[kessa19]

I was making homemade salsa today with mangoes (mmm!) and I kept thinking I wish I could share it with T. I often find myself wanting to share experiences out here IRL with her and while shopping I constantly see things that I would love to get for her. My heart sometimes feels like it's going to burst because I love her so much. If I could give her anything it would be a beautiful poem that would perfectly describe how thankful I am and how important she is(too bad my poetry writing has not matured beyond third grade level) or I'd get her a piece of abstract art to add to her office decor.
I feel bad because I often feel this way away from session but when in session can rarely even muster up a thank you.

[ECHOES]

Could you tell her about how you would like to give her a gift and thinking about doing things with her? Sharing those kinds of thoughts with T can feel really good!

[MINIME]

What I like to do with my therapists is to call them the night after my appointment and tell them thanks.I also like to when they have been really behaving themselves is tocall and leave a message telling them what I appreciate most about them. For example my emdr therapist is really mellow and she loves to laugh. She also is physicially safe. Meaning she sits by me sometimes when I ask her to. She also is quick to get sarcasm. My reg therpaist has this inner light that shows in her eyes. I only have seen it one other time. SHe is very sweet. She has this inner peace that radiates out. I do this with other people to. I called DOT department of transportation to tell them how much I appreciated them having the driver assistance trucks. I emailed the supervisor of the police officer who pulled me over and told him exactly what behavior his officer displayed and how it was very professional and appreciated. I do this because I have seen the worst of human behavior and when I see something beautiful or wonderful or appreciated I want to make sure that the person knows. Its kinda like a mission. I also write my therapists letters. Its kinda a weakness for kindness so to speak but only real genuine kindness. I think telling your therapists what you appreciate about them specifically can help them grow and also can help you feel like you have given the something.

[sunrise]

I do feel I give "gifts" to my therapist. The gift of my trust. The shared gift of our relationship. The gift of my disclosures. The gift of including him in my divorce and giving him a bird's eye view of what the client goes through (he does not typically serve as both a T and divorce coach for someone). I give him the gift of me. I feel he is deeply appreciative.

There are times I disclose to him something that has no therapeutic value for me, it is only for him. It makes me feel good to do this. (So maybe it is therapeutic for me.)

[little*rhino]

i give my T gifts all the time i bake him brownies, i make him cookies but most often i bring him a singular lindt chocolate.. it's sort of our little thing. Once i gave him something that was very special to me, i won't get into the whole thing, but it was related to the Green Tara, who is a representation of the Buddha of compassion. He is so compassionate to me. i don't feel obliged to bring him gifts, there is no "need" as such.. i just enjoy it Where i come from it is tradition to give people things when receiving a service from someone like a doctor or lawyer or whatever. T delights in the things i bring and he has a wicked sweet tooth. oh.. i also like to bring two fortune cookies - and we open them and share our fortunes.

does your T disapprove of gifts? Some do i know and i understand the boundary... im just glad mine doesn't.

and btw.. anyone need to, check the general forum for an explanation of who i am, or was, rather. i had to delete my account.

peace and love

[cloudyday]

Hi

I bring my therapist gifts also. He is addicted to chocolate so every week I bring him a bag of m&ms. If I see something that has meaning and I think he would appreciate it I bring it to him. I have also given him books. There have been times when he is deeply touched with what I have brought for him. Except for the chocolate I don't bring him things very often. Nothing I give him has great monetary value, but there always must be meaning behind it. So it is fun to look for things that we can discuss that have to do with progress made.

I guess every therapist is different and how they interpert the APA or ACA code of ethics. Have you ever asked your therapist about giving gifts?

[kessa19]

I assumed I couldn't give any sort of gift--but then again I never asked either. You guys have given me some great ideas. I think I'm going to be daring and bring her something on Tuesday (chocolate never hurt anyone! ) I think I'll also be brave and tell her that I think of her when I want to share a beautiful experience. It's hard for me sometimes to share this stuff cuz I think she might not want to hear it from me. Maybe someone else, but not me.
I never really thought of the relationship/sharing/disclosing with my T as a gift. I like that idea. I know when she has shared little bits of herself with me it made me feel really special too. I think it's cool, Minime what you do. It reminds me of that movie, I think it's Pay it Forward??
What I'm going to do is prepare myself for the worst and tell myself not to get upset if she says she can't accept anything from me.

[jbug]

I bring my T gifts every so often. I made muffins once and brought her and the nurse in my office some. At Halloween I made little gift bags up for everyone that I come in contact with. At Christmas I brought a case of oranges in. If I ever find out when my T's birthday is I'll bring her something in for that. I just like to bring in something every so often to keep her guessing. My last T I was constantly bringing him in something. I'd see something that would remind me of him and I'd buy it. I found this little hairy creature that when you'd bang it down on something or you'd throw it and catch it it would make these crazy noises I knew he had to have it so I bought for him. He said his kids loved that. I found out most of the gifts I brought him he shared with his kids which made me feel like I shared in his kids lives just a little bit. I know that makes me sound kind of wierd but oh well.

Jbug

[sarahlilianne]

Last year for Christmas I gave my T a painting that I had done myself. I will never forget the look on her face when she saw it ! She was so happy with it. it makes good memories for when you feel depressed. I'm sure your T will appreciate the gift you will bring her whatever it is.
Lily

[kim_johnson]

Some therapists will - and others won't. Some may want to talk to you about what the gift signifies for you before they decide whether they are willing to accept them or not. Even if they don't accept it... I'm sure the thought is appreciated, though :-)

It never really occurred to me either, until I saw someone waiting to see a p-doc with a box of homemade cookies :-)

[kessa19]

T accepted my gift! I gave her a little tin box filled with little chocolates. The tin box is significant because a long time ago she had given me one of her tin boxes from the office to remind me she is still there between sessions. It really helped and so I wanted to show my appreciation. Still must learn proper gift giving ettiquette as I practically threw it at her and rushed out of there (yes exagerrated but not by much ) Anyway, all is good.

[chaotic13]

I haven't given my T any tangible gift. I have however given her 2 cards both with a personal thank you message from the heart. I hope these were received the way they were intended.