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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2020
Location: Uk
Posts: 563
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#1
I was wondering what you guys think. I saw lots of therapists that were no help at all, until I found the current one.
My partner has seen a few. Today his T said at the end of the session, she didn't think he needed anymore therapy. He was upset by that, but didn't challenge it. She also had a hypo in session. He saw one before and she frequently just didn't turn up for his sessions, or cancelled them. He saw a man once and he wanted him to to drumming sounds and weird vocal noises. He wasn't into it. Don't know how to convince him to keep trying, most of them seem so bad. How can you tell which ones will be good?? |
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Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 8,733
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#2
I've seen a total of 12 therapists in my life. 5 we're awesome, 5 were horrible, 1 I didn't get a chance to know (my first therapist at 13), and 1 just wasn't the right fit (G). I don't think those are great odds... But the right therapist is still worth it imo. The healing and growth that can come from it are worth it. However, trying to explain that to someone who hasn't had that experience is difficult. And I'm not sure how to tell the difference especially right away. I know I have a general good instinct about people, but even I have ignored warning signs in hopes of it working out.
__________________ "Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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LonesomeTonight
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2023
Location: Canada
Posts: 553
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#3
Unfortunately there are people from many types of backgrounds calling themselves "therapists" which may be part of the problem. I recommend seeing only someone with a Master's degree in Counselling Psychology or a PhD in Clinical Psychology. They should list their credentials on their website.
I've seen many therapists and most were ok and a few great --but in recent years I've noticed they are getting better. I've been helped in just 3-6 sessions in recent years. I think this is because therapy itself is getting better and more specific, and therapists have more types of clinical treatments to choose from. |
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Rive.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2023
Location: Canada
Posts: 553
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#4
So I would say the opposite - most modern therapists are effective. But if you don't feel like a particular therapist is a good fit for you, it's fine to try another. These days, therapy probably shouldn't just be endless talking - a good therapist will give you information and references, exercises, and specific strategies to deal with certain situations.
Also therapy is a treatment, not a "cure" and it can take time and effort to change one's thinking. I find the results of therapy may lessen with time as I sort of forget some of the strategies, and I may need refreshers. |
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Rive.
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 21,615
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#5
So, I've some good ones and not so good ones. More good than bad, but I also figured out what I'm looking for. And I tend to have a good or bad feeling for people when I first meet them.
I think it's important to know what you're looking for, which might only happen after seeing a few and finding they're not the right fit. Your partner is likely in a better place now to figure that out, knowing what they *don't* want. I find it can help to see what they have on their profile, whether Psychology Today, their practice website, etc. But you can't really know until you talk to them. Many therapists offer a free 15-minute consultation, so maybe that's something your partner could try? And they should ask questions, about what methods they use (so, no drumming/vocal noises), whether they let the client determine when they're ready to end therapy (thinking of the one who said he didn't need more therapy), even how often they generally have to cancel sessions (and whether they are usually able to make them up). How long they generally see clients for--do they have clients they've seen for years, or do they generally do shorter-term therapy? Or email the questions, if that's an option. Talk about what they want out of therapy and what sort of approach does or doesn't help them, if they have an idea. Like do they want someone who will ask questions? Or let the client lead? Someone who will push them? Or who will let the client set the goals? Etc. |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,813
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#6
I’ve seen my share of therapists, and none of them were horrible. There were definitely some NOT for me, but I suspect for other people they might have been fine. I have never wasted time nor money continuing to see a therapist that just didn’t click pretty quickly for me.
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
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#7
I’m with Artley. Only one therapist sent alarms. But some of the rest weren’t for me. The 4 I didn’t see long term were great. They were all different but the met what I needed at the time. I no longer need therapy so don’t see one now, but they taught me the skills I needed to be on my own.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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ArtleyWilkins, Samicat
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#8
Most of the ones I've seen have, yeah. I guess it depends on where you're getting your treatment. I get state community mental health center treatment, so generally the therapists are not well trained and not treated well, and they kinda suck and don't stick around long for the most part. The private one I had was better although I was, at the time, very not ready to recover, so it didn't work out.
__________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2022
Location: Eire
Posts: 182
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#9
I think I'm bias becuse the one I found eventually was good. The few before were amateurs in the making at best. Few years book training and desire to save themselves, well That weren't going to work with me. Had some right mixed up helthcare workers in my time
Last edited by Therapy reviewed; Nov 28, 2023 at 03:30 AM.. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
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#10
I habe seen 4 therapist in my life.
1st was in college she was good but ended ber contract with thr school and did not take make insurance.. So I had to stop seeing her after only a few months. The second person was amazing. We worked well together for 10 years. It.ended after.she had a tragic accident. I saw a therpaist for one session while still seeing T of 10 years. It was awful all she did was talk about herself. I have been seeing current T for 6 years. She is amazing. She is not perfect and admits she makes mistakes sometimes but she admits it.. I am a perfectionist when it comes to myself. So her being a flawed human has helped me in so many ways. __________________ |
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LonesomeTonight
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Member
Member Since Jan 2022
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 44
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#11
I had to go through 9 that totally sucked . They were a waste of my time. Finally the last one was worth all the pain and the long long wait ( searched for over a year. ) I was about to give up trying to find someone, and Im so glad i didnt give up.
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LonesomeTonight
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Roses are falling.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 9,953
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#12
Yes I do think so.
I do like Dr Frankl, Dr Edith Egar and Dr Nicole LePera but talking to a AI chat bot and spending the money on yourself and improving your own living conditions could help better. I can personally afford to eat out more than twice a week, because I'm not helping to pay their mortgages anymore. That doesn't sound like much, but that does more than 50 magical minutes of talking about my trauma and chasing "growth" which could happen anyway with a journal. __________________ |
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Grand Member
Member Since May 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 901
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#13
I've had two talk therapists, and both were/are great! My current T has literally saved my life more than once - in a talk therapist sort of way.
__________________ https://imaginativefusion.wixsite.com/mysite/blog Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try. - Dennis DeYoung "It is possible to turn poison into medicine." ~ Tina Turner Remember we're all in this alone. ~ Lily Tomlin |
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LonesomeTonight
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