[Wreck]

Does anyone else's T forget the details or your life? Mine forgets the name of my partner, forgets where I work, and asks me to repeat important details of my history that I've told her before. Is this understandable given how many clients she sees, or should I expect that she'll remember the details of my life from one session to the next? I've seen her once a week for nine months, so it's not like I'm a new client.

[Lenny]

It is not unreasonable for you to expect that your T remember such detail.

I would bring this up in a session and see what she has to say.

If your not happy with her explanation,,,begin to entertain seeking a therapist that pays more attention.

IMHO.

Lenny

[cantstopcrying]

Details??? Mine forgot my flippin' name!!

[chaotic13]

My T sometime forgets (or at least say she forgets some details) some minor details. The few times this has occurred it didn't take much to jog her memory. Sometimes I think she does this just to get me to repeat things verbally to her.

BTW Cantstopcrying... I LOVE Peanut!

[sunrise]

My T sometimes forgets things about me. I sometimes forget stuff too. We're both in middle age and the memory is not as great as it used to be (understatement!). We're human. He also surprises me sometimes with how much he does remember, and it is usually the important stuff--significant events in my life, etc. If he seems to have forgotten something, I just remind him and he usually remembers immediately and we proceed. I don't take it personally, but if it was impacting my care, I would be more concerned. If it is a problem for you, Wreck, could you discuss it with your therapist? Perhaps he isn't aware he is doing it, and your conversation will encourage him to take better notes, review notes before session, etc. I did have a GP once who was growing very forgetful and I felt it was impacting her care of me. She would say she would do something, then forget, and not follow through. I was not brave enough to bring this to her attention, but did switch docs to get better care.

[winterbaby]

It's very important that your T be tuned into you and if that's not happening you might consider changing. I used to have a T that did this constantly and since then found one with a good memory or at least good notes! It's been much better and I see it really wasn't "me" before or how many clients he saw, how busy he was etc. he was just plain forgetful!! We always blame things on ourselves right or give T's the benefit of the doubt but sometimes they are just not the right ones for us.

[Sannah]

Wreck, I just read your other post. Maybe she can't remember because you aren't letting her in? With my memory, I remember more about people the closer that I get to them. If you are still 2 dimensional to her it is harder for her to remember you as a whole person?

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by Sannah

If you are still 2 dimensional to her it is harder for her to remember you as a whole person?

I don't know sannah...you would at least expect her to look at the two dimensional "check" in front of her to remember the client who is helping pay the rent...if nothing else..she is rude...

The cynical Len...

[3velniai]

I think it's really strange that your T is so forgetful. Forgetting small things seems normal to me, but this is too much, especially after 9 months of therapy. On the other hand, if you just mentioned the name of your partner (and other things) and didn’t talk about it later, well… that makes the situation a little better, but it is still really strange.

My T remembers everything, even the little things. Sometimes i even wish she would forget some of the things i said

[emilyjeanne]

My T remembers everything. She does psychodynamic therapy and writes things down. I am always disturbed by her writing on her pad but she tells me she does it to remember. I love my T.