[NuckingFutz]

i have been letting this guy stay on my couch for a while...he would cook and clean a little and even paid for my phone bill, but the guy never even asked if he could stay. Apparently his pattern is a con, charming at first, then the next thing you know, he is laying on my couch watching bad tv all weekend long, and his weekends are 4 or 5 days long. i really do not like him and i want to live alone. He knows i am not suppose to have anyone living with me...and this is a tiny apartment. his behavior says to me... "this is what i do, i do not respect anyone elses rules unless there is something in it for me". I do not want to get into a verbal arguement...ptsd trigger. I am not afraid of him, but just to dump some anger, next time he leaves for work on wednesday, i want to lock the door behind him and never look back. thing is, i need everyone's support and feedback. Can you all help me with that?

[Elysium]

I support you!!!

I think this is a good idea!! My one question is, does he have a key? If he doesn't have a key, then locking him out would work. The only concern there is at some point he will attempt to come back and he may knock on your door and expect you to let him back in.

I don't know where your located or what the laws are in your area, but sometimes, if you invite someone into your home and let them reside there and they are there for a certain amount of time, it can legally become their place of residence and in order to evict them you would have to legally evict him. But like I said, I don't know what your local laws are.

I wish you the best though, and I am definitely here for you and back you on this. This guy definitely needs to hit the curb!!

Keep us posted!!

[sunflower55]

Tell him it's time to go.
"It's been fun, bud, but, you've had better times."
And then, hand him his change of clothes.
Close the door behind him without giving him a chance to say a word.
And no looking back.
He's history and he is bad news for you.

This is a time to be firm, not angry.
Simple and straight forward, with no room for discussion.

As the song says,
"Hit the road, Jack,
And don't you come back no more."

I'm not trying to be frivilous. I know you're upset. I had to do something similar with my son's ex g/f and her son recently. It wasn't easy because of the child. But, she only used that child as a way to stay, as she continued to steal from me; not pay rent.... Enough. Good Bye!

You have to stand firm and take care of YOU.
He won't. He will continue to use you if you let him.
Don't let him!

We're here for you.
Let us know how it goes.

Peace!

[NuckingFutz]

the guy does not have a key. He does not have tennant rights unless he is in the apartment. as a matter of fact, next time he leaves the apartment...he is outta here. I am putting his stuff out with a note that says "thanks for coming by, you forgot your backpack. Had to go...bye" unless someone else has a better idea for a note!

[justfloating]

Is there any way you can get a friend -- a REAL friend -- to be there when you kick him out? I'm not sure what your mental health situation is, but if a verbal argument is triggering for you -- and it might be, even if it's just through the door when he finds his stuff outside -- it might be better for you to have a friendly face there to make sure you're okay. Plus, there is strength in numbers, right?

Good luck. You're doing the right thing by kicking him out. He needs to go!! Good luck. You've got lots of support here.

[NuckingFutz]

talked to my neighbor for support. She told me she knew he was a con artist the first time she met him. Could have sworn she said "gee, he seems like a really nice guy". Grrr... :-( she said i failed to set my boundaries. Since i have been coming back here, i have relearned what real support is. She said she would come over but she is "not good at stuff like that". She said to just tell him to leave... i do not negotiate well with con artists. Call me a whimp, but i would be a lot more comfortable with him on the other side of a locked door. I do not think safety is wimpy. do not even think i even owe the turd an explanation but will tell him in a note with his stuff...just do not like him, do not want him around, want him to leave me alone.

[bearchic34]

If you are scared you need to call and have an officier with you when you tell him to leave. Pack his things. Have a cop there and don't give in to let him back. U shouldn't have to be like this in your home. I also think you need to have your locks changed either way.
Please keep us up to date.

[NuckingFutz]

thanks so much for the support. I will keep you all up to date. I think he is starting to realize he is not welcome here. I do not respond to his actions words or gestures. i act like he is not hear. I might even pick up the tv remote and change the channels when he is right in the middle of watching something. Yeah, i know, too passive agressive. Would not do it. But if an opportunity presents itself, i will tell him about the huge animosity. still kicking him out as soon as he leaves.