[MissCharlotte]

Just came from T. It was a very short session because I hit some unexpected traffic and was 15 minutes late. I was telling him about some anger I held toward my son and husband and said I was still angry with him too so I may as well throw him on the pile. He smiled, accepted this and so did I. We were able to continue despite this knowledge and I realized that I can be angry with him and receive his warmth a the same time. All of the fear and anxiety I have been holding about the therapeutic relationship melted away.

It was a productive session with me able to get rid of some schtuff I've been carrying and T sprinkling insights and interpretations. When the session was over I commented that it was too short. T said, "Well at least we didn't get into trouble." (a joking reference to our struggles of late). I said that would be hard in 30 minutes and he said he thought we could manage to do a fine job of it! I love when he says we. (sigh)

I feel safe again and protected. Whew. I hope it lasts a while before the next battle. I can't take much more of this roller coaster ride.

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sister said:
I love when he says we. (sigh)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Ahhhh, that sounds wonderful. I'm glad the "we" is back!

[Mouse_]

((sister)) Yes the roller coaster! but you see how it all ended? you arrived safely.

[lauren_helene]

That is good news Sister! This was a long ride but you waded through it!

[MissCharlotte]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all your support as I've whined nearly continuously for the past month. There was one day when I thought we were okay, but the repair required much more effort. I have realized that repair is a continual process. It's like healing--definitely not linear. It has been quite a ride.

It's amazing that about 10 days ago I thought the relationship was irreparable and there have been moments recently when I've truly been worried about myself/losing myself in the turmoil.

During the process I became keenly aware of how all of this plays out in other relationships in my life. So, the import is not only to recognize the childhood influence but to also see where I am bringing this stuff into my current relationships.

That's how I am using the therapeutic relationship.

[image][/image]

[chaotic13]

I can totally relate to your last post. Seems like all of my interaction at the present time are in turmoil. I guess that's because I'm in turmoil. My last therapy session really sucked, but I guess you have to learn what you can from both the good and bad exchanges. Nice to hear that the fear and anxiety can actually melt away at some points.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I feel safe again and protected

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sister,
Good! You deserve to feel safe and protected!

I often feel like your posts mirror things that are going on with me. Thank you for sharing - it helps me get another perspective on what is happening!

[lauren_helene]

I can so relate to what you are saying Sister. I'm glad you didn't hide your feelings from him that is what leads to repair!