[MissCharlotte]

Here I am preparing for therapy tomorrow. It's funny because I can remember when I was first seeing T--or at least the first 8 months or so--I used to completely freak out about sessions.

I never thought I had to prepare and just sort of let the mood take me. Now I have things I like to share with him--poetry I have written, pictures I have drawn--I come prepared to pick up the thread of my therapy. I guess in the beginning we were weaving the thread. Now, it's holding us together.

I do still get mild anxiety before therapy and I'm trying to sort that out. It's situational--depending on what we're working on and which part of me is in the driver's seat.

OMG NOW I REMEMBER WHY--ON the phone on Friday I told him about that dream I had where he called me (yeah, that will never happen) and told me that he would be hugging me occasionally if that was okay with me. Of course I had to tell this on the phone, but now I have to face him.


So I've decided to propose tomorrow. I will tell him that despite the recent spate of ruptures, that we must elope. We can go to the Justice of the Peace around the corner. Oh, wait a minute, we're both married already. Dang.

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MissCharlotte said:

So I've decided to propose tomorrow. I will tell him that despite the recent spate of ruptures, that we must elope. We can go to the Justice of the Peace around the corner. Oh, wait a minute, we're both married already. Dang.

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iI agree, MissCharlotte, that a marriage proposal would be the best course of action. It is practical, ethical, and most of all, it is what will make you happy.

However, if you see the fact that the both of you are already married as a potential barrier to the situation, I would suggest that you go in there strong, proud of yourself for sharing that dream with him over the phone, and continue to process with him in session.

xoxoxox good luck tomorrow. You can be assured that I will slumped over the chair in my session.

[MissCharlotte]

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that I will slumped over the chair

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Why will you be slumped? Is it a ruse so that he will perform a heimlich maneuver? And then when he gets his arms around you -- you can turn around and kiss him on the smacker?

Okay, that's it! I will slump over the assprint and wait for T to hug me.

[chaotic13]

I hope when he comes to your rescue he is dress in black.

Miss C. Don't fret about telling your T about your dream. Having a dream about wanting someone to reach out and hug you doesn't sound so bad to me.

nah... forget the proposal.. good torrid therapy is far better anyway. Poorly hide your emotional attachment like i do... through the bringing of cookies and other assorted homemade goodies.

i shall live vicariously through the therapy of others such as yourself for the next week... please crank up the T glow aspects. Thank you.

[ECHOES]

...to have and to hold.. in rupture and repair

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but now I have to face him.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> ... wear a veil?

This is so cute, MissCharlotte--

Where will you be honeymooning?!

[MissCharlotte]

OMG OMG OMG HE SAID YES!!!!!!!!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Where will you be honeymooning?! [/quote

Apparently Echoes, we will be honeymooning in his office. Check this out:

I got to therapy and as I walked into the room I noticed a rainbow. I go, "Look T, a rainbow!" We both stood looking a the window and then sat down and I look again and said, "OMG LOOK T, IT'S A DOUBLE." AND we both got up and looked for a minute as the double rainbow showed its beautiful self and the original was as defined a rainbow as I've ever seen. It doesn't get better than this --oh no it definitely doesn't.

So, Jello, I gues next week, it's back to good ole torrid therapy.

PS, After the excitement of the rainbows, we both sit down and he looks at me and says:

"Okay, we're having too much fun. What are we avoiding?"

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It doesn't get better than this --oh no it definitely doesn't

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oh you know that it does... i mean, lovely moment, yes.. but nothing tops that moment of "I do"...

miss, i am curious.. maybe you said this once and i missed it.. or maybe before i came here (i joined a year ago but wasnt really coming here until late fall).. but have you ever asked T directly if he cared? Or has he just said so without you asking (so much more torrid)?

please explain in all dripping details.

still living vicariously,
fluff

[chaotic13]

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MissCharlotte's T said:

"Okay, we're having too much fun. What are we avoiding?"

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OMG, this line is classic. My T needs to put that on her stationary for me.

Echoes, veil comment cracked me up too.

[MissCharlotte]

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miss, i am curious.. maybe you said this once and i missed it.. or maybe before i came here (i joined a year ago but wasnt really coming here until late fall).. but have you ever asked T directly if he cared? Or has he just said so without you asking (so much more torrid)?

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Fluffy,

To be honest with you I don't know if I have asked him directly or if he has said so directly. It's not something I need to discuss head on because I know he cares. I remember once he said he liked me within the context of a discussion we were having.

I am confident that he cares--his behavior shows it. How? Well, he always returns my phone calls even if he's crabby about them; he always accommodates my scheduling needs; he gives me phone sessions on the weekend if I need them to stabilize myself; he is always respectful; he always begins and ends sessions on time; he knows my kids and my H and their issues and is able to contextualize my therapy with this information; he takes the time to painstakingly review these ruptures we have and to figure out how to move forward; he is willing to suspend his opinion to listen to my needs in session; he shows joy in my accomplishments and he listens to my poetry; he even looks at rainbows with me! So, yeah, he cares.



OMG This sounds like a new thread....bumping.

i hope i didnt offend you Miss... i didnt mean to imply that he didn't.. or that without the direct conversation it was any less cool.

sorry

i have incredibly difficult issues surrounding trust on the things you bring up... establishing the trust that he cares based on the ways you have done are not in my language.. i wouldn't have ever been able to do that. After 14 months i asked, straight out, because i had no ability to really build that foundation from the everyday stuff he did or said. i envy your ability to do it, that's a valuable skill.

[MissCharlotte]

Hi Fluffy,

Of course I was not offended.

And I didn't read any implications. Your post got me thinking about why I didn't feel the need to ask anything direct and well, you see my reasoning. Yes, I feel lucky that I am able to name these actions and translate them into knowing.

[Lemon]

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MissCharlotte's T said:

"Okay, we're having too much fun. What are we avoiding?"

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I really liked this comment too! Great T moment. It reminded me of when I was younger and I took private flute lessons. My teacher always said she could tell when students hadn't practiced because they'd be really chatty and wouldn't get around to playing much during the lession. I had never realized I done that, but I think I did unconsciously.