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#1
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oh my.. i had an epiphany last night... i came home determined to make sense of everything that had happened this week and in session. i was so relieved things had gone ok..ok, better than ok THEY WENT FANTDOODLEYTASTIC.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> <font color="purple"> I care about you as YOU.</font> </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> but... how did this HAPPEN? Yes, T had made changes to the rules.. particularly calling and voicemails. To me, he was unclear about reassurance... and in light of how rejected i felt otherwise i couldn't make sense of it... so, just why did i come up with the worst and most painful possibility imaginable? i adore my T... he's incredible, even if he is more CBT than i would prefer. The fear of interference or loss of that relationship is more powerful than his calmness or kindness it would seem. He has been telling me for a year now that these reactions are rooted in my past. Ok, no surprises there. He has told me that what i know intellectually is overridden by these feelings and thoughts created in that history.. ok.. not a surprise, but semi-new.. last week we had talked about how i knew i was going to get upset.... after session i mean.. so i knew it was coming and it came. but last night i was able to see it differently somehow... able to step back and see it.. i could see how i had become a slave to a powerful set of feelings... i dunno.. i could just see it. omg... i had no idea it was quite like that. i am determined to do this.. to get better than this... i swear, he could ask me to chicken dance for 12hrs straight and i would try. T is the best... he knows what he is doing, he wants to help me and of course, better than best: he cares about me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
#2
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
T is the best... he knows what he is doing, he wants to help me and of course, better than best: he cares about me </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> What could be better! ![]() </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> but last night i was able to see it differently somehow... able to step back and see it.. i could see how i had become a slave to a powerful set of feelings... i dunno.. i could just see it. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> This is terrific when clarity and attunement happen ![]() |
#3
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yeah.. and scary as hell.
i have a habbit of taking on everything head-on and with a great deal of energy... and that gets me far in some cases, and burns me out in others. This is so big i dont know where to start.. i just feel like i need to be doing *something* now to address it.. but what? (like right now, today now) |
#4
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Sounds like an AHA moment~
Thanks for sharing it. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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#5
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#6
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That's awesome FLUFF! Very cool - and like you said, all that past history stuff overrides the intellectual. But you SAW it and that changes everything!
(((((((((((fluff!!!!!!!!!!))))))))))))) ![]() ![]()
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. ![]() ![]() |
#7
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yes yes yes!! thats it exactly... i can SEE it!!!!!!
ah, but who cares? T DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!! i totally adore him. ![]() ![]() thanks guys ![]() |
#8
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That's great!
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#9
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Yeah, Fluff, I think it's great too. Those aha moments are important.
(((((((((((((((fluff!))))))))))))))
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. ![]() ![]() |
#10
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I'm so happy for you!!!
transformations and love, nightbird ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. - Walt Whitman |
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