[del12]

I just need to share some feelings I am having today and I know have been building all week. I don't know if it the areas we touched on during therapy or some issues I am dealing with a friend. It could be a combination. Plus I just got off the phone with my mother and I swear she had been drinking. That little voice inside said caution! Boy do I hate it when she acts like she has been drinking. When she gets this way she starts talking like my sister is just so wonderful and oh is so busy and the poor thing. Open your eyes that is her excuse for everything. She is no busier than the rest of us who work. I get so angry and then angry with myself because I get irritated and I am not the loving excepting daughter/sister I should be. I was already feeling down and this just made it worse! Why do I have to feel things so deeply? Why can't I be one of those who just lets it roll off their back. I am sad because a friends child if very ill and I think the fact that I left therapy this week in tears (once I got out the door) because we touched on some area in my past I haven't thought about in years it has left me feeling a bit raw and vulnerable. I want to feel good and strong so bad. I know this will pass it always does but I hate it for right now. I want to cry, but the repair man is suppose to arrive any moment and of course I don't want him to see me crying. I feel a little better just getting this out. Thanks for being there.

[Lemon]

Hang in their del. I hope you are able to find some peace tonight.

[lifelesstraveled]

((((del)))))

Im sorry you are having a hard time right now. Can you do something this just for you today??? Something that you enjoy doing?(after the repairman leaves?).

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((del12))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[coconut64]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Del12)))))))))))))))))))))

I'm overwhelmed too at the moment. Please take good care of yourself

[searchingmysoul]

del12

[madisgram]

here for you, del

[hangingon]

I am overwhelmed lately as well.......I'm sorry its so hard for you right now.

hangingon

HI del,

Therapy is great for stirring up emotions, don't ya just hate it? lol Then when you add the other stuff, it does feel overwhelming. I hope you feel better, when do you see your T? Maybe the repair person will be cute! ;-) That always makes me feel better. I like the idea of doing something for yourself.
I know after a hard therapy session, I like to go to a pet store before I go home to my kids. I usually come away from the store, feeling a little bit better.

[peaches100]

(((Del12))

Therapy stirs up some tough feelings for me also. It's not always easy to put everything back into a neat little package when we leave therapy and go back to the real world. Those emotions sometimes follow us out the therapy room door and we feel them intensely! I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

I also have a sister, and as the not-favorite one, I can understand how bad it makes you feel when your parents praise your sibling but don't do the same with you. My dad got on my case one day during a family dinner, when he'd had too much to drink, and brought up several things about me that he was disappointed in (he told me it was a mistake I didn't have kids, and also called me lazy). He also said, "You should have done things the way your sister did. She did everything right."

It hurts when we feel like our parents love our sibling more, or are prouder of them than they are of us. It's human to feel hurt and angry. You said, "I am not the loving excepting daughter/sister I should be." I don't hear you being unloving. I hear you saying "I feel hurt and angry because my parents praise my sister and not the rest of us." That's a normal reaction to what feels like injustice. It doesn't make you a terrible daughter.

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed with emotion right now. You're right, IT IS hard to cope when we feel things so deeply inside. And I've often said the same thing you did here:

Why do I have to feel things so deeply? Why can't I be one of those who just lets it roll off their back. . . I want to feel good and strong so bad.

Having the trait of high sensitivity can be hard to bear sometimes, but it can be a great asset too. The fact that you're feeling sad and concerned about your child's friend shows that you are a kind, compassionate, and empathetic person. The world needs more people like you.

I hope you are feeling a little better today.

[Mouse_]

Del .

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by madisgram

here for you, del

me too Del.

[del12]

Thank you so much for all your support. It is so comforting knowing that others can relate to how I am feeling and thinking. For so long I wondered why I was so different and now well I guess I am not. I am feeling much better, but my weekend was tough, so I did as so many suggested, I did something I really enjoy and I felt so much better today.
Peaches are you sure you're not related? (Ha HA) Sound just like my father. How can one child be put on a pedestal even though they do things that are not so kind and here we are trying to live our lives the best we can and we get bombarded with you should haves and why are you more like your sibling.
THinking back to my conversation with my mom I think that I tried to reach out for some TLC and she just didn't get it. My sister doesn't keep in touch on a regular basis (I call on a regular basis) and often doesn't follow through, so when she does call and plans something my mother gets all excited like WOW isn't........just wonderful she wants to........... Boy does that make me mad and hurt. I don't hear that WOW when we plan or talk.
Thinking this way makes me think I am a spoiled brat. I guess she just doesn't get that I need some TLC sometimes and a little WOW from her.
My session is later this week and I am a bit nervous. I guess I need to talk to my T about last week. I know my T will be understanding. That's a good thing!
Thanks to you all!
The repairman was very nice , but I could have been his mother.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by del12

Thank you so much for all your support. It is so comforting knowing that others can relate to how I am feeling and thinking. For so long I wondered why I was so different and now well I guess I am not. I am feeling much better, but my weekend was tough, so I did as so many suggested, I did something I really enjoy and I felt so much better today.
Peaches are you sure you're not related? (Ha HA) Sound just like my father. How can one child be put on a pedestal even though they do things that are not so kind and here we are trying to live our lives the best we can and we get bombarded with you should haves and why are you more like your sibling.
THinking back to my conversation with my mom I think that I tried to reach out for some TLC and she just didn't get it. My sister doesn't keep in touch on a regular basis (I call on a regular basis) and often doesn't follow through, so when she does call and plans something my mother gets all excited like WOW isn't........just wonderful she wants to........... Boy does that make me mad and hurt. I don't hear that WOW when we plan or talk.
Thinking this way makes me think I am a spoiled brat. I guess she just doesn't get that I need some TLC sometimes and a little WOW from her.
My session is later this week and I am a bit nervous. I guess I need to talk to my T about last week. I know my T will be understanding. That's a good thing!
Thanks to you all!
The repairman was very nice , but I could have been his mother.

I'm glad you were able to figure out how to feel better over the weekend.....Coping strategies are necessary - and I know of NONE. Gotta start working on that....

And you know, you could teach a young repairman a thing or two!