[MINIME]

your therapist has ever sighed on the phone when she is talking to u? How does it feel to u? I know that she is still the same old therapist she was before. I know my brain over reacted. I caught it. Its funny to me now. For about a day or so it threw me for a loop. I see her Monday and I will bring it up. Im going to ask her to keep sighing the whole time. I have to remember that she is sooooo human. I already wrote her and told her how it felt at first and how I processed it down. I would hate to be a therapist because you are human and you deal with such sticky relationships. Every word Every sigh Every expression is being recieved by people who are sensative to rejection and/or abandonment. I couldnt do it. IN all honesty I sigh roll my eyes tell her to shut up (gently) and she doesnt mind. HATS OFF TO THERAPISTS If I was my own therapist I would be crazy already.

[Fuzzybear]

Oh I drive therapists nuts!


Uh, seriously, good post and yes I'm the same as you

[MissCharlotte]

I'm not sure how you are reading these sighs. They can be interpreted many ways.

[ECHOES]

Well, to know what her sigh meant you'll have to ask her on Monday and see what she says, or if she even remembers doing it (my guess is she won't). Of course she'll turn it around and will want to know what it meant to you.

What is a sigh in a converasation like that, to you? What did that mean to you? If it has negative connotations to you, why do you think you are ready to perceive a sigh in that way? What fear is evoked by hearing T sigh when on the phone with her? ....So much to think about!

I think about sighs and they many things, depending on the circumstances and conversation. It might me exasperation, or feeling bothered. It might be a loving, concerned sigh. It might be a 'take a breath' sigh where the talker needs a break to do some more thinking and cosidering before replying, a kind of "let me think a moment" sigh.

You're right, she is being herself. And you're being yourself, learning about your reactions / perceptions. I admire how you are able to process things like this that can be so automatic they can just happen without much awareness on our part.

I am way too reactive to things like that, looks, tone, posture, gestures. Sometimes my T squints a bit as she's thinking and can get this really different look on her face; I used to think it was anger but have come to realize it's just her thinking and processing things herself.

[Behindthemoon]

Very likely he/she has some breathing problems when making a phone call.Or just a minor phone anxiety so he/she need to do catch the breath .its very likely and quite reasonable...

[MINIME]

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ECHOES said:

It might be a 'take a breath' sigh where the talker needs a break to do some more thinking and cosidering before replying, a kind of "let me think a moment" sigh.

Im sure this was what she was doing. I think the whole reaction I mean Im sure I reacted this way because of an experience I had with a therapist who was the group leader of the PTSD group I was in. One day she just started being really mean to me. She had been frustrated with how I reacted to stuff. I knew that but I felt safe enough with her to just do the best I could. One day she came to group and just really hurt me. She aplogized later but I learned alot from that day. The stuff I learned makes it hard to really let my gaurd down in therapy.Yes my therapist knows about this. She was there because at the time she was a student. It really sucks. This was bad timing to have to process this as I am processing so much other stuff.

[ECHOES]

I'm sorry that happened with the other T. I can see how a sigh would affect you after an experience like that.

Hopefully some new positive experiences will overlay the hurtful ones so the hurtful ones come to have less of a trigger for you

[skeksi]

I have noticed that a lot of time my T syncs his breath up with mine (probably without even realizing it). I get very tense and hold my breath, which leads to sighs on both our parts. I'm more attentive to it now, so that if I hear him sigh I take a breath.

There are so many reasons for a sigh, it's impossible to know until you ask.

[hangingon]

sighing is quite a normal thing especially when relaxed. It happens when your brian confers to your body that it needs more oxygen than your last breath brought in, therefore the bigger breath or sigh.

She may not even have realized she did it