[Basement Typer]

I don't understand. Why do these waves keep coming? Why am I so unlikeable, unlovable? The only peace Ifind tonight is to sit in the basement in total darkness typing this just to keep the light on the phone. Nothing I do is right, nothing is good enough.

I can see the disappointment, disgust amd worst of all the disinterest in their eyes. "Why is she bothering me? Can't she see I am only being polite? I have more important things to do. Better people to talk to. When she finally leave me alone?"

But I can't. I keep going back. Trying to earn the respect, the friendship, the interest, the love I so clearly am not going to receive - perhaps not even deserving of.

So why not just stop? Why not honor their hopes, their wishes and just leave? I am even too week to do that.

So I pretend I don't notice. I don't see the disappointment, the disgust, and worst of all the disinterest and sit in the dark, in the basement, typing just to keep the light on my phone.

[gimmeice]

Hello Basement typer, welcome to psych central.
Have you considered that these people really might not be feeling the way you think they are? Depression can cloud the way we see things and it could be that is what is happening to you.
I am sending you lots of hugs
Everybody deserves love hun.

[FeelingHopeful]

Sending you a hug, I sometimes feel the same, very depressed so I wish you to feel better. Hugs!

[Junerain]

(((((basement typer)))

I got 'shunned' for many years until I learned to go to a support group, I found it very conducive to true friendships...I tried hard to fit in, and after a while, after many years, I did

I wish this for you....can you find a support group? A church?

[opheliasorrow]

Hello sweetie and welcome to PC. So many feel this way, you are not alone. Our minds play tricks you see ... if you are depressed or suffer with maybe a personality disorder (I'm not saying you do) Do you see a therapist about how you feel? Sometimes low self esteem and lack of confidence makes us think we are being treated this way, I know this from experience, then we go making assumptions . We have to start by liking who we are, don't try to impress others, be yourself and please know your behaviour patterns will need time to change, nothing happens over night ... I wish you well, safe hugs if that's ok ... Ophelia xx Keep reaching out here, write your thoughts down, this WILL pass .... xx

[sighko]

You may need to find new people... or change your perspective. The latter is easier. Oh this is so cliche but: You have to like you before anyone else can like you. I am troubled (and then some...) but I do like myself and I find people respond better to my presense. Pick yourself up beautiful and enjoy your own company and then others will do the same. Just try it at least, what have you got to lose? And if they still don't like you, oh shucks, I feel sorry that they missing out on the fabulous you. Move on.