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#1
Aug 27, 2008, 09:37 AM
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so when does one start to feel comferble with their T?
I know it's only my second session with my T but I guess I had these really unreal expectations of feeling comfterable, I usually have really unreal expections of things. I guess I'm asking this question because today I have to share my assigned journaling with her and I'm just not ready or wanting to. I have such deep issues with sharing emotions...I don't think I can do this...or maybe I'll get lucky and she'll forget. I don't know I'm just on the verge of having an anxiety attack or doing something stupid. Doesn't help I feel guilty for not getting in to see my medical doctor about medication....I could have gone last friday if I had called and hadn't been avoding the whole situation. Too much, a little voice in the back of my head is telling me to run and never look back...that little voice is saying I can still back out of this, I can still quit thearpy before it gets to far or I get to attached or something. Just so scared and sick to my stomache... Why is this so hard??? |
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#2
Aug 27, 2008, 09:44 AM
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(((((((((((((((((((((( silversparrow )))))))))))))))))))))))) I've been seeing my T twice weekly (sometimes three times) for almost a year, and I'm still learning to trust him and feel comfortable with him. There are times I feel SO secure and safe with him, and time when I'm like "who is this guy?! I need to RUN!". I think it is a process that takes some time. If you don't feel comfortable showing her your journal, you don't have to do it. You can tell her "I really don't feel comfortable showing it to you yet". She can handle that. And then she will probably take more time with you to help you feel safe, build trust, etc. It's not something that can be forced. It just takes whatever time it takes. I know that feeling of wanting to run, but that's not the answer. Just show up and do whatever you're comfortable doing. And then next week do it again. Be honest with her about how you are feeling. Go as slowly as you need to. Be gentle with yourself. It's not a race. (((((((((((((((((((((( silversparrow ))))))))))))))))))))) Let us know how your appointment goes! 
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#3
Aug 27, 2008, 09:49 AM
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((((((((((Earthmama)))))))))))
Thank you so much, I'm actually about to leave to go to thearpy so that way there is no super sprint to thearpy this time around. I never thought about telling her I'm not ready to share my assigned journaling, I just thought since she told me to journal, I had to share at her discreation...wow I have alot to learn about this whole thearpy thing. I'll try and get on one of the computers at the computer lab at school since I"m there all day to day and let everyone know how it goes.......I still feel all icky to my stomache...ugh.... |
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#4
Aug 27, 2008, 11:03 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Silversparrow said: so when does one start to feel comferble with their T? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post">It's different for everyone and can take months. Your T should give you the space to develop trust. If she isn't, ask for it. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> today I have to share my assigned journaling with her and I'm just not ready or wanting to. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post">You don't have to share your journal! Journals are very private. It's only your second session--it would be too early for most clients. So you're not unusual for feeling this way. If you shared your journal because you felt forced to and were uncomfortable about it, it might end badly. She might read and then make a comment that you took the wrong way and you would feel she hadn't really understood you or wasn't sympathetic or something awful. And then you might never want to risk that again, which could set back the development of trust a long time. Way too early to do this! Stand firm on what you're ready for. All this is part of therapy--learning what we want and need, being able to express that, learning to set boundaries. You're bumping up against all that really early. Hang in there. Good luck!
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#5
Aug 27, 2008, 11:17 AM
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(((((((((((((( silver )))))))))))))))
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#6
Aug 27, 2008, 11:20 AM
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(((((((((((Silversparrow)))))))))))))))
__________________
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http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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#7
Aug 27, 2008, 02:05 PM
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((((((((((((silver)))))))))))))))))
I've been seeing my T since June - once a week (except for 3 vacation weeks) but our meetings are usually 2 1/2 hours. I'm still not totally comfortable with him - some days are better than others. It is hard to be patient but I guess this is one of those things that really takes time. thinking about you and hope your session went well.... kt |
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#8
Aug 27, 2008, 02:43 PM
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> our meetings are usually 2 1/2 hours
Wow.
