Couch 248: Curiouser and Curiouser

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 28, 2024 at 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

Good on you, Artie.

I'm fascinated by Boston Creme Pie, but it's probably not something I'd enjoy.

I find profiteroles a bit too much cream.

I'd seen the word profiteroles before but didn't know what they were. just googled, looks like a creme puff? which is pretty similar to this donut. the creme isn't as fluffy though and it's all inside the donut.

atisketatasket · Apr 28, 2024 at 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

(woowoo warning) ....or maybe, LT,you could still take it, and then bring it with you to the new office for the first couple times and sit it next to you, so it can absorb the energy of the new place, then maybe it would feel better having it at home. or in your car. or wherever. (maybe somebody already suggested that and I just missed it.)

If you do this, though, I wouldn’t take the fish out of your bag or pocket. It sounds like the sort of thing Dr T would take as manipulative or passive-aggressive if he didn’t approve the idea first. Then you would be on Rupture No. 10703.

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

And then she will be stronger at the broken places. But you can't run from love.

*opens my own chest, pokes at heart* Owwwww!

Nope, definitely not stronger at the broken places you broke.

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 28, 2024 at 05:40 PM

good point att. LT, don't listen to me. this is why I rarely give my thoughts on stuff, because I always end up being wrong.

stopdog · Apr 28, 2024 at 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

If you do this, though, I wouldn’t take the fish out of your bag or pocket. It sounds like the sort of thing Dr T would take as manipulative or passive-aggressive if he didn’t approve the idea first. Then you would be on Rupture No. 10703.

*opens my own chest, pokes at heart* Owwwww!

Nope, definitely not stronger at the broken places you broke.

you know ex-hankster is a siren - a rolling stone - the westward wind born to wander - a free bird - A pool table that rhymes with T which stands for trouble

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

good point att. LT, don't listen to me. this is why I rarely give my thoughts on stuff, because I always end up being wrong.

I don't think ATAT was criticizing you but rather the therapist and also pointing out the precarious nature of these sorts of ruptures lt and the therapist have had in the past

unaluna · Apr 28, 2024 at 06:06 PM

Somebody on facebook quoted some rather salacious lines from Penzance and i was like, say its not so!

As always, i appreciate the reference to the music man. I have a little cousin who is running away with all the leads in her middle school plays. She was Nemo!

atisketatasket · Apr 28, 2024 at 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

good point att. LT, don't listen to me. this is why I rarely give my thoughts on stuff, because I always end up being wrong.

No one said you were wrong. I think it’s a good idea. I just think based on what I know of Dr. T, he won’t like it if he isn’t asked first.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2024 at 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

I imagine if he were offering it back to you (sort of like re-gifting), it might feel more meaningful, rather than you reclaiming it for yourself. A relational process rather than a unilateral one. If the two of you were able to discuss the significance of the fish (the meaning is obviously not just about the fish itself) and what the giving, receiving, placing of the fish symbolizes then the offering it back to you could open up further work again. For example, the fish might be understood as parts of you and those parts belong with you and not others. At the moment it all sounds locked in rejection, shame, misunderstanding instead of being able to explore what's happening relationally and in your process. He seems to be thinking of it all very literally.

Yes, that's a good explanation. That it would feel different if he were offering it back to me. I do think the issue right now is how it feels unilateral. Like I have no agency. I already feel that way with the move, so this is another level of that.

And yes, it seems he's thinking of it literally, like "object to put in the office." I'm hoping that in talking to R, I can get a better understanding of what it's about for me that I can then relay to Dr. T. Not that it will necessarily change how he feels about it. Like, maybe he'd still say, "I get to decide what's in my new office." But if he could at least understand and maybe, possibly empathize, that would help.

And if it seemed like he understood, then he said, "Would you like to take it back?" it would feel different, better.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2024 at 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Sometimes, y'all, H really surprises me. I've been pretty crampy since my procedure on Friday and asked him to go get me some ibuprofen this morning cuz tylenol doesn't help. He came back with both that and these little gourmet boston creme pie donuts. omg. i know i'm not eating sugar right now but I agree with him, that i deserve one of these after Friday's appointment. It tastes soooooooo good!! It's pretty small so I hope it doesn't get me craving sugar again. Even if it does, it'll be worth it!!!

I'm glad he stepped up, Artie! Sorry you've felt crampy and hope you feel better soon. Have you gotten any results?

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2024 at 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

(woowoo warning) ....or maybe, LT,you could still take it, and then bring it with you to the new office for the first couple times and sit it next to you, so it can absorb the energy of the new place, then maybe it would feel better having it at home. or in your car. or wherever. (maybe somebody already suggested that and I just missed it.)

I know you later pulled this back, but I do think it's a good suggestion. I think I'd want to talk to him about it first. Which I think is what others were suggesting, like not just to do it in front of him, in case he had a negative/weird reaction.

stopdog · Apr 28, 2024 at 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Yes, that's a good explanation. That it would feel different if he were offering it back to me. I do think the issue right now is how it feels unilateral. Like I have no agency. I already feel that way with the move, so this is another level of that.

