[MissCharlotte]

Tonight's session was amazing. Although I didn't want to go (again) of course I did. I was able to quickly get in touch with why I was grouchy all day. The minute I started talking about a family member's illness I began to cry -- the tears just sprang forth seemingly out of nowhere.

As we talked through some more -- other -- stuff I began to dissociate. I told T I was becoming ungrounded and he asked me what triggered it. I went back to the illness of this family member. Then I went to our recent rupture and an association with the loss of my father. I realized that my best years with my father were the two before he died.

As I left session I had a sense of being small and T being big. This became very real to me in the car on the way home, as did the memory of the dissociation. I had a real sense of being outside myself. But for the first time I wasn't afraid. It was uncomfortable but I was not afraid because T was with me and jumped in and started talking as soon as I told him.

As I got closer to home I called T and left a message. (It's not at all unusual, in fact typical, for me to leave a post-session message.) I told him about the awareness of the dissociation and how I was grateful that he jumped in and began to talk. And then I told him about feeling small, and how I was able to reach in and feel my father's love. I thanked him. For the first time I am aware of holding feelings of love and hate at the same time for someone (my father).

Wow.

[chaotic13]

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Miss Charlotte said:
For the first time I am aware of holding feelings of love and hate at the same time for someone (my father).

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This sounds like it was a nice. Its often difficult to feel both when one overpowers the other.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((( MissCharlotte )))))))))))))

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
MissCharlotte said:
Tonight's session was amazing. Although I didn't want to go (again) of course I did. I was able to quickly get in touch with why I was grouchy all day. The minute I started talking about a family member's illness I began to cry -- the tears just sprang forth seemingly out of nowhere.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That is a really connected session. You go and sit down with T and the tears just come, the feelings just come, the connections to your father just come. Really good stuff. It shows how strong your bond is with your T that your unconscious lets all that flow in his presence.

[Kiya]

id does sound like a good session - lots of stuff - and that it was dealt with well
((((((((( hugs ))))))))))
Yay!
but also sad that it caused you some pain.

[ECHOES]

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But for the first time I wasn't afraid. It was uncomfortable but I was not afraid because T was with me and jumped in and started talking as soon as I told him.


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You were able to hang on to some good feelings from a difficult session You kept him there with you and it felt good. I felt good reading this. You've really come a long way through your hard work, MissCharlotte!

[BalishBun]

dissociation is a cruddy thing...