[Kiya]

...how my T always purposely waits in the hall when she sees me at random times during the week to say hi to me and makes sure I know she is there and caring about me. Makes me feel like this relationship is authentic.

...how her 2 yoga mats are there with her name on them and I get to use them when I go to yoga - it helps me (in a transitional object sort of way) to hang on to her and to think "I am being supported (literally) by T right now. When I start to panic in yoga I can grab a hold of the corner of the mat and know she is there.

...how she sends me home with stuffies from her office (for the lil kids in the system) and how she always acknowledged Benedict the Armadillo when she sees him in my bag or I pull him out.

[mightaswelllive]

...when T curses, I feel like it's for my benefit. It seems like she really struggles to use these words - it's a funny but caring attempt to get on me to connect.

...when we mutually see the absurdity in my behavior and can share a laugh about it.

...that T sometimes throws in a story about her dog. It makes her so human, and her dog sounds like a total bad@ss.


Nice thread Kiya

[skeksi]

...how when T sees me getting scared, he makes his voice slower and even more quiet, and he moves even more slowly and deliberately so as not to scare me more.

[MissCharlotte]

I like the fact that T ALWAYS says WE......and Let's....It makes me feel soooo supported and like I am never alone.

I like T's laugh. It makes me laugh too.

I like T's disclosures (well, most of them ). It makes him real.

I like his soft voice, especially when I am rattled and feeling very young.

I like T's office. It's cozy. And I like the blanket on the couch. It's soft and T said I can hide under it if I want to.

Ohhhh I could go on and on.

Thanks Kiya

[my3sns]

... that T allows silent times every once in a while.
... her voice, and soft caring eyes
... that she is willing to hold my hands at the tough times.
... that she knows what its like
... that T is human and expresses this through personal stories.
... All the family pics in her office.

i could go on and on

[del12]

I like:

that T has a warm comfortable look and personality
that T has a comforting voice
that T shows emotion when I am upset my T shows concern not clinical and cold like my first T
that T's dog is there sleeping on the floor
that T's office is comfortable not sterile
that T doesn't push too hard or seem impatient when I close down
I like my T!

[googley]

I like
. . . that my T allows me to set the pace.
. . . that my T says she cares about me.
. . . that my T hardly ever cancels appointments.
. . . that I can call my T between appointments (even though I rarely do).
. . . that my T responds to my stuffed animal when he has opinions to share. (yes, I know he doesn't actually talk.)
. . . that my T smiles at me.
. . . that my T responds with emotion when I tell her something, showing me that it is okay to have emotions.
. . . that my T allows me to come back to myself at the end of a session before I leave even if it takes a couple extra minutes.
. . . that I know my T thinks about me between sessions when I am having a hard time.
. . . that my T makes me feel special.

...that T is so patient and consistent and gave me all the time I needed to feel safe with him
...that T listens to my opinions, and is willing to admit when he makes a mistake
...that any emotion or thought that I express is absolutely, 100% okay
...that I ask T to meet my needs, he says "that's EASY"
...that T accepts and loves me and all parts of me, and tells me that as often as I need to hear it
...that T leaves me a voice mail to hang on to after every session
...that I am learning what it feels like to be safe and loved, and that it's helping me recognize that I am safe with and loved by OTHER people too (H and my friends)
...that our relationship is real and true
...that T gave me something very dear to him as a transitional object

I could go on and on...I am so glad he will be back from vacation on Monday and we can finally reconnect!!

[deliquesce]

ooh, thank you for this thread, Kiya - great idea!

this will be things i like about pdoc:
- that he calls me "girlfriend", in a hopeless attempt to connect
- that he cares about his 2 plastic gorillas and takes them everywhere with him
- that he respects that all treatment decisions are ultimately mine, and doesn't get upset if i don't do what he suggests (take particular meds)
- that he's promised he will never break confidentiality. ever. even if he should.

[chaotic13]

-- her consistency
-- the fact that no matter how F*ed up I think I am, she seems to it as no big deal.

[jacq10]

Cool thread!

I like....
-When T truly smiles and her eyes get all crinkled up in the corners
-When she is able to "hold me" through her eye contact
-That she has known me for long enough that she is able to draw on how much progress I have made in comparison to the little girl I was when I first saw her.
-That she leads my mindfulness group so I get to see her every week!
-That there is no pressure in our sessions. We both show up not knowing what will happen, but just go with the flow of the discussion.
-That I finally found someone who is appropriately teaching me about boundaries, and I don't feel rejected (for the first time in my life).
-That she recognizes who I am as a person, and not the snapshot of who I am only in session.
-That she is just a regular person - a mom, a sister, a wife, a woman.
-That she is my T. I am SO happy and so grateful that after many many attempts to find another T, I have found my way back to her.

Hugs to everyone, and to all the wonderful T's out there who make our lives just a little bit better.

