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#1
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The negative transference the past couple of weeks has been, well, lets say, %#@&#! awful!!
Today we were talking about it, talking about lots of things, and I was talking about how I always feel I'm going to sabotage, get real angry and then T will "sack" me and T happened to say, is that why you do "that" in your online forums? and I'm telling her about a certain recovery forum I've used for yrs and how everyone always seems so over grateful and happy happy with each other and I just don't get that 24/7 gratitude thing and T suddenly blurts out "They must be on something" with that she put her hand to her mouth and looked a bit red and started laughing and about to say "sorry" and I looked at her in shock laughing and it was the first time I've seen her in that light, that slip of the tongue kind of thing and in that moment I felt reconnected again with her!! at last someone sees life like I do LOL!!
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
#2
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Mouse, that's so good you're feeling connected to T again! It's so fun so share those kinds of moments of attunement, oneness.
![]() (And I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks that perpetually joyful people are sick. lol) |
#3
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Echoes, LOL!
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
#4
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Isn't it amazing how one moment like that with T can turn things around sometimes? I'm so glad you're feeling reconnected. ![]() |
#5
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I agree, earthmama. I use to go to T so faithfully because I kept hoping there'd be a moment like that and that one little hope is what sustained me many a week.
Glad you have "your" T "back" Mouse.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
#6
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yeah, that is great :-)
i've been reading a bit... after my t talked about object relations... and i read some stuff about splitting (idealizing / devaluing) and about projective identification and the depressive position etc... and there was some stuff about idealizing being a defense against anxiety that the person might hurt, damage, kill, or pollute the 'good' object. that the rage gets split off and the 'good' object needs to remain 'all good'. feelings of anger / rage are hard. i feel so horrible after feeling those things towards my therapist. worry that i've hurt him or something. i guess it is progress when we can express some of the hurt and anger... but integrating that back into a more moderate position is hard. not sure what i'm saying really. just trying to convey some kind of understanding about the 'horrid' feelings, i guess. |
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