Need some relationship advice :-)

Nice to meet everyone. I am Matthew, looking to get advice on how not to feel jealous when my fiancee is affectionate (hugs, caresses, pats belly, etc) of her male relatives or her close male friends. I don't mind that she be this way with female friends or relatives; she has very nice, soft hands, and the thought of her touching other males, as mentioned earlier, has me uncomfortable, for they are undoubtedly enjoying what she does for affection. I would appreciate any honest, polite feedback. Thanks!

Welcome, Matthew~

I would think that your first approach would be to talk with her about how you are feeling. Let her be aware of how her "over" affectionate behavior is effecting you. She cannot read your mind, of course, and by expressing yourself properly to her of your concerns & feelings, then she may understand how her behavior is causing you these issues....which can, if left unattended, become more than what it is at present.

Granted, there is nothing wrong with showing affection for another, but there is behavior which can exceed the mere "expression". And for a lot of men, especially, that physical expression (receiving the touch/caress of the hand gesture) can be misconstrued as an invite to something more.

Maybe your fiance isn't aware that what is harmless behavior to her can mean a great deal more to those who are receptive.....(and are happy TO receive).

This is a delicate situation because if your fiance is accustom to being physically expressive and views nothing wrong with it, trying to convince her how it is effecting you may create conflict. Let's hope not.
If she is understanding of you and your feelings, then she will have no problem of "taming" her behavior...though, understand that adjustments of one's own behavior takes time to achieve...practice makes perfect.

When you approach her, refrain from using talk of "YOU are doing this or that", but rather say, "this is how I'M feeling", sorta thing. This tactic should prove beneficial .

Good luck. Wish you the best.

Shangrala

Thank you for your reply to my concern!

Indeed, I have in fact verbalized my discomfort to her, in the way that you suggested; her main response to me was, that she was able to see the reason for my discomfort with that. She told me that she did not feel that what she did was too much, and that the perception they have of her is one of great appreciation, and that I should not worry.

My guess is that it may be also cultural; she is latina, and that could also be why she is that way. She did also say that she would look to be more discrete when showing affection, so I guess that is something.

Thanks again!

My thoughts would be to look and see why you have these feelings. Did something happen in your past to mistrust your significant other? Do you mistrust men in general? If you can figure that out then talk with your lady and I'm sure she can help you realize that you are the only one for her and you have no reason to worry about the other guys getting hugs. Living your life getting upset over small things like that will only hurt you, i speak from experience.