[vienna]

I had a long flight the other day, after two days with my family of origin. I wrote a bunch of stuff;I had eleven hours to do it. T asked me to share it with him. I'm wondering if I should. Part of me says, why not? Part of me says, why should you?

vienna

maybe you could just share the parts you feel comfortable telling t?

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by vienna

I had a long flight the other day, after two days with my family of origin. I wrote a bunch of stuff;I had eleven hours to do it. T asked me to share it with him. I'm wondering if I should. Part of me says, why not? Part of me says, why should you?

vienna

any thoughts on why or why not? maybe one list will outbalance the other - but ifyou decide not, could you share the reasons why not with yr T?

[madisgram]

vienna, that was awesome that you wrote down your thoughts. i have always benefitted from doing just that. it sort of crystalizes how i feel.
as for your t question. i know for me it helped when i shared things with T that i had written down. but sometimes we are not comfortable sharing everything at once. how bout doing a two columned list about this feeling of conflict of whether to share or not.
one column: reasons you want to share the things you wrote. write down which things/feelings/thoughts you'd like to share if any.
second column: write down why u don't want to share something and why.
i hope this may help you in deciding what you want to do. i know it's some more writing...but i believe you may see what you want to do more clearly. it will also help you to decide what you are comfortable sharing with t right now. it may be everything!! the list may help you with this.
best of luck and keep us posted, k? we do care about you.

[vienna]

Hi,

Thanks for your replies! I did a pros and cons list about sharing what I wrote, and I ended up deciding today that I would share all but one thing. When my T asked about it today and I gave it to him, he didn't look at it, just held it out between us, midair, exactly where I had handed it to him, and said if I didn't want him to have it or wasn't ready for it I didn't have to give it to him. I told him I was nervous about it so we talked about that, and after a bit of discussion I said I was ok with him having it. I am not looking forward to the inevitable regret pattern that comes after this kind of thing, but I can remind myself that whenever I have felt this way before with him it has been fine - it has always been just my own fear biting me.

Thanks, everyone, for helping me with this.

vienna