[undercover007]

My bf and I are in a serious relationship and we see each other a lot. He's good about calling me every day to talk as well. But I have this really bad problem where if he doesn't answer his phone when I call, I start to freak out and then call him obsessively. I get paranoid that he won't ever talk to me again and for some reason my initital reaction is to just keep calling him over and over which of course annoys him. This only happens once in a great while. But then the other night, he didn't answer his phone and I knew it was his day off. So I called him repeatedly worrying where he was cause I assumed he was going to see me. Then finally around 8pm he calls me to tell me he was at a funeral and that he found out that morning that his step-mom's aunty died so they had to go. So of course he couldn't answer his phone and I dont think he even had it with him during the funeral. Totally understandable. Then he said he was driving back home and he'd call me later. Well he never did call. And I freaked out and called him over n over obssessively. I figured he fell asleep and I knew his phone was on silent cause he tends to do that.. but for some reason I couldnt stop myself from calling him. I even started crying cause I was just upset that I didn't get to talk to him before I went to bed like I normally do. Finally the next day, I called him from like from a different number to see if he would answer and he didnt. I called him from my own number repeatedly and still no answer. He finally called me later that night after work and the first thing I said was why didnt you call me last night?? He said that when he got home he was relaxing and then ended up falling asleep.. which is what I thought. But then I got all upset and pissed off and then he got angry and was like he can't take that anymore. He was good about talking about the issue with me saying that if I keep doing it, it just pisses him off even more when I called over n over. I think I called him like 20 times in a row. He told me its "sick" and that if I just call once, he'll get back to me later. But if i call repeatedly like that, it just makes him not want to talk to me. So I didnt really get to tell him everything I wanted to say cause he said he was angry and that he didnt want to talk anymore. I started getting upset and crying but he said that he'll talk to me later. I got off the phone and then the next day which was yesterday, he didnt call me at all! This time I only called 3 times and texted him "I miss you." But I didn't freak out this time and I just let it go although i really was upset that he didn't call. Now its the next day, what should I do? Just not call him anymore? I'm worried..

[amy83]

You sound just like me. I've done the same thing with my bf. But he always ends up calling... He lives an hour away so when he drives home and i dont hear from him in about an hour a start to think he's been in an accident, but its usually he stopped to see his brother or just hasn't turned his cell back on cuz he doesn't get reception where I live. The one night he never called me back he ended up leaving his phone at Rite Aid after he had been in the er for an infected tooth.
We went to bed mad two nights ago and he didn't text me back til 2;30 in the afternoon and i'd been trying to get ahold of him all morning. And he sya we're fine i just turned on my phone. He's very understanding and i'm getting over worrying that he is dead evrytime it takes a couple hours to hear from him.....
I guess it's kinda normal to freak about someone you care about. He's the best I have had in a relationship; and when i start to worry that somethings wrong i just have to think that everytime something happens aND HE hasn't called right away there has always been a good reason.
Just think positively about it and think about how much you trust him and wait....

[jerrymichele]

I'm sorry your upset. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but your pushing him away. Most men in general do not like talking on the phone. I think they are just wired that way. My daughter loves the phone, but my boys hate the phone. My boyfriend is the same way. If he's not on the phone doesn't mean he's out doing something he isn't suppost to be doing. Besides that, it's really not healthy for you to just sit by the phone waiting for him either. I think that he's not calling you because he feels like your smothering him. Calling 20 times just isn't good. If you can't trust him maybe he's not the one for you.

[AAAAA]

Hello undercover 007, welcome to PC!

Why do you call him over and over again? This may sound like a stupid question but I think you need to know the source of your anxiety. If it's a trust issue then calling over and over isn't going to change what he's doing. If it's an anxiety issue (which I totally understand) then try to come to some sort of an agreement, like a simple premade text "sorry, can't talk now, I'll get back to you." I do not enjoy talking on the phone and I find three calls annoying, 20 would put me over the edge. With the technology these days not only does he know that you've called, but when so before you pick up the phone to call him again ask yourself if it's worth it and what you hope to accomplish.

[bailey193]

I used to do the same thing with my boyfriend all the time! He would go out with friends and I would call and get mad if he didn't call or answer so I just kept calling. I then read this really good book "Why Men Love *****es" (great book!) and she talks about how guys veiw the multiple calls. It made me think so what I did then was find something else to do while he was out/busy, so that I wasnt just sitting by the phone. This helped sometimes but not all the time, cause it just worried me more. Another thing to do would be to do the same thing back. Either don't answer when he calls, or don't call back. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE AND BELIEVE ME ITS HARD.. BUT IT WORKS! I only had to do it a few times, and it worked. Now were better and don't have this problem anymore.. I give him time to get back to me, and he always does. Just some tips for you to try.