I'm stuffed!

(((((((((Pegasus))))))))))))) that's absolutely horrid.

Yes, it really is!

WOW! Are you sure your T isn't working in the background to help you get to where (he) thinks you should be in all this? I suggest you continue to talk with him, and if the answers don't come through as to why he's led you this way, is there any leverage (such as suggesting you will report him ?) that you can wield?

((((hugs))) Ok, you've definitely hit a big rut in your road, but all is not lost! You still have all that education, it hasn't been for nothing... I know that's how you feel, I know how frustrated you feel (I HAVE been there!)

Keep talking this through, keep finding the truth...counter the catastrophizing...manage the upset... you can do this, and you will be stronger for it...and you will be a better T for it too, as you will never do this to another!

I will continue to talk this all through with T. Especially now that I know the truth. To all T's out there, please, please be honest with your clients!

T has said that I am going through a 'transition' and to think about what the next step in therapy needs to be. Going into therapy with a big mallet seems a really good idea at the moment!

Thanks for all replies on here.

A mallet eh? My pain T just took my shovel away from me again today

Thanks for the rare laugh!

If I had known, I could have just had him give the shovel to you! (and then I'd get it back from you...keep me from buying new shovels)

I would call the Society or e-mail Lucy Horder and explain what courses you have, what job you worked, and get the real/correct scoop. I still think you just have to take the exam; everywhere I read it says degree OR exam:

http://www.bps.org.uk/careers/accred...contact-qa.cfm

I have not done any courses Perna.

I believed my T was helping me. He told me I was working as a T. We talked non-stop about the therapeutic work I was doing. We talked about reflecting on my work. We discussed everything to do with how to be effective, self-care, code of conduct. Did essays, stats, you name it, I believed we had covered everything.

I then find out what an idiot I have been. That you are supposed to go to university, you are supposed to do an undergrad, graduate, training, research.

This route is closed to me. I have two post docs, why the %#@&#! do I need to go back and do a degree?

I need to put this all behind me. I need to draw a line in the sand and say, right that's it, I'm just not capable. I'm tired and I believe I have been misled.

I think T was probably using it to lift me up and in times of distress the thought of actually being able to become a clin psy kept me going.

Now, I know the truth. Maybe T thought I was strong enough now to handle the truth. What a way to learn a lesson.

(((PEG))). I am sorry that you wre harmed in this manner. It is possible you r therapist just did not feel comfortable telling you the real course of becoming a therapist oor counselor, even though he should have from the beginning explained to you the whole picture. Maybe you can go back and take the courses needed to get your degree anyhow, and maybe you can even get your job back if you ask and admit you were having a bad day. Maybe Doc John can help with telling you what else is needed for classes to be a therapist or counselor. Take care (((PEG))). PM anytime. Soidhonia.

Thanks Soidhonia, but as I have already explained my job has already been filled by someone else. I'm gone in about a week and a half. My boss still thinks that I have made it and become a clin psy. He's happy for me! I'm totally stuffed!

I have spent 6 years studying and 2 years before that working with adults with mental health problems aswell.

It's time for me to give up. It's an unreachable goal. I need to accept that.

Hi Pegasus,

This sounds simply awful. Maybe it is a huge misunderstanding? Maybe T misread you? I don't know why you now think this avenue is closed to you. You can go back to school. I did it at quite an "old" age. I am mid-fifties and just began a teaching career. You are a caring, loving, smart person and have a lot to offer so go for it!

I'm thinking that instead of a shovel or a mallet, that T should get the heave ho out of a cannon, like this guy!

I like the pic!

T has agreed that I am stuffed!

T has apologised several times and said that there was obviously huge misunderstandings.

I am not willing to go back and do a degree. For one thing, I don't have that sort of money!

We (T and me) have agreed that we need to decide what to do next in therapy. I have lost trust in him now. He said that we both need to think about that. And I said, surely it's up to the T to repair the damage!

I don't know where to go from here.

I am sorry Pegasus that you find yourself in this place of lost trust and personal distress. You are a good person,,a wonderful counselor and trusted confident by and of this community. I'm sure these aspects of your character and skill set are apparent in your walking life too...

Communication failures are often the source of the issues you describe. Somehow the right questions weren't asked or if so the wrong answers were given. You were acting upon presumptions based upon an earlier trust...

So it seems to have two situations,,,notice I didn't say problems...I reserve that word for circumstances that primarily revolve around health and or life...without which...all situations become trivial....

