[firstmate]

My husband hasn't worked in over two years now. He says he's looking for work and has had several job offers. Most of the time he says they just need to do a background check. That takes so long that they have already hired someone else, but tell him to wait by the phone in case that person doesn't work out. One time the check came through fine, but the company needed "X" amount of people for a training class and he would have to wait. On that one he recently said they probably hired others who are working now. All his contacts are either in person while I'm at work or on a phone that I can't easily get the call history and he won't talk on when I'm home. In short, I don't think he's really looking for work.

I was chatting with my mother about our financial situation and she sent some money. In one afternoon he called several different places for prices on things we had been talking about getting and came up with several possibilities. Why can't he use some of that effort in looking for a job?

Yes, right now jobs are not easy to come by. When we moved here a year ago we were both looking for work. There was one week I remember I had 3 interviews, one of which offered me the job I'm currently at. I don't remember a MONTH when he had 3 inverviews. It seems all he does is complain he doesn't have a job but won't do the work to get one. If he won't do the work to get one, he won't last long at one anyway because he won't work then either.

Guess I'm just frustrated because the man I love is acting like a lazy bum and if I tell him that he will get depressed and stop even pretending to look for work, sitting at home watching pay per view movies and playing on the computer. (The reason he left his last job was that his headaches were so bad he couldn't see to count the money as a cashier and sometimes even now he says his head hurts so bad that he plays on the computer to take his mind off the pain. Which doesn't make sense to me but that's his story and he's sticking to it.)

If you're still reading this, I thank you. I'm not looking for advice or anything, just a place to let off some steam.

[lynn P.]

((( Firstmate))) - I hear you and I hope this get better very soon. The computer can become a very tempting way to waste the day. If I were you I would cancel internet and cable for a few months - he'll be bored silly LOL. I'm serious!!

[bebop]

and how old is he? I was married to one that wouldn't work too but we were very very young. I will not take care of a man that will not work. I refuse. my husband was out of work for 3 months recently. thank goodness he finally started one yesterday even if it isn't what he would like as a job at least it will put money into the home again. whew! I feel your pain hon. I agree put a block on the pay for view.