But you do have agency - ask for it back.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2024 at 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

But you do have agency - ask for it back.

I know, but I don't really want it back. I want him to find a place for it. Or, if he can't, to say he's sorry about that, then offer it back.

atisketatasket · Apr 28, 2024 at 07:55 PM

So I’m feeling stupidly troubled about something. I still see Visa about once a month, last time was 10 days ago,. She warned me she might be on my campus a couple times in the next few weeks (her kids go here), and if we passed each other, I could deal with it as I wished—ignore her, wave, etc.

This past Friday an encampment began on my campus. There were of course chants of multiple anti-Semitic slogans. I accidentally walked into it, not knowing it was there, and once I managed to extract myself, I texted my Jewish colleagues and friends on campus to warn them in case they didn’t want to deal with that.

Visa’s Jewish. And I remembered she might be on campus. So, I texted her too. She was indeed on campus that day, and she sent two thank-you texts back.

I feel strange about the whole thing. Clearly it was fine to warn her, but I also feel like it shifted our relationship, and I don’t like that.

LonesomeTonight · Apr 28, 2024 at 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

So I’m feeling stupidly troubled about something. I still see Visa about once a month, last time was 10 days ago,. She warned me she might be on my campus a couple times in the next few weeks (her kids go here), and if we passed each other, I could deal with it as I wished—ignore her, wave, etc.

This past Friday an encampment began on my campus. There were of course chants of multiple anti-Semitic slogans. I accidentally walked into it, not knowing it was there, and once I managed to extract myself, I texted my Jewish colleagues and friends on campus to warn them in case they didn’t want to deal with that.

Visa’s Jewish. And I remembered she might be on campus. So, I texted her too. She was indeed on campus that day, and she sent two thank-you texts back.

I feel strange about the whole thing. Clearly it was fine to warn her, but I also feel like it shifted our relationship, and I don’t like that.

This sounds complicated, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. I agree that it was fine to warn her. I can see where you feel it shifted your relationship. But at the same time, would you have warned anyone you knew that was Jewish, like a colleague, acquaintance, etc.? If so, maybe you could try to think of it that way, that you'd have warned anyone you had some sort of relationship with who could have potentially been a target of the demonstration? So, not about her being your therapist, just someone you knew walking into that?

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 28, 2024 at 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I'm glad he stepped up, Artie! Sorry you've felt crampy and hope you feel better soon. Have you gotten any results?

Thanks, feeling better this afternoon since h got the ibuprofen.

No results yet. I forgot to ask how long it would be. I just wanted outta there. Hopefully soon though.

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2024 at 12:19 PM

Re Una:

“Increasingly, the mathematics will demand the courage to face its implications.”

Ian Malcolm

(I’m in a Jurassic park phase)

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2024 at 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Thanks, feeling better this afternoon since h got the ibuprofen.

No results yet. I forgot to ask how long it would be. I just wanted outta there. Hopefully soon though.

How are you doing today Art?

ArtieTheSequal · Apr 29, 2024 at 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

How are you doing today Art?

feeling back to normal, thanks for asking!

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2024 at 12:27 PM

You acted out of concern for her well-being, but it's also understandable that you might feel discomfort . Could you bring up how you feel in your upcoming session?

Lemoncake · Apr 29, 2024 at 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

feeling back to normal, thanks for asking!

Glad to hear it Artie bean.

unaluna · Apr 29, 2024 at 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I know, but I don't really want it back. I want him to find a place for it. Or, if he can't, to say he's sorry about that, then offer it back.

Everything a person says to you, or gives you, is a gift, that person's gift of their truth.

A gift comes from the person giving it.

But you are saying that you dont want THEIR truth. You want to define their truth FOR them. Literally, figuratively, metaphorically, every which way.

He doesnt even need to be there.

Where does this come from? What is this about?

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Couch 248: Curiouser and Curiouser

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ArtieTheSequal Writing my way through... Member Since Feb 2020 Location: In the desert Posts: 7,320 (SuperPoster!) 4 5,795 hugs given	Apr 28, 2024 at 05:40 PM #83 good point att. LT, don't listen to me. this is why I rarely give my thoughts on stuff, because I always end up being wrong.
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 40,056 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.8k hugs given	Apr 28, 2024 at 06:06 PM #85 Somebody on facebook quoted some rather salacious lines from Penzance and i was like, say its not so! As always, i appreciate the reference to the music man. I have a little cousin who is running away with all the leads in her middle school plays. She was Nemo!
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Lemoncake Roses are falling. Member Since May 2017 Location: Seattle. Posts: 9,760 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Apr 29, 2024 at 12:19 PM #95 Re Una: “Increasingly, the mathematics will demand the courage to face its implications.” Ian Malcolm (I’m in a Jurassic park phase) __________________
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Lemoncake Roses are falling. Member Since May 2017 Location: Seattle. Posts: 9,760 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Apr 29, 2024 at 12:27 PM #98 You acted out of concern for her well-being, but it's also understandable that you might feel discomfort . Could you bring up how you feel in your upcoming session? __________________
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