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#1
Jun 30, 2009, 11:05 PM
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Hello.
I'm currently dealing with a friend and her boyfriend. The story goes that my friend went into the psych hospital for a while, then when she came back her boyfriend wanted to go, but was rejected. (they don't have any insurance and were going through the same place to get placement) After a while, they accepted him into a day program which he has been attending for a couple weeks. Now, my friend wants to go into the day program as well. I feel like she doesn't know what to do with herself while her boyfriend is away all day, and is letting his mood affect hers A LOT. She was rejected from the day program, and was horribly upset. I think it's because her and her boyfriend are too affected by eachother. They are in a very serious relationship and I am worried that it'll get worse. They aren't attached at the hip, but when one is having a horrible time the other is as well. If my husband were upset, I would be sad that he is upset, but I wouldn't generally be in a bad mood and thought process because of it. Anyone have any advice? My friend and her boyfriend are very bad off mentally right now, and my friend is mad at everything and isn't really talking to me. I want to tell her what I think about it, but she's not going to like it. But she needs to know. Help?
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"Imagine if you suddenly learned that the people, the places, the moments most important to you were not gone, not dead, but worse, had never been. What kind of hell would that be?" |
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#2
Jul 01, 2009, 07:07 PM
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You can try telling her what you think but you might get a bad reaction, so be prepared. Better advice is to stay out of their drama or you'll get entangled with them too, like they do with each other. Then all three of you will be acting crazy and triggering each other.
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 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free.  But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings." 
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#3
Jul 01, 2009, 10:19 PM
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There is a great book by Melodie Beatty called 'Co-Dependant No More' & 'Beyond Co-Dependancy' ... I think last time I saw it, she combined the books.
I hope that you do see what Pom is saying about not getting tangled in another couples issues. It has a way of turning on the wrong people ~ especially as difficulties mount. Avoid the projections and misunderstandings by remaining their friend, but releasing their issues. Listen, love them, and hope for the best. Peace and Support, Night xoxo 
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 Pomegranate
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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