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#1
Oct 30, 2009, 07:47 AM
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My girlfriend wants to be friends with her ex. girlfriend. I want to support this but I want there to be limits for sure. However I think she needs time because right now it is still almost like a NEED to see and/or talk to her. The ex and I do not like each other at all. I know emotions are still there. Advice?
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#2
Oct 30, 2009, 11:24 AM
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It's good that you want to support her wants and realize that it takes time to ease the communication. Some people do that, some people don't. You should tell her how you feel, so that she'd understand somewhat what you're feeling. I know it can be hard and frustrating. Just tell her you're uncomfortable around the ex, but you don't want her to feel like she needs to lose a friend to be in a relationship with you, but there'll be times when you have crazy thinking or feelings, and you'll tell her, and work it out from there. I'm sorry if I'm not much help
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#3
Nov 03, 2009, 03:59 PM
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Try and communicate in a gentle and positive way how you are feeling. However ultimately you need to do what is best for you, what makes you most comfortable. If the two of you can keep the lines of communication open, can keep being supportive of each other's feelings and take things slow, this may all resolve itself. Trust your instincts.
__________________
 I'd rather have a visit, note or pretty picture than an "I'll say a prayer" or a "god bless you." Doesn't make me feel better, no meaning to me for sure. Can't stop you from praying and blessing me, and if that makes you feel better feel free. But keep it to yourself please, don't tell me. And let's all respect each other's feelings. With kindness, support and "sweet dreamings." 
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#4
Nov 03, 2009, 06:32 PM
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Quote:
When D (husband of 12 years) and I met, he was BFFs with his ex-girlfriend from high school and they had a "torrid" history. While he was ok with limits, she was not and pushed them all the time. I eventually got to a place where I had to accept it or walk away. (BTW, in the end, she ended up crossing the line by threatening me when she, in an alcoholic delusion, wrongly thought I had hit on her husband. Ironic, since she had offered mine sex during my high risk pregnancy with our first daughter, her god-daughter!) If your comfort level isn't there, be honest about that. Just think out how you are going to present this to your GF, as you don't want to get her defensive.
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I am not a medical or mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just talk kinda like one!  Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light! They say I have A.D.D. but I think they are full off...  Oh look! A CHICKEN! Be careful how you look at the world, it may look back!  How do you want to be seen? |
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#5
Nov 03, 2009, 07:29 PM
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If you don't mind me asking, how long have you two been together, and how long have they been apart?
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Live in the moment. Right now is the only thing we really have.  |
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#6
Nov 05, 2009, 04:17 PM
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Open conversation about it is best, beyond that you'll have to feel out the situation.... I'm also curious how long you've been together etc
__________________
 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
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