Back when I was....

in the psych hosp in March..the first lady I met was this gal with a 'I Know it all' look....we'll call her 'judy'

judy was in charge of looking through all of my things and performing the search on me...yuck.

after i went to bed and i could not contract for no si she said shed be sitting there all night. it made me really nervous her sitting beside my bed staring at me. i did not sleep. at one point i remember doing my zoning out fuzzy feeling thing and when she came over to me...sh pulled down my cover and i had scratched my arm and was bleeding. she jerked my hand down. 'did u just do this???' 'if i ever caught my daughter doing something like that i would kick her *****!!!!!!'

she reported to the nurse, who was a male that night. *sigh* incident report, his sighing and a big ol bandaid later and im left with judy again. im not allowed to put my hands under the covers. they must stay in her sight which means i cant even roll over. shes uses this time to tell me i need to grow up. the things i do are for babies and i am an adult...'time to act like one'.

she also told me ALL about how she had worked that unit for 3 years with no si reports until now. 'but u dont even care do you? do you?'

so with all this suckiness i kept zoning out...creepy. one time i looked up and instead of her the guy was sitting in front of me, eyes locked and not moving his direction not once from me. at least she was doing puzzles... it made me nervous so i asked 'dont u guy get tired of staring at people?' well mr smarty says 'we usually dont HAVE to'. he made me so nervous. when 'judy' came back i told her and after that she made him sit in thr hall.

i liked the place ok, but if i saw these two in public...mostly 'judy'...id go off! meanie.

(((((((Hallie)))))))))

Just try to do your hardest not to si. I'm trying my hardest not to drink. So i kinda know what its like to stop doing something that hurts you. Lets try and do this together. Your a much stronger person than you think you are. You've helped me in so many ways. I want to help you.

love ya sweetie
chalmette