Okay. I took way too many pills (not a lethal overdose by any means, just enough to get me out of ME. Ugh! ME!!!!) and left a message on T's phone and told him that I wish I could fold him up and put him in my pocket and pull him out whenever I need him (like now).

I also told him that what I really want to do in session is curl up under a blanket and just BE THERE, but I feel like I should try to seem okay and so I put on an act of "I'm okay" for him whenever I can (when I'm not dissociating, etc.). I mean, there are definitely times when I am honest, and I let myself feel whatever I'm feeling - but my "Don't talk, don't feel" habit is SO INGRAINED that I fall into it without even really meaning to. Like, I almost can't help it sometimes.

I'm about to go on a vacation, so I won't see T for 11 days. I just want to play in therapy on Thursday (last session before vacation) because I want to feel safe and connected before I go. So, it's an Uno day, we already decided.

I have no idea what the point of this post is. Guess I'm just reaching out to connect with someone.

[LAS112]

((((earthmama))))

A pocket therapist would be nice

I think it's brilliant. Just think of the possibilities.

[darkrunner]

((((((((((((earthmama))))))))))))

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just enough to get me out of ME. Ugh! ME!!!!

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You are wonderful and sweet and caring person. Please don't try to get out of you again!!!



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I feel like I should try to seem okay and so I put on an act of "I'm okay" for him whenever I can

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I do this too!!! And I didn't even realize it until I read your post. I feel guilty walking in their and just dumping everything on him.

How perfect that you have something fun planned for Thursday.

sending peaceful thoughts your way....


ktgirl

[Ltr2Hermione]

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Okay. I took way too many pills (not a lethal overdose by any means, just enough to get me out of ME. Ugh! ME!!!!)

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I have so been there.... more times than I can count. I understand but can I say just please be careful?

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so I put on an act of "I'm okay" for him whenever I can

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I do this too... I think by doing this we maintain some sense of order in the midst of chaos...........

Your idea for a pocket therapist is priceless!!

My prayers are with you..
L

[MissCharlotte]

Okay.

Consider the connection complete! Enjoy the day and enjoy the vacation.

[internettie]

{{{{{earthmama}}}}}

A pocket therapist is a great idea! The closest I got to that was a friend giving me a "Grow A Therapist" (you know, put it in water and it grows lol). You wouldn't have to grow it, just stick the little guy in your pocket.

[Kiya]

Yay i'm glad you did post and connected =)

(((((((((((((((((((( LAS112 ))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((( Orange Blossom ))))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((ktgirl))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((((Ltr2Hermione)))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((( Miss C))))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((( internettie )))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((((((((( kiya )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for connecting with me.

Love the pocket therapists - especially the UNO edition! That was awesome. I needed a giggle.

I'm pretty sure I called T and told him some things I've been doing lately that he hasn't been aware of. Not sure why? I don't know if I'm asking for help or trying to scare him away. I have a feeling he's not going anywhere, so hopefully, he'll help me.

Hugs to everyone. I really needed some replies and I REALLY appreciate all of you.

I should've made an Pocket T for kiya... Armadillo Edition.

[mel4]

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Orange_Blossom said:
I should've made an Pocket T for kiya... Armadillo Edition.

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HAHAHA, that would be one furry T!

[Mouse_]

((Earthmama)) Becareful on the pill front, I;ve done damaged to my stomach from doing that.