[Bleah]

T mentioned I could consider allowing her to hold me (explained in a professional manner) because I have been missing a basic physical connection and don't have words for a lot of my feelings, etc. It sounds interesting and also scary. I don't know that I could do this with her after having spent such a long time strictly talking with several feet between us at all times. What school of therapy allows this and if I were to seek out such a therapist in my community, how would I search for this?

[searchingmysoul]

((((((((((Bleah))))))))))

I wish I knew. I hope that you are able to find the answers you are looking for.

[ECHOES]

I'm wondering how the holding would help put words to feelings. It takes time to learn how to find the words and in the meantime, it's okay to talk even though you don't (yet) have words for your feelings. Learning about feelings and learning the words for them can be learned now and in time you will be able to apply them to your experiences right in the moment as well as backwards to experiences you've already had. That said, I wish my T would hold me.

If this is the kind of therapy you want, and your T is offering that to you, I'm wondering too why you would be looking for it someplace else--or do you mean that you're curious about T's orientation and her type of therapy? Could you talk to T more about this by reminder her what she said about allowing her to hold you and that you've thought more about it and have some questions...

My T holds my hands....he is humanistic/eclectic, I think.

Just suddenly going from no touch to "holding" sounds scary to me. Is it something that you want??

[Bleah]

Originally Posted by earthmama

My T holds my hands....he is humanistic/eclectic, I think.

Just suddenly going from no touch to "holding" sounds scary to me. Is it something that you want??

It is scary in a way to me, too. But its something I'd like to consider.

[deliquesce]

i dont know of any therapist in australia who would think physical contact with a client (except maybe in the case of emdr) would be appropriate. but it sounds a lot like things are done differently in america .

[Kiya]

Wow - I have no idea. Although, I know this method is used with certain kids in a certain treatment facility where the kids are in lockdown. Sometimes they get so out of control and scare them selves. The adult therapists then hold them tightly in a bear hug until they calm down (because otherwise they are hitting and kicking the t). Have you tried Googling it?

[SpottedOwl]

((Bleah))

I would definitely talk more with your T about this -- ask what it is called, what sort of school of therapy she uses, etc. so that you can get all the information you need to make your decision.

In the past I've looked into it myself, and the best information I found is:
To Touch or Not to Touch: Exploring the Myth of Prohibition of Touch in Psychotherapy

The article references several schools of therapy than can use touch:
Body psychotherapies include schools, such as Reichain (Reich, 1972) and its numerous branches, Bioenergetics (Lowen, 1976), Somatic (Caldwell, 1997) or Hakomi (Kurtz, 1990). These approaches focus on harnessing the healing power of touch. There are numerous other psychotherapeutic orientations that have embraced touch. These orientations formalized the use of touch in therapy as an adjunct to verbal therapy. They include Gestalt therapy (Perls, 1973), several variations of humanistic psychology (Rogers, 1970) and group therapy (Edwards, 1984). They also include some parts of feminist, child, family therapy and dance and movement therapy (Smith, et. al, 1998; Satir, 1972)

It is a big article, but it is worth at least skimming. Of particular interest might be the list of 'Types of Touch in Psychotherapy', part way down the page.

What Kiya is referring to (I think) is called 'Touch Therapy', and is somewhat controversial.

Hope that helps

This is interesting as well. It's called "Protective Nurturing."

http://www.primalworks.com/protect.html

[madisgram]

many of the comments by echo i agree with....but ,jme, i don't know if i'd feel comfortable with this type of therapy since i would feel like there were mixed messages in the holding. however i must admit i am not familiar with this type of therapy. perhaps for some clients this is beneficial.

[Kiya]

if someone tried to hold me in therapy, I do believe i'd freak. @_@ I'd switch alters, and fly from the building. Each must do what is best for them, ja?

[chaotic13]

My therapist mentioned Craddle therapy one time. She was jst joking at the time, but I think it may be an actual(controversal) treatment technique.

Several sessions ago my T presented the idea of using some technique with me. Last session we talked a little bit about that and her reluctance in trying it with me. During the discussion I realized how difficult it might be to propose treatment ideas to me. I have a lot of fear about maniuplation, being controlled/influenced etc. It made me wonder how often my T wanted to do something but needed the right timing or situation to get me to accept it. Maybe your T was just mentioning this idea to see how receptive you might be to it or something similar. In my case after doing one session of some new technique my T asked me about hypnosis. I don't know if it would ever be considered useful with me, but, I think my T was just assessing what options are now available with me. A year ago the mentioning of hypnosis would have sent me out the door.

If the contact discussion comes up again, I recommend trying to keep an open mind, but discuss your concerns before committing.

[winterbaby]

Some primal therapy, attachment therapy, you could google it and see what you think. It's not for everyone and needs a very skilled practitioner (and ethical.)

[deliquesce]

i think (just my opinion) that a lot of the types of therapies being mentioned here are quite controversial still? not an attack on anyone who posted about them, just saying that some of them (e.g. attachment therapy) aren't really practiced anymore due to abuse of it in the past.

[apumic]

Originally Posted by Bleah

T mentioned I could consider allowing her to hold me (explained in a professional manner) because I have been missing a basic physical connection and don't have words for a lot of my feelings, etc. It sounds interesting and also scary. I don't know that I could do this with her after having spent such a long time strictly talking with several feet between us at all times. What school of therapy allows this and if I were to seek out such a therapist in my community, how would I search for this?

You should ask your therapist what the therapy is and how the therapy is supposed to work before agreeing to such a therapy. Unfortunately, a lot of physical "therapies" have been abused in the past. I assume this therapist is of the same gender as you? "Holding" a client feels inherently inappropriate in most therapeutic contexts (although perhaps allowable in a male-male or female-female therapist-client relationship with a client with excellent boundaries -- but I think it's fairly uncommon for someone in therapy to have healthy physical and emotional boundaries). I will place an arm around a client or otherwise touch a client in a comforting way IF (and only IF) there is a pre-established relationship AND the client has healthy physical and emotional boundaries (which is pretty uncommon if they are in therapy or in rez tx, where I work right now) AND the circumstances require that kind of comfort. "Missing a physical connection" sounds to me like a dubious symptom as it is so ambiguous and abstract that it would be difficult (or impossible) to operationalize or treat it.

[peaches100]

My t told me she doesn't hold any clients in her practice, but she will offer a hug or hand hold at times if it is needed.

In reading the above information about nurturing touch, I noticed this paragraph:

The healing environment of Protective Nurture is as much "a feeling in the air" - psychic containment, if you will - as it is a physical one. The therapist exuding this level of protection does not always have to touch or hold a client in order for the healing to work. In fact, most of the work will take place without any kind of touch, with the client deep into their feelings, being respectfully contained, witnessed and lovingly acknowledged by the therapist. Touching and holding (even hand holding or hand-on -shoulder), however, is simply a necessary human communication, and will happen at certain points when a human "contacts" and is really with another human being.
It sounds like much of the "holding" is an emotional holding that is present through the t's compassionate presence with the client. Maybe the physical touch is only used in a limited way.

[peaches100]

I think it makes a big difference whether the t and patient are the same sex or opposite sex. Actual holding between oppposite sex patient and t carries some rather large risks.

[reader1587]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

i dont know of any therapist in australia who would think physical contact with a client (except maybe in the case of emdr) would be appropriate. but it sounds a lot like things are done differently in america .

I think if anything it would be more uncommon in the U.S.--people are *obsessed* with potential lawsuits there.