Saving Old Love Letters from the Ex

Hi Flyerfan

Most of the time people keep them around for memories/sentimental value or like in my case... it's a nice piece of jewelry that they can use.

Sometimes in the case of an engagement ring, some people never get around to getting the stone set into another piece of jewelry.

Anyway... It sounds to me like you may be attaching too much significance to what that person's feelings are surrounding a piece of jewelry.

I suspect you are feeling this way because of some underlying trust issues? Am I right?

Most people do... whether the details of a letter are of an intimate nature or not.

It's personal business, not something that is shouted to the world or shared with one's friends and family members.

Ditto for financial records... do we typically share these with everyone? No... most people don't.

Anyway as far as my love letters go, I keep mine in a storage container and I don't plan to tell my boyfriend about them or about the history of some of my pieces of jewelry either. If he ever did discover my letters, I'm not getting rid of them even if he whines about it. That topic is a non-negotiable item in my book.

The way I look at it is... those letters are a part of my history... of who I am and where I have been, and I have the right--- the entitlement, to my memories and those things that help me to remember my past.

If he is insecure about it... well too bad, so sad.. the letters stay.

Another way to look at is:

Boyfriends come and boyfriends go... but memories and momentos (including letters, jewelry, couches, chairs, and flat panel TVs, etc) should be forever.

LOL!!

Peppermint Patty

[QUOTE=flyerfan24;1020881]I've had this conversation with a few folks in person.......... and wanted to see how others felt about it in this forum.

Is it apporpriate for a significant other, married or not, but in a committed relationship, to save love letters and notes from a past lover? I mean specifically letters that talk of intimate moments shared and adoring type of letters.
It seems odd that a person would hang onto this if that relationship is long gone and over......and now in a new solid relationship...
seems very hurtful towards your partner to hang onto it.......

my reply: I had this issue in a recent relationship where he had kept a bunch of cards from his ex in his file cabinet in the bedroom. The problem is I felt I couldn't confront him because they were inside a file box. And of course I would have to admit being snoopy because I looked in there. My adviceO NOT KEEP LETTERS AND CARDS FROM EXES!!! It will make your current sweetheart uncomfortable! If you are hanging on to those things then you are not really moving forward.

I had a boyfriend who is a famous writer and I had many letters from him but they weren't mushy or very intimate. I did keep those because I think they will be worth something someday, BUT I stashed them away in my garage where they would never be inadvertantly found.

The ex became a big issue for me because of those letters he had. It's callous to leave memories of an old relationship around and memories are best kept in your head.