My thoughts are consuming me! HELP

Hi my name is Micki and my BF is Danny. he is my 1st real relationship and he has 2 kids from 2 previous relationships. I have been with him for 6 years. We have MANY trust issues! Stemming mostly from infidelity and insecurity. I have cheated on him for many reasons to include: his infidelity, his constant need for his ex, his inability to be strong, his inability to acknowledge the very existence of our relationship. For a while (2 1/2 years) Our relationship was unknown to his ex! We were "just friends". So my issue is: How can we move past our past screw-ups and move forward since it seems like at least once a day he claims to have those "infeidelity" thoughts run through his mind; to the point where he cannot FUNCTION! It is a CONSTANT rollercoaster ride with his behavior, moods and reactions. I feel like I am WALKING on egg shells with EVERYTHING I DO! I don't knwo what to recommend or even go from here?? he is not working because he states "I can't go to work worrying about where you are at or who you are talking to". I can't even see my family as much because he thinks there is ALWAYS someone trying to hook up with me. this relationship is to VERY complicated in EVERY sense if the word! I can't even briefly decribe what we go through. However, we ALWAYS end up in each other's arms. We have a GREAT UNDENIABLE LOVE and attraction to one another. PLEASE HELP ME!! I want to be with him, however I want US to be HAPPY and able to move on from past issues, on both sides.

Thank you,
Micki

I'm not trying to be harsh, but I really think you should let him go. You deserve better than that.

In great undeniable love there is no room for jealous controlling possessive behavior. It just dsnt sound like love to me. I hope things get better for you

Micki I am going through the same thing right now. My girlfriend cheated on me almost a year ago and we are fighting about today. As i type u this, me and my girl are at odds over a bad decision she made 12 months ago. One thing you might have to understand is, he might never get over it, he might never be able to move on. Cheating affects everyone differently. If hes having the mood swings, the ups and downs or the rollercoaster as you call it (I know it well) hes having a very hard time getting the image of you being with another man out of his head. It can be triggered by anything, a song, a thought, a tv show and its all down hill from there. Its not going to be easy and there no quick fix. This is one the karma of cheating. If you want to be with him you have a long and hard road ahead of you, if you can't deal with his reactions to the pain he feels from being cheated on, cut it short and move on.

I am in the same situation. Sometimes it is better to cut it off, but I too have the same 'end up in each others arms" That however, does NOT make it healthy. When someone can't change the past and the other can't let it go, there may be no way to move forward. It is extremely frustrating the deal with the ups and downs. I never know how I am suppose to feel that day until he shows me what mood he is in. And EVERYTHING we fight about ALWAYS ends up being about that night over a year ago. I hate that it happened but have done ANYTHING I can to make sure he is secure. I have learned that it doesn't matter what I do. He doesn't even think I should ever ask for more than he gives because he is faithful, and the truth is, I am suffering too. I made the mistake, but I can assure you I am paying the price. Good luck, but being in misery only prolongs the pain you will need to get through when you realize it isn't going to change and you are perm stuck on a rollercoaster. Remember, you are human. You also have feelings and deserve peace and happiness.

cut it loose...you can end up in another caring arms that you don't need to have too much argue....this is not healthy for you!

do not walk, run away from this relationship, it might hurt for a while, but you will be thankful in the future.