[iwbt]

I'm new, not really sure how I got here. I don't know what half the terms mean. But I showed up so I guess I am meant to be here.

[Kiya]

Welcome to the forums =)
kiya

[silentlyscreaming]

If someone is defined as ambivelent, it's another way of saying they are undecided, or floating between different directions.
I hope i explained that properly

[kim_johnson]

Main Entry:
am·biv·a·lence
yeah... it is often used as 'undecided'. my memory of it comes from 'girl interrupted' where the main character described herself as being 'ambivalent' thinking it meant she didn't really care either way. her psychiatrist thought that 'ambivalent' suited her perfectly - but showed her from a dictionary that rather than implying that one doesn't really care either way it implies that one is caught or torn somehow. miriam webster seems to have both sorts of implications:

Pronunciation:
\am-ˈbi-və-lən(t)s\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
International Scientific Vocabulary
Date:
1918
1: simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action
2 a: continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite) b: uncertainty as to which approach to follow

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
kim_johnson said:
Main Entry:
am·biv·a·lence
yeah... it is often used as 'undecided'. my memory of it comes from 'girl interrupted' where the main character described herself as being 'ambivalent' thinking it meant she didn't really care either way. her psychiatrist thought that 'ambivalent' suited her perfectly - but showed her from a dictionary that rather than implying that one doesn't really care either way it implies that one is caught or torn somehow. miriam webster seems to have both sorts of implications:

1: simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action
2 a: continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite) b: uncertainty as to which approach to follow

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I tend to agree wtih the dictionary's defnition rather what was portrayed in the movie-- which seems to be how most people perceive ambivalence. I believe that ambivalence includes strong feelings-- the unknown, or the indifference, I think, refers to when the person does not know which of the opposing feelings to connect with. People usually struggle quite a big with ambivalence which would pretty much negate the idea that ambivalence means to "not care."

I have given up on the idea of not caring. Even in my deepest depressions, when I have been convinced that I "don't care," there were strong feelings of guilt and worthlessness-- I wonder how I could have felt those emtions if I was truly in a state of not caring. When people go to therapy and spend a great deal of time stating that they are ambivalent and don't care, I have to question that-- if you don't give a damn either way, then why are you spending the time to talk about it at all?

[ECHOES]

When my therapist used it I thought I knew what she meant, but I was thinking of ambiguous.

Ambivalent is holding opposing feelings about the same thing or person. My friend has traits I don't like at all and when she shows them I feel like I don't like her at all. Other times I love her to death.
Or, moving away for a new exciting job... you may feel excited and looking forward to the move because the new job is a dream job you've always wanted; but at the same time, you are very sad to be leaving friends and the place you now call home.
That's ambivalence to me.

Welcome iwbt

Welcome

[sunrise]

My T used it to describe me when we were doing trauma work early in therapy. I wanted very much to share some childhood memories with him but couldn't. I wanted to but something held me back to protect me. I was torn. He said, "I respect your ambivalence," and didn't push me. I still remember that. It made me feel it was OK to be ambivalent and that with time, this would resolve.

Welcome to the psychotherapy forum at PC.

Welcome, iwbt