Dissociation & Physical Comfort

For those of you who dissociate. . .

Have you ever had the experience where your therapist gave you a hug, but only the "adult" part of you could feel it?

That's what I am experiencing now. It's weird that after all this time of the child part of me wanting/needing physical comfort, now that my t will give this to me, it is only the adult side of me that can feel it. I'm glad for it, I really am. But in a way, it's sort of disappointing because the adult part of me doesn't really feel like I need connection or comfort -- it's the child part of me who does.

Why do you think this would be happening?

Maybe the child is hiding behind the adult? She'll come out once the adult does okay with this?

Maybe your T is making sure that she (he? I'm not sure if your therapist is male or female) is giving physical contact to the adult you. We strive to have our adult parts be the ones in control-- and, of course, adults need comfort, too. In my opinion, it is not a good idea for a therapist to hug someone when they are in "little kid" mode. A therapist is a therapist-- not a parent. And when we feel like little kids in therapy, we normally want some type of parental comfort-- we are not aware, or looking for, that adult connection. Perhaps your T is striving to connect to that adult part. I bet that unconsciously your adult needs (and deserves) connection and comfort, too.

I feel like I am taking a big risk here, but...

T gives me two hugs - one for one of my younger parts, and one for grown up me. The first time he did it, he asked her to come forward and know that this hug was for her. It's a different hug. I sit next to him the couch and he kind of sits next to me and hugs me. It's very comforting. I was scared the first time he did it that grown up me would just disappear and not come back and we talked about that, and just gave it a try. It felt "right".

He gives me (grown up me) a hug before I leave, when we are standing up and I am on my way out the door.

I have been doing a lot of reading about DID lately, and I know that "parenting" a younger part is controversial. I don't feel like he is "parenting" her - I feel like he is comforting her, like he would with grown up me. And I feel like it is a gift in a way...gentle, loving hugs are the opposite of what I grew up with, and giving that to that part of me feels so healing, like something I've needed my whole life.

That's what works for me and my therapy. But we all know me and my therapy is pretty "out there" lol

Peaches - can you tell the younger parts that this hug is for them? Invite them to come out and feel it?

Okay, now don't flame me