Is it really normal to breakdown in therapy?

really? The idea that T is sitting there month after month waiting for me to break down is very daunting. the emotion she has seen so far is anger, and a lot more of it than I ever inteded to show her, but my tears are private.

I think that different people process and change in different ways; do you not think so?

I'm going to repeat what I posted before. My T said I do not have to cry for therapy to be effective. I have a very close connection with my T but I've never broken down or cried. Who told you that you have to break down for therapy to work? I've connected with my T in other ways. I've definitely shared my feelings with her even though I haven't cried.

Thank you for all your replies and shared experiences.

I am not one who likes to cry in front of people, which many of you had stated as well. It just happened. I don't think I let it happen, I think I was just too overwhelmed about a few things and couldn't stop it.

I tend to keep everything bottled up, every emotion, including anger. My T told me that she has still never seen me express anger. Maybe that will come later.

As far as the tears, my T told me that they are a gift to my healing to be able to express them. Maybe after crying in there, I'm not as embarrased because she was right there supporting me. Maybe it just scared me because I try so hard to control everything, crying is one area, and it happened.

I don't think that there is a set of standards that have to happen for therapy to work but I do think that holding back, at least for me, has not been very beneficial because I turn all the anger and hurt inward. I get upset with myself and I know that's not a good mechanism.

Maybe it does come in allowing yourself to cry but it certainly can't be forced. I would get frustrated because I could not express myself, which made it ever harder for me. I would attack myself with, why can't I just cry like everyone else, whats wrong with me? Why do I sit here and hold everything in?

I hope its a start to learning how to express myself, my normal reaction is to go in there with my armour adorned. It's hard to be vulnerable that's all I can say.

LOL!!!!!! This is too funny!

You can only start where you are at.............

Honestly, although I think about it...probably too much. I try NOT to think about it during the session. I want to be able to FEEL free to express whatever emotion I actually recognize during the session. Intellectually I know my T will accept whatever comes out of me... laughter, tears, anger, she's even accepted my silence. However... getting my body to acknowledge this acceptance has eluded me at this point. The good news is... although I have stopped (censored) my anger during sessions... I don't remember feeling like I've wanted to cry and not allowed it. This emotion has only been there in the past tense. Hopefully if sadness surfaces and tears can form during a session, I will allow them to flow. ..Can't do no more!

dont feal bad it has happened to me several times. I almost lost control last friday at school, in forth block, but some how i controlled it. I keep going off on everyone around me becuase i wont deal with my problems so its best to let them out to somebody then to keep them bundled up i learned that the hard way. becuase they will keep building up untill you explode.

I was taking everything out on my boyfriend, until my best friend Dallas saw how we were always fighting and she saw how it upset me even more so she asked me to just take it out on her. Everyday since i have talked her head off and shes still there for me. So i will be here for you. If you ever want somebody to yell at of release pressure send me an i.m.

I agree. People process and change in different ways. You do not have to breakdown for therapy to work. In my opinion if the hurt (or grieving) is so buried it can only help, like releasing energy. There are other ways to do it as well, like expressing yourself in drawing, writing, photography, poetry etc.

Xtree

I have cried a lot in therapy and have even sobbed several times. But I don't break down. I'm not sure what that means, but I don't think I do it. I don't consider expressing emotions to be breaking down.

I probably just chose the wrong word, its something I have never done before which is why I chose that word. It wasn't normal crying for me; it was sobbing, couldn't catch my breath, shaking, all that stuff. I just kept my face hidden, my T kept asking me if I could look at her but I couldn't.

I agree we all express things differently. There is no right way to do it. Since I hadn't done that before, first being with my old T for a year and then going on 5 months with my new T, I was surprised by it.

Earlier into my therapy, I would choke up easily and the tears would pour...but I have held back from sobbing. Lately, I feel like I have built a protective shield to prevent my emotions from surfacing....and I don't feel that it's good for me. I hope I can get to a point where I can feel the feelings when I'm in T. I guess I'm too afraid - but I don't know what I'm afraid of.....