[magenta85]

As some of you may have read in my other post, I have cheated on my boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) with about 8 people. Many of them where men I didn’t even want to have sex with. I feel completely disgusted with myself, and the guilt is overbearing. I feel like a *****. I hate myself, and I feel like I don’t deserve to be with someone decent. I just started dating someone new, and I feel like I am holding this deep dark secret. I feel like I AM a lie. My ex bf never found out about the cheating and there is no one in the world that can convince him to tell him. It would kill him. Should I tell the new guy if it gets serious? How do I get over the guilt, and get back what little self-esteem I had?
It was my therapist who told my to cheat, but i'm sure he didnt mean for me to go this overboard.
thanks

[Yoda]

My opinion: no, don't tell your history. Live in the present and the choices you are making now, not the past.

What does your "therapist" say now?

[AAAAA]

I would find a new therapist. You're getting bad information. There can be no healthy outcome (as you've learned) by trying to sabotage your relationship in that way.

[NuckingFutz]

In the future, remember how this experience made you feel. When you feel like cheating the the memory of how you felt should you curb any self distructive urges. As far as not wanting to not have sex with some of them, how do you have sex when you do not want to? If you feel you do not want to have sex , please tell them no. As far as your therapist telling you to have sex with other people, did this not raise a red flag for you? Please keep yourself safe. I would not tell your current bf about this. I hope that you had safe sex, but even if you did, I would have a full STD panel and AIDs test done. Good luck to you and keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

[8Kagome]

I would have felt as guilty as you, so I understand. Your therapist wasn't giving such good advice (everyone knows that) and you should have told your ex. You weren't trustworthy to him and that was wrong. But now that you and him have broken and went parted ways, you have to put all that into the past.

The present is what matters!

i think all you can do is learn from your mistake. beating yourself up doesn't really help once you realize your error. as for getting over the guilt you could talk to a pastor or priest or even just to God if you are inclined that way. we're all human and we all screw so please don't continue being hard on yourself. i don't think you need to tell your new boyfriend though and it might freak him out at this stage in your relationship. maybe a ways down the road you can tell him and he'll understand. he may not though. your therapist truly gave you terrible advice, and i hope you have fired him.

[Martina]

Why did your therapist tell you to do this?

Anyway...

When I was manic, I did some really stupid things, including cheat on my husband with over a dozen men, most of them I didn't even know their names. Just one-night-stands. I still live with the guilt, several years later. He has forgiven me, because he knows I was not myself at the time. But I don't know if I will ever forgive myself.

You need to somehow get to that point where you can forgive yourself. Realize that you were not yourself when you did the things that you did.

[NuckingFutz]

Just checking in...how are you doing?