my T said it was ok for me to die

T and i have a plan made with the YWCA for any time i'm ready to leave,there is so much more to it then my husband,its my mother and the church, you just don't leave,i think i'm understanding T a little,i don't know

my T asked to use the card again,because she needs the $,i told her yes to go for it, see i care alot about her and her office,and in the end it won't matter who owes what anyway

Please listen to what we have all been saying.

Your T needs to be reported!

IMHO, it feels like you are trying to shock us here, and you certainly did that, if you are fearful about your T over using your Credit card STOP allowing her access to it, she is extorting money from you and putting you in danger with your spouse, when credit card bill comes how are you going to explain, this person is no ethical T, get out now

((((( silent )))))
What your t is doing is wrong on so many levels.
There has been a lot of fantastic advice offered by others in this post, but I have one question... you tell us the things your t are doing, admit you know they aren't right and they are hurting you, but then you go on to justify what she is doing...why is that?

i'm not here to shock any one,i came here to talk about my T and to try to sort it out
i am listen to what you all are saying to me,its just not that easy
i care about my T just as you all care about your T'S
sorry maybe i shouldn't have came here to talk about this
and sorry if i did wrong

why becauce i care about her,i hear all of you,but its not that easy
god its not that easy

(((((((((( silent ))))))))))
Im sorry silent if what I wrote offended you in anyway or came across as a personal attack, that is in no way what I meant to do, i just thought that maybe you could think about it.
Don't stop posting because you aren't getting the response you want or because you may disagree with what others might say.
What makes sites like PC so beneficial is that you get such a broad range of responses and advice, take from it only what you think will help.
It is no one's intention to upset you, we want to help you.
In the end, only you can enforce change, we can only advise and support you. Take care.

Ok I am sort of a drop in here but am going to serve it to you straight up. I have read a few of these posts in this chain and the posters to you are right, this T is unethical and is doing something very wrong. Although you care for her deeply, you must, for the sake of your mental health, find someone else to do therapy with. You could be right in what you have interpreted as her thoughts as you write in your subject heading. It could be that she is so screwed up herself, that she would never never want to come to light what has been going on, and therefore, made that type of statement in her own self serving interests. As I said, I am serving it straight up. I think that you are being taken advantage of. Get some real help, as soon as you can.

((((silenthill)))

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i'm not here to shock any one,i came here to talk about my T and to try to sort it out

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How can PC continue to help you, can you share?

There comes a time when action is required; I hope you are about to that point.

Please consider that your T is taking advantage of you, and that your abusive spouse may have made it easy for the T to do so. People who are abused often given in and do all they can to appease others, especially if they receive care in the process.

What keeps you from leaving your abusive relationship at home, can you tell?

You came here to share, and to sort things out...and we've been trying to help you. It isn't our job to tell anyone what to do, but there does seem to be a concensus about your situation not being healthy for you.

How can we further help you to get into a position to do good self care?

maybe there isn't any help
i can't get way

Well, it's my understanding that there are always choices, but only we can make the decision as to what to do. We're adults. There are choices.

But I really do understand how hard it is to make those decisions and feeling like there aren't any choices at the same time. There are alternatives, but sometimes it's just so hard that we decide not to take that route, either because we don't want the consequences or we don't feel strong enough or we don't feel ready, etc.

You have to decide what you are willing to do and you have to be able to live with your choice, either way.

If you decide to stay with this T, you take the consequences of what happens. Same with husband. If you decide to leave t, or just not contact her again, you have to take the consequences of that. It's up to you what you decide to do. Me too. All of us.

Good luck with your choice. Take care.

just want to thank all of you for all the advice
its now up to me
thanks again

Dear SilentHill,

I've been part of PsychCentral for a long time, but I don't post too often. I just post when I think I can add something to the discussion. I hope it's okay if I post on your thread. I hope you're still reading it.

I was in a somewhat similar situation about 15 years ago. I was in an extremely abusive situation, and it was very dangerous. My life was at risk. I was seeing a therapist, but the therapist was very unethical. The working relationship was very unhealthy and many boundaries were crossed. I didn't see a way out of anything - not the abusive relationships at home, or the counseling relationship either. What I needed to do was move away to a private location and make a new life for myself, and stay free of contact with my family. It took me awhile to get to the point of realizing how necessary that was, and that I needed to do that to protect my faith/spirituality, my mental health, my emotional wellbeing, and my very life. I honestly thought I was trapped. I won't joke with you - it was very, very hard to ultimately make those changes. But I did it, and moved away and made a new life. I fully believe that you, too, can make this sort of transition when you decide to change, if you want to do so. It may seem impossible now, but it can be done. There are people who will help you.

It was the best decision I've ever made in my life. I thank God over and over again that it all worked out. Like I said, there were hard times, but I am doing so much better now. I still have challenges, but I don't live in constant fear and terror as I did then. Especially since you have children involved, I hope you will think about making this sort of change and keeping them safe, too, in addition to yourself.

There are women's shelters and programs which will help you make a safe transition. It may seem completely impossible now, but I know it can be done, if/when you get to the point of wanting to make this sort of change. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I care about you, and want the best for you. Please take gentle care of yourself, SilentHill. You are important to us here, and we want better things for you in your life.

Take care,
ErinBear.

ErinBear thank you for shareing
i can't leave because of my kids, if i leave with my kids
i have to make sure i don't go back or they find me, if i do go back or they find me, my kids will be hurt i'm DID and some inside
are close to mother and the chruch, thats where my T comes in
she doesen't know how to stop the others from going back,its not so easy not for us

Silenthill, Thats a difficult one having parts that go against what is best for you. I hope the adult part/protector part can find enought strenght to do what needs to be done!

silenthill do you have a Pdoc who can help ?

Hi SilentHill,

I've corresponded with others who have DID, and also have made the choice to leave their families of origin. I'm sure I can only begin to imagine how complex it is to contemplate making these changes, especially when your inner ones are in conflict about making this sort of change, but I think it can be done. You may need extra help and assistance to make it work, though, given your DID diagnosis. I still think it is possible for you to make these changes when you want to do so. Is there a group in your area which helps women in abusive relationships? We have a couple of organizations like that here. They can often talk with you on the phone, even when you are only considering leaving, and help you plan on how to do so safely if you ultimately want to leave. Sometimes they can share good ideas for how to keep things safer while you are still in the relationship. If there is something like that in your area, it's worth contacting them. They can give really good advice. Their advice was very helpful to me.

Thinking of you. Please take gentle care of yourself.

Take care,
ErinBear