[NuckingFutz]

I get really angry with people when they do not treat me right. I hate when they lie, cheat, and steal and then lie about it. When this happens i get angry and loose faith in everyone. And when i get angry sometimes it gets out of control. Expressing anger in a healthy way does not work for me yet...right now i feel like cancelling my thanksgiving pot luck dinner and not interacting with anyone for a while. I am just seething! Oh and i want to kick my roommate out the day before thanksgiving. I feel bad for being so negative. I just hate humanity right now. Journaling doesn't help...the only thing that helps is when i unleash my distructive anger. Can anyone identify with this.

[ZilchHour]

Losing faith in a human or some particular humans is one thing and dibelieving in humanity is totally others. Lies, cheats, backbiting, leg-pulling, gossiping and so on are the things which have become very common and very difficult to bear for people who are straight forward and disciplined in relationships and communication. But I would suggest that if some people have proved to be bad eggs, do not get stuck with their wrong-doings. They have lost your confidence and friendship and it is punishment wnough for them. So do not trouble others or your future interactions because of some past mishappenings of the people. Good and evil are there, will always be there and we have to seek positive things in the mist of negativities.

Regards
ZILCH HOUR

[VickiesPath]

I do have to admit, NF, that I tend to have the same kind of expectations of people in general. And it does cause me a lot of grief. More than one person has kind of snickered and said, why don't you lower your expectations? Well, I was taught to have these expectations of myself, in other words, there are certain things I live by, like, if I say I will do something, I do it. If I say I will appear at a certain hour, I appear at that time. If I commit to some action, I either deliver on that commitment or make sure that it is covered by someone else. Isn't that what maturity is about?

Why is this too much to expect out of someone else? I am very lucky in that I have found a husband who also believes these things. He is one of the most ethical people I have ever met. He's not a goody two shoes. He's simply reliable. He has often said he appreciates this about me, too.

On the other hand, there is no one else that I know who I depend on in the same way. Why? Because I've been burnt. Over and over and over. People do not respect anyone else now days. Period. It's me, me, me. If there's nothing in it for them, then forget it, it doesn't matter.

What the hell do you do about this? It makes me very cynical, indeed.

[theotterone]

Two things about your post stuck out at me:

One, at least your anger is justified. It's only unleashed when people treat you bad. It's NOT irrational. I am the same way. Be upfront and honest with me, say nothing behind my back you would not say to my face and I will be the most loyal of friends. Stab me in the back at your own risk.

Two: Have you talked to a professional about your anger and a "proper" or healthy way to express it? I'm not much for advice on this point. Rage is a beast I need to keep caged and locked up tight. The power and destructiveness when I unleash it is too intense. So I tend to bottle things up. It's one of the things I am working on.

Last summer, I had made friends with a guy. I thought it was a good, mutually beneficial friendship. Well, he stabbed me in the back, even going so far as to tell others we had slept together (we HADN'T, I am married and wouldn't cheat, too much of a concience to ever do it). I was SO very angry and wanted to destroy his life.

Soon after, I became friends with my current BFF. He was patient and taught me you CAN trust people. We have a very close bond and I think he understands me better than most. My husband likes him and has no problem with our friendship.

Hang in there. You will see the good side of people along with the bad. There is not one without the other.

[jerrymichele]

NF, I relate to this very well. I have learned that for me to keep my peace and mind, I need to keep these kind of people out of my life. Before I throw somewhat of myself in a relationship with anyone, I need to get a feel for a person. If I think someone is a lier. I will just ask a simple question about them, nothing special. They will forget that I ask most of the time, and than maybe a week later I will ask the same question. I have found a lot of liers this way. I also don't like people in my home. When you let people in your home, things will start missing. When I was married to my ex-husband, he liked to have friends over. I can't tell you how many times our stuff would get stolen. I have even had family steal from me. Sometimes we need to be really picky about how we choose our friends. There are still good people out there.