One is the loss of trust with your T...I would work to clarify the process that occurred and why...Ask the right questions and don't rest until you receive answers that seem to fit the process. I have seen you work here,,,you are very capable of surfacing the Truth...I wouldn't continue this relationship in its therapeutic realm until you are comfortable with the Truth revealed.

Second,,is your future...

Information is power and as Perna has wisely advised,,,gather the facts about all the varied requirements for achieving your goal(s). Acquire them from the horses mouth. Physically visit any accredited university and sit down with a counselor and collect the specifics. There are varied ways of becoming accredited academically without attending class. Experience has tremedous worth and it's value can be tested and subsequently acknowledged.

Then get clarification on what accredidation you have earned. You speak of Post Doc work...This can and will be accredited to you in spite of any errors in process. But you will need to defend it with the same passion that allowed you to earn it...That passion has value too and will be noticed by those in any disscussions you have.

If this is what you want Peg,,you can have it...the only real obstacle is you. As I said I see your circumstance as a situation,,one with challenges but one with many options that you can advantage yourself with.

Bumps in the road,,even potholes are certainly uncomfortable,,but they build a better driver,,,for having tolerated them and then learning how to avoid them...and then passing that on...

You can be what you want to be Peg...it is in you,,,it is just a matter of how bad do you want it...

I am hugging you Peg,,though some of my words may not have been warm...please trust in that they were from my care and respect.

Lenny

if you decide to go into this and get the right qualifications you need ,look at the ucafs sites as this covers uni doing all courses,if you need the web site i will ask daughter

course do cost but you can apply for funding towards course fees they might even do course at your local collage as part of a uni course its not to late you know most of it its just doing the work to get the qualifications and while you are a student you can claim for help with the stupid council tax it all worked out how much money you got comming in to your home, if your home is rented you might even get help there

dont give up look into what you would have to do to get where you want to be

Sweet and kind (((Peg)))

I am speechless, and feel so very badly for you.....

I thank everyone for their kind replies on this thread.

You have to understand how much work I put into this, and how much I truly believed my T and therefore how hurt I feel.

I will not be taking this any further. The end of a dream that never was!

((((((((((((((((((((( pegasus ))))))))))))))))))))))

I feel sad when I read that you're "not going to take this any further"...you are such a kind, insightful, and supportive person here on the boards that I'm sure you would make a great psychologist.

Having said that, YOU know what's best for YOU. I hope after the dust settles, you are able to make the decision about all of this that's the right one for you.

I'm so sorry for the huge misunderstanding with your T. And, having your dream shot down has got to be numbing.

But, I agree with other posts that you have a talent in this area and you do not need to give up. You may be more qualified than you think, for one thing. I know things are different in the UK, but the terms clinical psychologist, therapist and counselor mean very different things in the US. A psychologist requires a doctorate, therapists require master's degrees, but many "counselors" are hired by various agencies on the basis of their personal and work experiences. "Counselors" cannot put up a sign and do therapy out of their own offices, but there are jobs.

Maybe giving this some time will allow you to see things differently. As another post reminded you, you still have the knowledge, and I think there is probably some way to put it to gainful use (and I am almost NEVER optimistic -lol).

Hope you feel better SOON!

Oh Pegasus, I'm so very sorry. What an awful shock and situation. One thing to remember that might help a tiny bit...even if you can't be a therapist, for whatever reasons, you can still be therapeutic. What you learned is with you, and you gained from that. There are many many ways to be therapeutic to others in our lives without doing therapy. I don't mean doing therapy "under the table" or with our loved ones, but rather using the skills and knowledge we gained to lift up and support those around us, to offer information when needed, etc. We can always be therapeutic.



gg

Thanks for the replies.

I have been sat here wracking my brains trying to remember all the so-called-misundersandings.

Now, I do remember having a conversation where T asked me if I'd rather be a counsellor. I said that I didn't want to be a counsellor because I could have gone off and done a course in that a long time ago. And then he asked me why I wanted to be a clinical psychologist. I gave him a long list
of reasons for this. His answer at the time was, "I'll make you T!"

This must be very upsetting. You can get through this.

So after that conversation, did you believe that your therapy sessions were training sessions?

That sounds pretty direct to me, too. You can begin counseling on your own, yes? And that will give you income and time to work on the clinical psychologist aspect of what you know.

((((((((((((((((((((((((pegasus))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so very sorry for the huge misunderstanding with your t.

BB