am i just bad?

im i a relationship with a person who truely cares about me and my child. he cares about my well being and he wants to be there for me when ever i need him. in a sense i guess i feel like im just taking advantage of him. i still morn for my loss all those years ago. and here is the perfect person who i can pawn off all my problems. he takes care of my daughter for me when i want nothing to do with her, he looks at her and loves her as his own when it hurts me to just look at her. im scared to hold her for fear of losing her too. i dont want to get close to him because i dont want anything bad to happen. my family hopes that he will be able to help me move on. but i feel guilty because he is a man and he has his needs. although he has never forced me to do anything. and says he will wait but how long is he willing to wait? i feel like a bad person because im using him for my own benefit while he keeps waiting for me to really turn to him and want him as he wants me. but he has helped me to look into my past, and perhaps he has even helped me to find what i must do to move on? but if i am to do this i will eventually have to turn to him and ask for his help.

for more information on my situation or why i am the way i am there is more in Grief and loss under i still see him.... thanks for taking the time to read this and that if you do so...

Have you told him what you just told us?

no... i cant ever seem to, as much as i want to im afraid i will hurt him.

You need to open yourself, or continue to take the chance of losing him. You really should talk to him...

i guess why i dont really want to open up to him is because there is a big part of him that i dont know about.... one big piece of him is a mystery to me. and every time i try to bring it up he changes subjects.