Couch 249: The Self Care Couch

See, I hate coleslaw and any mayo-based salads, so I can't really comment on that.

I like coleslaw -both vinegar based or mayo based. I hate caraway seeds and anything anise flavored or licorice etc. My objection is not to a seed in general but to the flavor of that specific seed. I have no objection to poppy seeds other than they are useless, sesame seeds, mustard seeds, sunflower etc.
I grew up with coleslaw on bbq pork - I even have a secret bbq sauce recipe from my grandmother that is delicious on everything.

Oh. See, and i grew up on various anise-flavored foodstuffs - bread, cookies, booze.

Gee, i wonder if that influenced my psychological uh bent?

So, I've just booked a mid-week online grief support session in addition to my Sunday.
The Critic is screaming overkill, but right now I feel like I need it, considering that R has tuned out of the conversation.

The name is terrible but the recipes are doable. Thanks for the recommendation. I’m going to the grocery store today after work.

I don't like anise and the likes normally, but in small quantities I can take it when I expect it.

Somebody asked about shrooms, I'll just say the high is very different from weed, if you can take it with someone you trust that sounds good, and research tripping in general beforehand.

Saw Dr. T (virtually) today instead of tomorrow. I was afraid it would be a mistake, but it was actually a really good session, with lots of discussion about what had happened last week and the move in general. It felt like he was really listening and understanding and that he was trying to connect with me, to mend things. A big part is that he was taking more responsibility for the messiness of the move and acknowledging how difficult it was for me.

He said it's the most extended difficult period I've had with him, which was validating. He mentioned "the 'I love you' stuff" but said that was more resolved off and on over a stretch of time, which is true. The move has been like 2+ months of unrelenting messiness. And, as he pointed out, I haven't even been in the new office yet. I intend to go in person Friday, when I'll be back from the beach. I said I'd had a bit of exposure therapy, from seeing it in the background.

And I'm pretty sure the fish was sitting on a table to his right. It even seemed like he shifted his camera so that it was more in view. I guess I should have commented on it, but I was only 95% sure, due to how the light was reflecting and the angle, and if I was wrong, I'd have felt really awkward.

I feel considerably better about things. I mean, I said I still wasn't entirely sure how things are going to go, that it would take time for me to feel safe working with him again (he understood and said there's lots to unpack). So it's not like we're riding off into the therapy sunset. But at least it's a step in the right direction.

I'm so glad you were able to talk it through with him, LT.

It's OK if it takes you a while to get back on an even keel.
I know it's going to take a while for me to get back to a good place with R.

It's courageous of you to have that conversation virtually, although I wonder whether that might have made it easier in some ways?

Thanks, Lost. I do think virtual made it easier in a way? Even though last week's big conflict (and yesterday's so-so session that was mostly about diagnoses) was also virtual. I wasn't expecting us to have the conversation we did--I intended to just alert him that I'm not OK with all the stuff from last week, that I wanted to talk about it in the future, but probably not today. But then the way he responded to that, it just made sense to keep going.

I hope it doesn't take you that long to get back to an even keel with R. When is she back to start the virtual sessions?


And it's good you're getting midweek support, too. I hope it helps.

Thanks LT,

'We're on a path, may as well keep going' is how a lot of my sessions work if I haven't prepared notes.

R is back for virtual starting on the 15th. During this time, I will try not to judge myself for seeking extra support.

I regret posting about the significance of today in the steward forum on the Alliance of Hope site, but I can't go back now.

I thought that forum would be safer, because it's a private area.

I still managed to say just enough to make myself nervous, without actually relieving anything.

Please try not to judge yourself, Lost. You deserve any support that you feel you need. I hope it's helpful.

Not dinners, but dump cake is a useful recipe.

It’s not overkill. Sometimes we already know what we need. It makes sense to have more support whilst R is not as available.

I’m reading an old book I loved when I was 13.
Not highbrow fiction. It’s from the Alex rider series- Storm breaker. It’s about a 14 year old getting recruited by MI5.

Anthony Horowitz is a great writer!

I enjoyed those books too.

Fun fact: he also collects automata (models with moving parts)

Couch Workout Club day 9

Got my steps in through running some errands and attending my art class.

Guess I can do a Couch Workout Club post:
3/4 mile walk (round trip) from condo to beach the past 3 days--partly walking on sand, so extra challenging!

ETA: 1.2 km for those using the metric system

Heading home tomorrow.

Sand is my nemesis, LT...well done!

I'd love to be able to paddle in the sea, but the feeling of the sand moving is too much for me.

Balance problems suck.

Ah, I failed the Couch workout. No gym today. Had to shop for new teaching clothes. There is nothing I hate more than shopping for any leng5h of time, so I rewarded myself with a day off. Still walked a lot, it was just shopping pace.

You got your steps in, ATAT...that counts!

What’s considered teacher clothes? I thought the profession became more casual over the years. Are jeans not allowed?

The university where I teach does not dictate a dress code but in my area - we are somewhat more formal - jeans are not usually worn except by young male profs who are being cool. Women are still expected by admin and students to dress more formally but there are men in my dept who will wear suits on days they teach. Business casual is the general way most of us dress to teach at my uni.

Couch Workout Club day 10

Three sets of core workout exercises, but poor control of urge to use food.

Funny the topic of teacher dress code just came up, since I just had my first meeting with all new teachers at my school where I'm teaching physics starting this semester. Some guy asked about dresscode, and while there is none, you're expected to look "passable". Short pants are allowed, but you have to just look professional. I am very glad about that, because I do not own more than two pairs of long pants... I even wear shorts when it snows.

It was a very lovely first meeting. Already made some friends, and it's kind of hilarious how nobody knows how to get around campus. It's an old monastery, lots of doors leading to random places, the principal showed us around and got lost. It was real fun, excited for the start of the year next week.

CNS, what a great school environment!