[conda7]

well i have been dating my girlfriend or 9 months now. And i can really say that i have never felt this was about a girl before. we get along in every way. but here is where issue is. i would say its trust i guess. well it all started with her x. when we started dating she was not over him and it took a wile to get over him. and where the mistrust started was when she would lye about talking to him. even when the was no plane to see. the it got worse when she used the phone i had bought her to talk to him ans send him some nude pics of her. and i found out and after a lot of fighting and talking and crying i forgave her because i just loved her to much to lose her. then she stoped talking to him at the same time he told her he wanted to stop talking to her. so i dont no the real reason she stoped talking to him. and not i am trying very hard to trust her all the way. which it where the other problem comes up. her guy friends. a few times she would go to the movies and out for food with one, just the two of them. and that caused a fight. i told her i dont really like the idea of her and a guy alone on what looks like a date but she says is not. or another times is when is with her best friend which is a guy. and she wants to hang out with him and they will just got to his house and hang out in his room she says its ok because his door is open and is parents are home ans hes just a ffriend but i still feel wired about. i think i feel so uneasy about it because they were friends for a long time and they did have kiss one i think. and that has also started a fight because of her wanting to hang out with him at his house and stuff. she even once said that she'll stop talking to him if i want her to. but i could never do that to her but her saying that leads me to bleave that she really does love me as much as i love her. and the most recent fight was about another guyfriend. she was drawing a pic for him to get a tattoo for his daughter. he also has a wife. then she gave him her number and they started talking a lot. and then he started hitting on her she asked him to stop i guess but then still wanted to keep talking to him. then he stared getting in to our business about relationship asking if i was to clingey and if she liked it. well after we got in another fight she said she would stop talking to him on the phone and text and only on emale and only about the pic she is still working on for him. well i saw the emails and he was say stuff like "i missed talking to you" and always asking how she is and how was her day and you should come hang out with me your inside to much. i just dont know how to react anymore i'm just lost in feeling and really need help on how to deal with it all. i'm over reacting to all of this is it wrong to have mistrust. i really do want to trust her i do

[jerrymichele]

I wouldn't trust her either. I think that you should go with your gut feeling on this. I would tell her good bye.

[lhmt]

Hi. I'm a girl and I too and have 2 guy friends that I hang out a lot with. And I think it's ok for girls to have male friends. But, your gf has cheated on you, one thing I never did with any of my boyfriends. I think you do love her a lot and are afraid of loosing her. And that way you may not be very impartial when it comes to seeing what it's really going on. I think that women who cheat once(or men) will do it again. But that is just my opinion. Maybe talking to her really honest and trying to analyze this situation very rationally(I know that might be hard) could help you make a decision.

To answer your question, no, I don't think you are being too insecure. You have reasons to feel that way.
If you just can't bring yourself to trust her you can't just force it to happen.

[theotterone]

Like Ihmt, I have guy friends. My best friend is a guy. It doesn't cause issues in my marriage because I have always been upfront with my husband. The two have met and D likes the BFF and his son. I don't share with D all the BFF and I talk about, but it isn't really his business either. The point is, I have always been upfront and not done anything inappropriate with the BFF (not that I want to. Too much like a little brother, ew!)

The difference for you is that she has lied about it the entire time. I don't know if you would be able to get past it, and I don't blame you. While D was honest about his relationship with his bf when we got together (they are no longer friends, totally different story), I knew she pushed the limits of boundries with him. (For instance, she offered him sex while I was pregnant with our first daughter, and we had just found out I was high risk!) I had to get to the point that I was comfortable in the knowledge that he would be coming home to me, not her. If she had been honest in the begining, and if she hadn't done something inappropriate (which she did) I would say get over it. But obviously, she can't be honest or keep herself from doing things that are sexual in nature with him (even if it is over a phone and not in person).

As much as it may hurt, I would say cut your losses. Sorry, it isn't a happy ever after answer, but at least it's honest.

[jenkins09]

Time to tell her to kick rocks my friend..you have every reason to be insecure.

[Smilie]

I would say that you have been provoked to be insecure.And perhaps asking yourself this question "Have I learned that love hurts?" will help you along on your journey of what to do next. Please don't do yourself the injustice of invalidation of what your gut is already telling you. You deserve to be true to yourself because you are worth it. Because of this rejection you are experiencing tell yourself everyday" I am one hell of a guy! And I'm the man!" Because this rejection will challenge your self esteem and your self worth.I wish you the best of luck on your painful journey . Smilie