[sherry13]

well..not sure where to start..i guess stating that i have the people pleaser personality and wanting to help others and not hurt them is a big problem for me...i have been seperated from my husband for 2 yrs...never mentioned the word divorce..or even come right out and told him..this will never work...during the seperation he has attempted suicide,,thus making me afriad to be honest.....he is a good father and a kind man..but drinks heavily..and suffers from depression..i know alot of what i have been through he doesnt know about..i never told him...i know our marriage is over..he still has hopes..the letters he sends and the attempts to change wont work.....i feel controlled...i know it is time to say its over...once and for all....since our split he triggers my ptsd...i cant take the letters.....the phone calls...but yet i dont say anything in my defense....how do you tell someone you just dont love them that way and it just wont work....without hurting them....i know its something i need to do..but why wont this people pleaser attitude allow me to free myself of such despair....i just dont know how.....

[Eva1nder]

((((((((((sherry)))))))))))

I know it's so hard ... I'm a people pleaser to .... and that's one reason I si too because I can't ever hurt ppl so I turn anger, hurt and rage inward.

I don't like hurting people whatsoever.

I did make one exception and that is my ex. The only way I was able to do this though was because of the massive amounts of hurt he put me through. I wasn't intentionally cruel cuz that's not in my nature, but I was at least able to do what I needed to for myself and that was to tell him to leave and follow through with my divorce without looking back and no regrets.

Have you talked to your T about this. I can imagine being in your shoes because I went through that stage. You need some support and direction...seeing the possibilities and one thing that also helped me was knowing that this was the best thing for "him" as well...eventually. It was allowing him to have opportunities as well.

Sherry ... I miss you

we gotta catch up
Talk to you soon.
Eva