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#9
Aug 27, 2008, 03:32 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Silversparrow said: I never thought about telling her I'm not ready to share my assigned journaling, I just thought since she told me to journal, I had to share at her discreation... </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Hi Silver! I remember when I learned that I could tell people no and set boundaries. It was great to become empowered. It does wonders for you mental health. You are in control of you! Can't wait to hear how it went......
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#10
Aug 27, 2008, 04:17 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Silversparrow said: so when does one start to feel comferble with their T? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> =( give it time. After about 8 months I was comfortable with t. And this was my 5th t. The one prior took over a year. ((((((((((((((((((silver))))))))))))))))))))))) kiya
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#11
Aug 28, 2008, 09:35 AM
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Grrr...I"m so stupid. It turns out I have thearpy today not yesterday. I didn't figure that out until I sat in the building waiting for about 15 minutes and then looked at my appointment card and saw it was on the 28th not the 27th. I felt so silly, her office is in this historical building that was the city hall in the early 1900's so all the offices are connected by this big sitting area that has historical pictures and stuff and the chirophraticer that is across from her kept staring at me and then when I finally figured out today was the 27th I felt so silly sitting outside her office for so long. Now I'm all nevervous that I"m making a mistake again or that she just won't be there without warning and I'm going to look silly again and if she isnt' there I'm going to be deeply hurt but I know she will be there because that's what my appointment card says and I'm just freaking out and wanting to cry and hyperventilate but I can't because I have to drive through fog and watch for all the natural gas compaines truckers because they drive like idoits....and I have a math quiz today and now I'm just adding things because my mind is going a million miles an hour and keeps adding crap to the panic list....GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!
WHY AM I LIKE THIS????? WHY??? IF I WASN'T SO ABSENT MINDED I WOULDN'T HAVAE SCREWED UP YESTERDAY AND I HONESTLY WOULDN'T BE PANICKING LIKE THIS!! I AM SO STUPID!!!!!! 
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#12
Aug 28, 2008, 10:58 AM
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(((((((Silversparrow)))))))))))
Hun, we all make mistakes. No one is perfect, we all have most likely done the same thing. No worries. Try to keep your thoughts on getting better and feeling better-staying grounded. Take a deep breathe and relax and let us know how things went.   
__________________
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http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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#13
Aug 28, 2008, 11:15 AM
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((((((((((((((((((silver)))))))))))))))))))
Breathe! It will be ok - she will more than likely be there. I can't even tell you how many times I have messed up my T appointments. Either getting there the wrong day or the wrong time. Keep breathing, keep your head in that fog!!!
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#14
Aug 28, 2008, 11:41 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Silversparrow said: I AM SO STUPID!!!!!! </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Please don't be so hard on yourself Silver... Did you ever watch a squirrel bury a nut? They really get into it. I mean burying that nut behind the perfect bush at the perfect depth is the number one thing to do!!! Want to know something else? They never go back to it...have no idea where they buried it... It's just natures way of planting trees...and they feel busy after their little cache in the tree is filled.. We forget,,,just like the squirels and who knows what value that free time given to your therapist might have birthed... Lenny
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I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#15
Aug 28, 2008, 01:34 PM
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It's okay Silver......
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#16
Aug 29, 2008, 05:57 PM
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((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))
I'm okay, I finally got the date and time right and had thearpy on thursday. I like thearpy, it's still really akward and hard to talk to her but she understands that and I told her by our next session I would really like to show her some of my journaling that she assigned me. I'm also supposed to right a letter to my grandmother, the one I lost in the car accident, and right a response to my letter from my grandmother's point of view. I don't know why I freked like that, I'm always really hard on myself if I mess up like that. Thank you everyone for responding and caring. |
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#17
Aug 29, 2008, 07:18 PM
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Sometimes I wish my t. would give me assignments like that. I think he might understand me more and it would give me a link at home to him. It sounds to me like you are doing just fine in therapy. Hopefully you'll stop being so hard on yourself.
__________________
 
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#18
Aug 29, 2008, 09:14 PM
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((((((((((((((((((( silversparrow )))))))))))))))))))
I'm so glad you are connecting with your T.
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#19
Sep 02, 2008, 09:08 AM
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Silver I am glad that you are feeling better....
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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