 09, 2024 at 10:10 AM
#192
My endocronlogist and my primary doctor want me to lose weight. My pdoc is in the process of taking me off some meds to help me out with my weight. He was even willing to prescribe me Wegovy.
I'm starting to think you not wanting me to lose weight and all your health at any size talk is a you problem. Possibly based on your own insecuirtys. My mom says you shouldn't be contradicting my doctors. __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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| Elio, LonesomeTonight
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,866
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
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Jan 09, 2024 at 10:44 AM
#193
Dear T,
That helped some, thank you. Also, I appreciate that you seemed to be taking my current emotional state seriously. And that you acknowledged I hadn't been in this place for a long time. I'm also glad you actually said (unprompted) the words, "You're important to me." Sorry if I had a bit of a death grip on your hand when I was leaving. You seemed to squeeze my hand extra tightly to begin with, which I appreciate. I just didn't want to have to let go. Please be safe in the rain and wind. Love you, LT |
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| Elio
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 901
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Jan 09, 2024 at 01:02 PM
#194
We sometimes get to an impasse, but we always talk through it, and get right over to the other side! Now I dropped a big past trauma that we've never discussed - well, you just found out about it - I'm wondering what our next steps will be...
__________________ https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite/blogWinners are losers who got up and gave it one more try. - Dennis DeYoung "It is possible to turn poison into medicine." ~ Tina Turner Remember we're all in this alone. ~ Lily Tomlin |
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| Elio
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,831
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Jan 09, 2024 at 07:01 PM
#195
How do I make peace with this knowledge that I did not want?
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| Elio, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,866
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
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Jan 09, 2024 at 07:21 PM
#196
Dear T,
H is finally home. I was pretty stressed with no updates from his dad for a long time, but I managed. And the surgery took longer than I'd expected. Apparently, it was quite the hernia. Had we not gone through all this drama about it, I'd shoot you an email to update, but no way I'm doing that now! (I do miss you and wish we could talk for a few minutes.) I'd like to think you're wondering about how he did, but you're probably just living your life. Love you, LT |
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| AnaWhitney, Elio, ScarletPimpernel
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,866
(SuperPoster!)
9 75.1k hugs
given
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Jan 10, 2024 at 11:39 AM
#197
Dear T
Coping much less well today. But I don't want to email, plus I doubt you'd reply till tomorrow anyway, and I'll be seeing you at noon, so... I realized that I didn't want you to want an update on how H is doing--I wanted you to want an update on how *I'm* doing, like how I'm managing it all. I hope that will make sense to you when I explain it. And that you'll show some warmth (well, your level of warmth!). Love, LT Last edited by LonesomeTonight; Jan 10, 2024 at 02:15 PM.. Reason: Fixed typo |
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 901
8 296 hugs
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Jan 10, 2024 at 09:03 PM
#198
I know I'm not supposed to, but I do worry about you sometimes. You're going somewhere for several days, somewhere that makes you inaccessible. You've never done this before. When you talked about it, you didn't look happy. You seemed down and concerned. I hope your "trip" is something good, but I feel like it is not. Sending positive vibes across the Universe to you.
__________________ https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite/blogWinners are losers who got up and gave it one more try. - Dennis DeYoung "It is possible to turn poison into medicine." ~ Tina Turner Remember we're all in this alone. ~ Lily Tomlin |
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| Elio, LonesomeTonight
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,831
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Jan 11, 2024 at 12:11 PM
#199
**** magical thinking...
Possible trigger:
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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| Elio, LonesomeTonight
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,763
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7 10.2k hugs
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Jan 11, 2024 at 06:09 PM
#200
I've been happier today, but have also been feeling more anxious at the same time given everything that's been going on in the world and with my youngest sister.
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