[ZeTeBu]

I went on an online dating site 6 months ago. I found two guys interesting so I picked one to date and let the other (Bob) go. I basically talked to him less frequently until we weren't talking anymore. It wasn't dramatic at all. Anyway, the first relationship didn't work out. He proposed after a month and I ran like hell.

For a while I focused on work and other things and didn't date at all. Then one day I found the second guy's number (Bob) and called. We went out to lunch. Bob was way over groomed. He ironed his blue jeans, shaves his brows and mustache into perfect shapes with clippers and uses mascara. He said he was 42 but appeared 10 yrs older. Bob was very worried about whether I was gainfully employed and bragged about owning nice cars and his job. He was nice, a little arrogant but I often find that attractive in men.

Anyway we chatted for a few weeks. Bob seemed to be super organized. He goes to bed, works out and eats the same time everyday. He called me the same time almost everyday, etc. We planned a second date put he had to work but called me from the restaurant while eating out with his co-workers that same day. He got back home at 8pm but since it was a weekday he goes bed and works out at a certain time so he wouldn't go out.

Since I don't always have time to go out and it was a lot of trouble to arrange childcare etc so I was a little upset about that but continued to chat with him. He claimed to have dated a lot of women. Whenever we disagreed he compared my response to one of the other women he had a relationship with.

Bob felt if he should be able to tell a woman what to wear. Her feet had to be nice. Then one day he called and asked what parts of my body I shave. I found this an odd question and creepy so I started winding things down. He called and emailed me until I told him why I didn't want to talk to him. He said I was being silly and that everyone has standards. I told him that I was a really laid back kind of person and liked it and that he was way too organized and it wouldn't work out.

He still calls me using different numbers sometimes twice a day. Every morning around 10 am I get a call from an unknown number with no msg. If I answer the person doesn't say anything but I think its him.

Fortunately he has no idea where I live or work. I don't think Bob is dangerous but I wonder why he keeps calling and where I went wrong.

Why does this guy keep calling?

[NuckingFutz]

Cause he is a creep...you ran from the other creep you need to run from this one too. Block his number or change it. There are a lot of non creeps out there...keep looking. Love, nuckingfutz

[VickiesPath]

He keeps calling because he is a creep AND you kinda didn't happen to see that red flag that was waving after you noticed the mascara. IMHO. But then, I'm a little old fashioned, I guess. (Do employers allow that now?)

To be perfectly fair, my husband has a few habits that are out of the ordinary and I would not trade him for anything or anyone. But, he always told me he appreciated certain things about me, not that I had to have those qualities or it was a deal breaker.

You could get call blocker, or whatever that thing is where you program in the numbers you are only willing to accept.

[Edahn]

Sounds like he might be a narcissist. If so, you might have wounded his fragile pride and now he's hell bent on correcting it so he can maintain his inflated view of himself. This happens in guys who aren't narcissists too, who just fixate on things. Could be a little OCD too, which would explain his obsessive behavior.

Call-block's a great idea. You might also be able to *69 his number (after waiting a little while) to make sure it's him and ask him to knock it the eff off. You did do a nice job letting him down though, in my opinion. Kudos!

[katie14]

He sounds very rigid. Anyone who will not go out simply because it interferes with his schedule isn't very flexible and if he cannot compromise with somehting so small what would happen if it was a larger, significant issue?
His questions were inapropriate and none of his business after having just met you. I would send him an email clearly stating you have no desire to continue contact. Wish him well in his relationship pursuits. If he continues to contact you, contact the police. This person doesn't sound stable and you don't know if he is capable of tracking you down. Good Luck!

[ZeTeBu]

Thanks everyone. No calls this weekend. Maybe he's finally getting tired! The last time I spoke with him was more than a month ago. I definitely felt something was not right with him after the shaving question but maybe Vickie was right about the mascara. My inner voice just said "Run away!" Edahn I really appreciate the link on the narcissist, now I can have my own checklist to help weed them out.