Why didn't she break the rules? I needed her. *TRIGGER*

So today I went for a movie got their sit down and here comes T in I say hello. IN previous sessions I told her about how I"M ALWAYS alone in the theatre since I have no one to go with she just said Hi when she saw me...I was like....Oh my.....she's abaondoned me so I leave ( literally run out crying) get in the car and think suicidal all the way home I was so mad and still am that she didnt sit with me I mean her and her friends could have had sit with me there was plenty of room but NO she didnt break the rules...regardless if she isn't to me she is my only friend now look........its ...our connection has been broken in my eyes...not to mention I have NO friends except maybe a girl that im attracted to in college and she's in a die hard relationship......and not to mention I"m failing lots of classes in college I really think I need a support group but my area is so small I don't know if their is one.....help me please...be my friend please!

I know you are hurting from this and it will be hard to do, but please try not to take it as a personal blight. If she had sat with you, then she would most likely have had to explain or introduce you to her friends, which would have violated your confidentiality and would have put her in an awkward position. Even though you don't care about the violation, it's her job that is on the line. Please take comfort that, until you talk to her to find out her should, you should believe it was done because there are rules to follow to protect everyone, even if you don't feel like you need the protection. Also, some of the doctors I work for say they don't acknowledge or converse with their patients outside of the office because they are off duty--they don't like going to the grocery store or restaurant and having someone ask them to look at a boil on their arm or some such thing. I'm so sorry that this hurt so bad--however, I have to say Kudos to you for even being able to go to the movies alone--I wish I could do that! You are very brave for being able to do that, stand by that courage and believe that your t didn't do it to insult you.

((((((((( moonkin ))))))))))

C.S.C really said it all very well, i'm writing to say that i think she's right and that this had to be the way it was and I AM sorry you felt so badly and your movie experience was spoiled for the day. Please try to set this experience on a shelf somewhere in your mind and wait until you can speak to your T. When you feel intense feelings they can build an experience into something more than it actually was - to your own HARM. If this T has been a help to you, please do not throw it away presuming a wound where NONE was intended.

I'm here, I will listen, PM me and lets talk - or you rant and I will nod my head a lot and write back. Hugs

Leslie and the Pixies

(((((((((((((( Moonkin )))))))))))))))

((((((((( moonkin ))))))))))

We share so many intimate details of our lives with our therapists that we forget the rules exist.

I'm sorry this hurt you.
We are here for you.

(((((((((((((((((((( moonkin ))))))))))))))))))))))

I agree with what everyone else has said. This is just one of the crappy, hard parts of the therapy relationship.

I actually used to have a GREAT FEAR of running into my T in public, and I wonder if it's partly for this reason. I know that our relationship in the therapy room (and on the phone!) is real and is the truth. But I also know that is a special, sacred relationship that is for that room only....not for the real world. And I used to think it might hurt to have to really face that if I saw him in public. My view of that has changed...I am actually grateful for a lot of reasons that our relationship is the way that it is....it provides safety, and room for whatever feelings come up, and I need that.

T told me that if we ever see each other in public, he'll say "hi" if I say "hi" first, otherwise he won't acknowledge me. And then he always says "and in our next session, we'll come here and talk about it". I hope you will tell T how you felt when you see her next, so you can process it with her.

I'm sorry you don't have friends....and I'm sorry that T can't fill that spot in your life for you. That has to hurt. For me, I think that being with T in therapy is kind of like "practice" for friendships in real life.

I think a support group is a great idea, Moonkin. Maybe your T can help you find one in your area??

Sending tons of hugs your way. I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt.

Ouch, that hurts, Moonkin. But I agree, your T did the right thing. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you or is abandoning you. I think it is cool that you were both there to see the same movie. It means you have similar taste in movies!

At the college I work at, they have support groups for students that are run out of the student counseling center. Do you think your college might have those? It sounds like a good idea to me.

I rememeber when I got out of treatment, my addictions councillor said if he ever ran into us anywhere he'd pretend he didn't notice us, unless we said hello to him first, in order to protect our privacy.

And I occassionally see my T at musical concerts - we have a mutual acquintance who is a harpist, and T and I tend to go to all of her local conecerts. It's always really wierd for me, as I don't want to put T in an awkward position of having to intruduce me to her friends, but then T always tells me afterwards that she wishes I would come up to her, so she can ask me questions about the music. It also always throws me a bit when I see T outside of the context or out T sessions - don't know why but it does.

--splitimage