[Nrvous]

I'm not sure if this person considers me a friend or a foe. I have only known her for a couple of years (seeing her periodically over those years) but she is like family to me. She will not look me in the eye. Sometimes, she will look at me when I talk to her but not for very long. I notice her staring at me sometimes but when I notice and make eye contact she looks away. Sometimes she will look at me with a low chin and her eyes looking upward but when i make eye contact she looks away.

The worst is when I go to say goodbye to her it seems like she is in a hurry. I will usually shake her hand and as soon as we start shaking hands she is halfway out the door.

I really don't know what to make of the situation. Any Ideas?

[penna]

it's really tough to say without knowing either of you irl, but it might not have anything to do with you personally. i can't make eye contact with anyone. i've been married for 5 years and i'm only just now able to occasionally make eye contact with my husband and only very briefly.

i guess all i could recommend would be to just flat out ask her if her lack of eye contact with you is something you should take personally. but then i'm a very direct (and fairly socially inept) person.

[Zenobia]

I have troubles making eye contact whenever I am nervous. It doesn't even have to be nervousness due the to person I am talking to but that generalized nervousness that overtakes me sometimes. I also avoid eye contact when I am afraid the person I care about may not like what I am trying to say. It drives me nuts because I know I look like I am lying when I am not. I try to maintain eye contact but my eyes just keep slipping to the side. Just can't do it.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

[LMo]

My boyfriend has trouble with eye contact, too. I don't, but I have encountered a few people who make me nervous enough to not want to have eye contact with them, but I know that I should force myself. In those cases, I look at them *between* their eyes - less personal for me than directly in their eyes, but hopefully it is close enough for them to not notice that I am nervous.

[Nrvous]

Well, I hope I haven't done anything to make her nervous. I would really feel bad if I made her feel that way. I would never want to do anything to make her feel uncomfortable or upset when I'm around.

Thanks

[LMo]

Oh no! That wasn't what I meant! The first part, about my boyfriend having trouble with eye contact - that was the part that pertained to you. That for him, it has less to do with the other person as it does with him and his comfort level with other people. The part about me was just... me rambling, as usual!

[lonelyone]

Sometimes people will do that to me too. They'll look away when I know they are looking at me and I look back. Sometimes I feel angry when they do that because it makes me feel like they think I'm weird or something. Just hold your head up and keep confident. Don't let it make you feel self conscious.

[Peanut61]

If it's a romantic thing, sometimes it means that the person who is looking away likes you.

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

[LMo]

Actually, you just made me realize the situations that make me nervous! I hadn't figured it out until just now!

The few people that make me nervous enough to want to avoid looking at them in the eye are people who tend to STARE into your eyes. That can be a little nervewracking for some reason. Feels too personal, somehow.

So maybe (and I have never met you so I have no idea if this applies to you), if you notice other people looking away, maybe you are staring too intently at them. Maybe you could try my trick of looking at them between the eyes, rather than in their eyes. What do you think? Do you think it applies to you?

[Nrvous]

Well it's not a romantic thing because we really don't know each other that well. Unless she has different feelings that I don't know about. I really haven't been able to see much of her because of distance.

I'm naturally a shy person myself and have a hard time looking into peoples eyes. I will make eye contact though but no for long periods.

I would like to approach her about it but I'm afraid that it might things worse. I'm really not sure what to think of the situation.

Thanks again for the help.

[kvinneakt]

Oh, my... I think I am getting a picture here... sigh.

I think she likes you...

[LMo]

I second that!

[Nrvous]

I don't really think its that but I just can't be sure. I would think someone who likes you would atleast look at you or tell you they're intereseted. Instead she looks away. It just makes me really uncomfortable to be around her when I get the feeling she can't seem to feel comfortable around me.
It's just so hard to explain this awkward feeling.

[LadyDragus]

oh, no.. if the person is as shy as you, they will have a harder time looking you in the eye. My last boyfriend, is that way. When he is intreseted in someone he will have a very hard time looking the female in the eyes. I have seen him do it too many times, not to think he did not like me
It is hard for a female to aproch a friend who she has feelings for.. it can lead to thought what if it does not work out?? What happens if we fall in love ,will we lose the friendship???
Too many thought maybe goiing on in her head for her to even look you in the eye..

IT coudl be she likes you and is afraid the feelings are not mutual...
The best corse of action, call her up, or email her and ask, do you like more as a firend or do you see something else coming of us???
Maybe not in those words, but try to talk to her about it..

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>

[angelfriend]

maybe if you should talk with her, you might get the answers to why she behaves the way she does.