((((((((((((((Everyone and T's))))))))))))))

[PlanningtoLive]

- that my T understands me like no one else does.
- that my T accepts me, warts and all
- that he's known me for so long and is still supporting me
- that my T is so sensitive and thinks about me other than sessions
- that I found someone who cares

Mary Alice

[sunrise]

--his voice (I find it warm and comforting in its familiarity)
--the way he says little things, like "hellloooo sunny" or "I'm all ears" or how he sometimes calls me "my dear"
--his self-disclosures--I wanted them from the start and feel honored he trusts our relationship enough to share
--his hugs--he's a tall man and I feel very protected when I am up against him and find myself only coming up to his shoulder
--his warmth
--that he has cried with me
--how he is so trustworthy
--the way he gives me hope
--the way he really "gets" me
--how he makes me feel that it is OK to admit I have feelings and to express them
--the way he values how sensitive I am instead of thinking it is a liability
--the way he twins us on a lot of things, saying things like, "people like us..."

[Kiya]

Very Very cool, reading everyone's posts - makes everyone's Ts and Pdocs seem so real, supporting us all even while we are online. I connect with so many ppl's posts, reading them and thinking "Oh my old t did that" (smiled so that her eyes crinkled up and I would smile too, tell me stories of her dog) , "oh my dr says that" (calls me Kiya dear, asks my opinions) - all these make me smile =) ...thinking about old T's voice, thinking about new t using swear words "for my benefit" when they are so out of place for her otherwise.

I will add....

... T saying "Oh dear!!!" to everything (even though I found it old fashioned and odd at first... now I find my self saying it).

...t's non-reactivity to things - maintaining consistant, predictable responses. Maybe I already said that.

... T's non-matching, chaotic room with so much to look at and so many different colors (non-sterile as someone mentioned).

...that T will call even on a holiday if I am in trouble.

...That she is teaching me boundaries, honest communication, and good leadership.

[phoenix7]

that when I was too keyed up to sit still in her office we went for a walk down by the river and did therapy there

that she sometimes gives up her tea break to continue our session

that she has a sense of humour thats warped like mine

that she hasnt run out of the room screaming......yet!

(thanks for this post Kiya - I needed to remember some good things )

[3velniai]

I've seen her only 4 or 5 times so far, but I already like her, especially...
- that she is not too sweet, she's a real person there;
- she allows communication by email and responds even in the middle of the night (literally, I got an email at 1AM, lol);
- she sends me stories by email (already got 2 , both were fun to read and gave me something to think about);
- it's not a big deal if I and leave the room;
- I love the color of her hair (I can hardly remember the way she looks, but I feel I could recognize the color anywhere, lol)

[KUREHA]

That she cares - she phoned to check I was ok even though we have no contact between appointments
She understands me
She hasn't left me lol
Her smile
The way she's cool with everything - so I can tell her anything at all
That she's totally awesome

[chaotic13]

I also like that I can't seem to piss my T off or hurt her feelings. I know it sounds stupid and superficial, but I need someone like that at the moment. Kiya I liked your non-reactivity comment today.sometimes this angers me other times it is very comforting. This week its a positive thing :-)

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by mightaswelllive

...when we mutually see the absurdity in my behavior and can share a laugh about it.

LOL!!! thanks!!!

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

that when I was too keyed up to sit still in her office we went for a walk down by the river and did therapy there

omg how awesome is that?!?! I wanna have therapy by the river!!

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by skeksi

...how when T sees me getting scared, he makes his voice slower and even more quiet, and he moves even more slowly and deliberately so as not to scare me more.

I'd like to send my medical dr to your T so she can learn this technique! awesome as she is, she sees me panic and starts acting even quicker and bigger than usual (trying to make me laugh... which i do... but more out of nerves). @_@

I like when my T puts dr in her place =) because dr is sooo good at putting others in their place - hee hee

[skeksi]

Kiya, I'd like to send my doctors to T for training, too! I went to see a new GYN and when I expressed anxiety, she just moved *faster*.

It has made such a difference to me to have one person in my life who is so considerate of what I need.

[chaotic13]

I like the fact that I can't hurt my T.

I like how my T incorporates what I tell him I need into what he does. For example, this week when he forgot to reschedule me from Wed., he made an appointment at 5:00 the next day.

I like how my T knows who I am and for the most part knows exactly what to say. For example, I was having difficulty at work with a teacher and he knew just what to say to help me see things in a different light.

I like how he asks, "Are you okay?" when I'm having a difficult time.

I like that he hasn't left me yet.

I like that I am connected to him even if it's only through the therapeutical relationship. No one will ever be able to take that away from me.

I like that I feel safe in his office.

I love that he gave me a Queen chess piece.

[bestillandknow]

Ever wonder what your therapist is writing in their notes? Hmm.
Those notes are what will be used in a court setting, and then they become a matter of public record.