[jamminpianogirl]

Hi,

I'm writing here on behalf of my boyfriend. I am a self-harmer in treatment - I have been to a psychiatrist in the past, take Ativan as needed for my anxiety, and currently am undergoing Dialectic Behavior Therapy. There had been great improvement and I was cutting less than once a week - my suicidal urge had greatly lowered and I was feeling happy and productive in life.

Since, there has been a major setback, and even all the skills I've learned haven't been enough to keep me from relapsing into daily self-harm, constant depression, and a high suicidal urge. My boyfriend has a really hard time coping with all of this, particularly the self-harm. He is extremely hurt and frightened when he sees new scars and bruises on my body, and says he does not know if he can handle it and is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He fears I will commit suicide or harm myself beyond repair despite my reassurances (I have always called for help during my most suicidal moments, and my cuts are usually very superficial with a minuscule amount of blood loss).

I am working hard in therapy to get out of this relapse and have scheduled several extra appointments. I make improvement, but it is slow. My boyfriend is desperate to find a way to cope with my self-harm. We've looked online but all we can find are websites that talk about how he can help ME with my self-harm. How can he help himself? I'm looking for either personal stories and advice, or direction to websites discussing 'how to cope when a loved one self harms'.

Thank you so much for your help.

(note: he is also going to start therapy to try and work through this, but any help, ideas, or direction that can be offered on here is appreciated too)

[Ascension]

NAMI, the National Association on Mental Illness would be where I would recommend you get some more info. They have a resource for people with loved ones with mental illness and such. I can tell you two care for each other. I wish you both the best and keep safe please.

My thought is for your friend to attend some therapy sessions with you. Your therapist may be able to provide insights that may benefit him.

Good luck.

[Perna]

I agree with the Byzantine. Just involving him a little in your therapy, having him meet your therapist might reassure him a little so he doesn't feel it is all on his shoulders? Your own continued reassurance could help too and reminding him of how it actually is/has been in the past. All of anxiety and a lot of fear is of what "might" happen and that can drive people crazy since just about anything "might" happen. Remind him to keep to the present.